TKB - The Time Apart

Chapter 14

Elle POV

I couldn't fall back asleep after that call from Lee.  My brain flitted back between two conflicting themes - Rachel and Noah?  Let's digest these a bit.

Noah has a girlfriend.  I did kinda suspect this. I shouldn't care.  I know I shouldn't care.  I have a boyfriend, right?  I'm happy with my boyfriend, right?  Noah and I have been broken up for nearly 3 years, and he has every right to date.  I know I shouldn't be jealous, but that knot in my stomach doesn't want to listen to rational thoughts.  It makes me sick thinking that there's someone else out there who is with MY Noah Flynn.  Has SHE seen him in his superman boxers?  Does she have her own special Noah Flynn smile like the one he's always reserved for me?  Would June take her in like a daughter?  I have so many other questions here.  But for right now, I'm not OK.  

Lee saw Rachel.  This is a good thing - I am happy for him, which should be no surprise to anyone.  I like Lee with Rachel, she was always good for him.  I felt partially to blame for their breakup.  Lee was so torn up about losing me, that he put so much effort into the bucket list and alienated Rachel.  And the idea of losing me made him put even more pressure on Rachel to work out a visitation schedule for starting college.  I was surprised that she ended things at the time, but looking back it totally made sense.  Now that we're here, years later, maybe there is hope for them.  

Later in the day, while I went out for a walk around the neighborhood, I spoke to Lee again, while I wasn't half asleep, and we were both freshly showered.  I was happy to see that Rachel was by his side, and that they were going to spend the rest of Lee's trip to Boston together.  I brush off the thought of what that meant Noah was doing.  Rachel looked the same, just a little older, but the twinkle in Lee's eye was something that I hadn't seen in a long time.  Lee handed the camera over to Rachel, and we were catching up on the past few years, when I heard a girl's voice call out "Hey Rach & Lee, we're going to go grab some lunch, do you guys want to join us?".  I froze, and Rachel could tell, because she quickly handed the phone back to Lee.  "That was her, wasn't it", I whisper-asked him, hoping she couldn't hear me.  He nodded back to signal that I was correct in my assessment.  Lee apologized for having to go, and that he'd tell me more later.  But honestly, I'm not sure how much more I could take.  

I walked back to Kelsey and Ben's apartment, unsure how to face them, especially Ben.  How could I explain why I was so upset about my Ex's girlfriend, to my boyfriend.  Fortunately, in my stressed out mind, I had forgotten that Ben had gone out with his friends to catch a soccer (ahem, I mean 'football') game, and would be gone for most of the day.  Kelsey was home, and one look at me and she knew something was wrong.  She'd heard bits and pieces about Noah over the years, but when I sat down on her bed, the tears just started flowing out of me.  I know this is irrational, and I shouldn't be this upset about someone who hurt me so badly.  I was supposed to have moved on, and I had - hadn't I?  Kelsey reminded me of all of the things I've done since moving on from Noah - I was in my dream program at a wonderful school, I spent a semester across the globe with my best friend, and I had a great boyfriend who cared a lot about me, and who I cared a lot about as well.  

Kelsey is not only my future step sister, but she's also become a great friend, and she made some great points.  She also then made me a strong margarita, because, well, those help too.  After going through a box of tissues and a pizza, we turned on some classic girly movies - Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, and Legally Blonde.  By the time Ben and the other roommates came home. Kelsey and I were passed out on the couch together, next to an empty margarita pitcher.

Lee and I mostly just texted the next few days.  I think he wanted to avoid the possibility of me seeing or hearing anyone else over FaceTime, based on my reaction last time.  This was definitely a smart move, and I was grateful for that.   When he finally got back to LA, which was a few days before I was headed back, he filled me in more on his time with Rachel over the phone.  Apparently, he had even reached out to my dad to see if he would be able to bring her to the wedding, since she'd be home for the summer. Nothing like a last minute invitation - but Lee's like a son to him too, so I doubt my dad could have ever said no to that.

The wedding!  Not that I had forgotten about it, how could I, but I hadn't even thought about that in the past few days.  How would I handle seeing Noah and a date at the wedding.  Lee must have read my mind, because he let me know that Noah declined the wedding invitation and wouldn't be there.  I was taken aback - Noah was nearly family, and he was going to miss my dad's wedding?  I was a bit hurt, because the Flynns were so close to my dad.  June and Matthew were hosting the Rehearsal dinner and everything.  I did tell myself last year that maybe Noah didn't care about my family anymore, and this is proving me right.  Lee told me he didn't really buy the story, but supposedly Noah had only that weekend to get his belongings moved into his apartment at Yale.  Wait, Yale?  Noah is headed to Yale?  Wow.  As much as I was irrationally 'mad' at Noah, a part of me was happy for him.  I really am proud of him for doing so well.  

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Noah POV

Graduation weekend has been a whirlwind.  I'm relieved that Lee took Rachel's presence so well, and that they seem to be getting along.  On the other hand, I'm not sure how much my parents took to Addison.  I don't think she did anything wrong, I just think she was trying so hard to impress them, maybe a little too hard.  I know she was nervous at dinner, but she barely stopped talking, and didn't let my parents get a word in.  And at lunch the next day, my parents were asking about Lee's time in London, and he mentioned Elle's name, and asked if she was bringing her boyfriend home for the wedding.  I nearly dropped my sandwich in my lap and started choking on the bite in my mouth.  The last thing I wanted to do this weekend was talk about Elle.  But to be fair, they hadn't seen Lee in months, and it made sense that he'd want to catch them up. 

Elle has a boyfriend?  Someone serious enough that she might bring them to the wedding?  And the wedding itself is a sore subject.  I haven't invited Addison to it either. To be honest, I was on the fence about going myself.  Mike and I hadn't always seen eye to eye, and I wasn't really sure if Elle would want me there.  But now, the idea of seeing Elle and another guy there has me convinced that I don't belong there. I know I have Addison, and she's great and all, but she's still not Elle.  I had tried so hard to block her out this past year, Addison deserves that much.  After this conversation, I spent the rest of the night trying to focus on Addison, hoping that she doesn't notice any change in my behavior.  

After everyone had left for the weekend, and I was back at my place, I sat down and gave some serious thought to Mike's wedding.  Honestly, I know I should go - its the right thing to do.  But the thought of seeing Elle, probably looking more gorgeous than ever, with a date on her arm, no less.  It makes me shudder at the thought.  I just don't think I can be that close to her in that type of setting without wanting to put my arms around her, hold her, dance with her.  We never did get the chance to go to a wedding together, and this is not the way I want to attend a wedding with Elle.  I also don't think its fair to Addison either - putting her in that position.  I wouldn't want her to feel second rate to anyone, and I just don't know that I'm ready to bring her back to LA with me - and my parents didn't seem too impressed either.

And Elle having a boyfriend?  I could feel the pit in my stomach coming right back.  That someone else is holding her, making her smile, kissing her?  I know I broke up with her, but its not because I ever stopped loving her, I just loved her so much that I needed to let her grow on her own.  I should be happy for her that she's doing exactly what I wanted her to do - isn't she?  Then why does this hurt so bad?

That's it, decision made.  

I called my new landlord in New Haven, and what do you know, my new apartment will be available the same day as the wedding (I had been planning on moving there a week later - but no one needs to know that).  I guess I won't be able to come after all.  But the question is, can I find it in me to avoid looking at the picture that will inevitably be sent to me afterwards? 

A/N:  Sorry to those of you who are disappointed that Noah won't be making an appearance at the wedding.  As much as I don't buy it,  I wanted to keep it true to the movie/book where they didn't see each other for the 6 years.