Reaching Forward

6

Pulling into Derek's driveway/yard, Meredith turned off her car and stepped onto the moist ground. Taking a deep breath, she began walking towards the trailer until she was hit with a sudden wave of nausea that was being caused by the scent of pine or the thought of actually having to make a decision soon. Her pace then turned into a sprint towards the bathroom. Unfortunately, the door to the trailer was locked.

Having nowhere else to turn, she placed her hand on one of the posts of the porch and leaned over to vomit. Once she was done, Meredith placed a hand on her abdomen and slowly shuffled over to the porch swing. Since becoming pregnant, everything seemed to take a harder toll on her. So, when she reached the swing, she laid down on it, even though it was rock hard, and fell asleep.

What seemed like only a few minutes but in reality was almost an hour, she felt a slight nudged on her shoulder. Snapping out of her sleep, she opened her eyes to see Derek standing over her, "That was quick..."

He smiled, "It's been an hour."

Sitting up, she rubbed her neck and leaned against the back of the swing while Derek joined her, "I guess I've just been really tired and throwing up all the time isn't exactly helping things." He placed a hand on her back and began softly massaging it when she added, "Oh, yeah, you might not want to look over the side of your porch."

Helping her to her feet, he said, "Let's go inside."

Unlocking the door, he opened it and allowed Meredith to enter first. He followed her as she made her way down the short hallway to the bed. Sitting down on the bed, almost like it was routine, she removed her shoes and eagerly got underneath the covers. Setting his keys down on the nightstand beside the bed, Derek lay down beside her on top of the covers. Just a day ago, they were in the same position at her house, except this time Meredith wasn't in hysterics. No, this time she had her eyes closed. He wasn't sure if she had fallen back asleep already or just acting like it so she wouldn't have to face the reality of what they were really here to do. Sighing, he closed his own eyes and drifted off to sleep quickly since he had been on call the previous night.

Hours had passed since the two of them had lain down together. Derek was the first one to awaken; it was dark outside and the only thing he could see was the red numbers of the alarm clock. It read 8:17. Rubbing his eyes, he reached over and turned lamp on. At first, he squinted his eyes at the sheer brightness of the fluorescent light. Rolling over towards Meredith, he pushed her hair back behind her ear and softly whispered her name.

Groaning, she opened her eyes but quickly shut them as the light blinded her, "What time is it?"

Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, "Twenty after eight."

Standing up, he walked to the foot of the bed and turned toward her, "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"I think the only thing I could stomach right now are Saltines."

Nodding, he walked the two feet into the kitchen and began to dig around the back of the cupboards until he felt the rectangular box touch his hand. Grabbing it from its home, he made his way back to the bed and handed Meredith the crackers and rejoined her on the bed.

She opened the package greedily and began consuming its contents. During this time, the two sat in silence except for the loud crunching sounds that were being emitted from Meredith's chewing. Not being able to wait any longer, Derek decided to dive right into why they were here, "Are you afraid to be a mother?"

Quickly, the sounds of crunching stopped and the faint sound of swallowing could be heard. She remained silent for a moment trying to figure out how to answer him. When she finally did, she didn't look at him, rather she couldn't look at him, "Yes."