Bleeding Love [Antoine Griezmann & Neymar]

Chapter XLV

"Are you sure you don't want to move over here, Margie?" James asked me. "Look how beautiful it is!"

"Yeah, it's kind of tempting to be honest, but I have made a decision." I said.

James and I were in the car, he had just passed in front of a university here in Madrid. I knew he had done that on purpose.

"I'm sure you aren't as fluent in French as in Spanish, it would be easier for you to study here."

"I just spoke in French to Karim the other day, I'm sure I can manage." I told him.

"Ugh!" James groaned. "Why are you so stubborn?"

"I can ask you the same question, besides why do you want me to study here so bad?"

"Well, you are my best friend and I like spending time with you and because of it I know you very well and I know that you will regret going to France, I just know."

"I won't."

"Have you had doubts about going there?"

"No." I said, but I actually had had some.

"Right." James said.

Today I had spent the whole day with Daniela while James went training. We went shopping, I did buy some things but not as much as Daniela did. Thank God James went to rescue me and while she was still there at the mall, I was finally getting a well deserved rest for my feet and whole body in general.

"I actually can be transferred to the University of Navarra here in Madrid." I said before I could stop myself, how did I let those words slip from my mouth? I'm screwed. Now he won't shut up about it.

"How come?"

"Nevermind."

"No, you tell me now."

"It's nothing important."

"Margie!"

"Ugh, well when they called me saying I was accepted in the university in France they told me it would be so much easier for me to go to any of the other campus of my current university, one campus is here." I told him.

"And you just tell me now?"

"I guess I forgot to tell you."

"Or you intended to 'forget' to tell me." He said, doing air quotes when he said forget, letting go of the wheel for a second. "And don't you like that idea?"

"It's good, I mean, I would consider it, but I guess I just want to be away from Antoine so my heart can heal and I won't be able to do it if I stay in Spain, I have to get away from here." I said. "Antoine will think I'm following him."

"Maybe only Antoine can mend that broken heart of yours." James said.

"I broke my own heart and I broke his , he won't mend mine."

"Maybe by mending yours he will mend his as well." James said, shrugging. "You just have to forgive yourself."

"What?"

"That heart won't be fixed if you don't forgive yourself, you will always feel guilty and hurt. This is not about Antoine anymore, just you."

I turned to look at him, I had been looking out the window since the university talk started. He was right, I suppose. I mean, Antoine told me he had forgiven me, he forgave me but I don't feel any better, I feel just as bad, as broken, as guilty as I had felt since I cheated on him, maybe I feel even worse.

"Maybe you are right." I muttered.

"Not maybe, I am right."

"But how can I forgive myself when I hurt so bad the person I love so much? When I ruined what we both built for four years and for what? For nothing! It's not like I'm with Neymar now and like he is the right man for me because he isn't the right one, I slap myself mentally when I think about it and I get so upset when I think I fell in his tramp so easily." I said, tears were threatening to fall. "I don't know why I did it, and even though I knew it was wrong I ignored that feeling."