Chapter 13 - Midnight Moon

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Wille flicked through the notebook nervously, waiting for the soft knocking at his window. We couldn't bare to wait and look, so se sat, knees up, on his bed. His mind was spiralling. What if Simon didn't want this, any of it? He couldn't blame him, being with Wille would change everything.

He considered the party. August was clearly trying to rebuild what little relationship that they had, after he destroyed it all. He thought of the first time alone with Simon. The party, months ago. His smile, his laughter, the first time he felt his skin. If only things would have been different, maybe he could have lived in that moment forever.

As he thought of times gone forever, he tuned into the voice of the guard outside his room. Ears pricked up, heart speeding, he heard; "Yes, I was invited by the most esteemed Crown Prince, Wilhelm."

Wille ran to his door, flinging it open to be greeted with the angry eyes of Simon staring back at him. He grabbed is arm, dragging into his room.

"I said to come to the window, the guard-"

"Wille, I told you, I don't want to be anyone's secret. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

After closing the door, he turned to be greeted with Simon's  eyes, filled with fustration. "I know, I am still figuring out how to be normal, I'm sorry."

Simon said nothing in response, but continued; "So, what is it?"

Wille completely forgot that he was the one who invited Simon, he forgot in the moment how to talk, how to reach him.

He walked to his bed, sitting with a slump onto it. Simon turned to face him, but did not sit. Picking up the notebook, he began to flick through it, staring at each page.

"This really is what I want, I just-"

"I can't, and won't, make this decision for you."

"I know, I just... I don't want you to get hurt." He looked up, willing Simon to know that he wasn't asking for Simon to make the decision, but to assure Wille that he would be alright. As Wille returned his gaze back down at the book, Simon took a seat on the desk chair. "I am prepared to give up everything for this, for you. My mother knows that too."

Simon said nothing, but couldn't help but feel guilty for all this. He knew it wasn't his decision to make, but everything would be simpler if none of this had ever happened.

"Would I be enough?" Simon asked, not sure at what Wille's answer would be.

A moment of silence lingered before Wille looked up, a tear running down his face, and nodded. He spoke; "Would I?"

Simon was frozen. He couldn't quite believe what was happening. A small part of him had accepted that someone like Wille could ever be with someone like him, but what was coming out of his mouth in that moment changed it all. 

With a sigh, Simon joined him on the bed, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Knees touching, nothing was said, but everything between them was reconnecting. What, to Wille, felt broken and impossible, was a little more possible with Simon by his side. For Simon, feeling the warmth of the boy that changed everything felt right, nothing more, nothing less.

Notebook still in hand, he retrieved the letter from inside, opening it carefully. Simon's eyes also glanced over the words, before Wille spoke; "I can't do this yet, but I will. It just needs to be the right time. It will be soon, I promise."

In that moment, Simon knew that it wasn't the right time for this, for any of it. Bu he couldn't stay there. He lifted his head, before speaking; "I will give you time, but I can't be here while I do."

"I know, I just needed to tell you. I just want what's best for you."

And with that, Simon arose slowly, leaving Wille on the bed. He turned; "Thank you, Wille." He smiled at him, as he smiled back, then heading for the door.

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Party organisation, along with growing work and stress with Wille was taking it's toll on August. He has never understood Wille, why would he throw away a life of comfort and no stress? He couldn't help but feel guilty though for doing what he did, he just didn't know how to make it up to Wille.

The whole Sara situation had also got out of hand. He never liked her particularly, but her link to both Simon, and by extension Wille, and Felice had been useful in the moment. She seemed to think now that he cared for her. It wasn't that he didn't care, he just never brought feelings into their situation. However, Sara's feeling were something that could become useful to him.

After checking Felice's Instagram, seeing her post a picture of both her and Sara with Rousseau 15 minutes ago, he guessed that they would both still be there. As he entered the stables, the stench of manure filled his nostrils, something he never understood how anyone could get over. Felice was brushing Rousseau as he entered, while Sara was raking hay in the pen.

Felice looked to meet August's eyes, before turning her eyes back to Rousseau. "Whatever it is August, I am not interested."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to Sara for a second."

Felice looked at Sara, confusion etched all over her face. "What is it, August? I'm a bit busy here." 

"I just want a word in private."

Felice became more confused at this. Looking at Sara, she made her way towards August without saying anything, and left out one of the doors.

"Seriously, August, what is it?"

"I just wanted to see you, is that so wrong?"

Sara said nothing, but began to smile awkwardly.

"But there was something else."

"Yes?"

He signed, leaning against the wall, looking down at his feet. "Well, Christmas was really bad for me. I told my mum I thought I might have ADHD, but she didn't believe me. My mind is constantly racing, difficulty concentrating, focussing. Do you get that?"

"Yeah, but I don't get-"

"Well, I get that you need it, but I was wondering if you could spare some pills? I can't function, I-"

"August, I can't, I need them. And plus, its illegal and-"

"But couldn't you say you need a higher dose and give them to me? I can't get an assessment without my mother finding out, and she won't let me, and I am not coping."

Sara looked at him, confused about what the right thing to do was, simply replied; "I don't know."

"Please Sara, it's really important, and you can help me out a lot."

She felt she had no choice, "I am on the maximum dose, but I am sure I can give you some."

"Thank you Sara, you're a life saver." With that, he kissed Sara, pulling her in without much resistance.

After pulling away and beginning to walk back towards the school, he spoke; "There's a party happening tomorrow night. Bring Simon and Felice."

When Sara returned into the stable, Felice looked at her, before speaking; "What the hell did he want?"

"Err- He just invited us and Simon to a party tomorrow night."

"Why couldn't he do that with me here?"

"Don't know" Felice could tell she was lying, but didn't press the matter further. 

Hey! Hope you are enjoying! I am a few ahead, should I publish them now? Or should I pace them out? My plan is that there will be around 32 chapters, so still a way to go!

Also, please vote on my story, and tell people about it if you can! It helps me out a lot! :)

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