You never really realize something until you're in the middle of it.
Whenever you're dreaming , you always find yourself in the middle of your dream. We could say that life sometimes can be like the dream. You always find yourself saying , it's too late , or just in time , but not too often said too early , sometimes it this is just life , it's how you deal with it that will make it either too late or too early.
It was wednesday , around 8:00 Pm , when she started to realize that maybe he didn't care anymore. They had been married for four months , the first three months were absloutley amazing , they went to their honeymoon and even when they came back they had the best time of their lives filled with love and care. He even made her breakfast for a week straight.
But, she knew life wasn't a fairytale , and she truly realized it when he started to decrease his care for her little by little , she didn't think about it that much at first , she only thought that he's not going to spend his life just caring for her , and also that love is through actions not just words.
She was lying to herself to think she's not fazed by it.
She started thinking in their fourth month of marriage, that maybe he wasn't completly honest with her from the begining and that he didn't love her anymore , or maybe he didn't even love her at all. But she couldn't find a real valid reason for what she was thinkning. He also had done so much to her to ignore it.
It was 9:15 when he stepped through their flat , she was sitting on the couch pretending to watch T.V . He went to her and kissed her cheeks.
"Hey babe." he said in a tired and cold voice.
She sighed inwardly and looked at him forcing a smile."Hey"
"Why are you forcing it like that?" he asked her amusedly while going to the fridge to drink water.
" Nothing , I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight." she said hoping to get his attention.
"Okay , goodnight . Actually I think I'm gonna sleep too." he said while going to theiir bedroom already.
She couldn't be more disappointed at that moment , she felt like crying but being numb at the same time. She changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth. By the time she finished he was already passed out on their bed. She slept that night while holding her tears back really hard , her chest aching form blinking away the tears and keeping them for herself.
--
The next morning when she woke up , she didn't feel so well , so she called the company she worked at , and took the day off. He was already at work by the time she awoke , he didn't leave her a note or even texted her like used to for the past three months.
She couldn't help but doubt if chosing him to be her husband was right , she knew she was being a bit irrational and maybe it's just a rock in the road , but really , what is love without caring? How coulsh she know if he still loved her, yes love is actions but we also can't ignore the words , and in their case he didn't express his love for her in words nor in actions for the past two weeks specifically.
Yes, he still said ' I love you' but not that much , he went straight to bed when he came home , many nights not even eating his dinner.
She couldn't help but remember the person he was for the first while of mariiage and even before that , did she get fooled ? She didn't hate him , and she didn't want him out of her life. She just wanted a simple proof that he still loved her.
Once again she held her tears back and got in a simple tall skirt and blouse and headed to the mall.
It was 6:05 by the time he came home , she had already returned home and prepared the dinner in hope he would actually eat today.
