If Things Were Different ~♡Killugon/Gonkillu♡~

-The Feeling Was Friendship-

Back to Gons pov

My knees felt as though they were going to give out from beneath me as I continued walking to the kitchen. I placed both hands on the counter to steady myself.

...What just happened..?

I looked up at my reflection in the window just above the kitchen counter.
My face was bright red.

Killua was probably just joking around right? I'm sure their humor was different since he was born a long time ago...

I started making lunch since the morning had already passed.

He was just messing with me....

The more I convinced myself it was a joke, the more disappointed I felt. I wasn't sure why I felt so disappointed. The whole thing left me feeling so confused.

...

Once I finished making myself a sandwich, my head was nearly splitting open from thinking so much. I thought of every single possibility yet none made sense.
Not only was I unsure of why he did that, but I was unsure of why I reacted like this. I never had friends growing up, so I couldn't understand exactly how I was feeling.

I mean it makes sense that friends would want to be close to each other, right? I guess I just never realized that friends we're THAT close...I liked when he got close to me, so that just means I want to be his friend!

The confusion suddenly melted away as I came to a conclusion I was satisfied with.
The only question I was left with was why Killua disappeared after.
I decided to shrug that question off and enjoy my lunch.

...

After I finished lunch, I decided to call out for Killua. I repeated his name a few times as I sat at the dining table. It took him a little bit, but eventually he appeared.

"Hi Killua!" I said eagerly.
My excitement soon disappeared as I saw Killua's expression. He looked hurt.
"Hey, are you okay?"

"Gon, I'm really sorry for what I did earlier. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable it's just that..." He sighed. "I don't know, I just have this urge to be close to you. And now that I can touch you...I guess I couldn't help myself."
His whole face burned bright red as he explained his feelings.

"No no, it's okay Killua!"
I decided it would be a good idea to share with Killua my big discovery.
"Good friends want to be close to each other! There's nothing wrong with that, right?" I beamed.
Once again Killua had a hurt expression.

"..Yeah you're right. Good friends..."

I quickly blurted out "Best friends!" In efforts to clear up any confusion.
Killua was my best friend after all.
His expression chanced from shocked until he burst out with laughter.

Something told me I still wasn't getting it.

"Haha! God, you're so cute...WAIT—"
Before he could even say anything more, I began to laugh too.

"HEY ITS NOT FUNNY!!" He yelled poking my forehead. His whole face was bright red.
I continued to erupt with laughter until he began to laugh too.

I felt so much better than I did earlier. I was glad Killua seemed to be okay too.
I swung my legs back an forth until I hit something. I looked under the table to see a few more of Kurapika's smaller books.

"Aww man Kurapika left a few more of his books here! Ugh he's so unorganized. I should probably go drop them off at his house." I said getting up from my seat. "I'll be back in a sec, okay?"
I carefully picked up each book and headed out the door. I waved goodbye as Killua closed the door behind me.

~Killua's pov~

Over these past 50 years, I've had time to grow up. Though my appearance hasn't changed, I'm mentally a lot older than I look.
Because I've had so much time to grow up, I've learned a lot about myself. I know who I am.
I know I'm gay.
And though I didn't have any friends before Gon and I still don't always understand my feelings, I know what love looks like. And I know that's how I feel about Gon.
Ive seen countless couples move in here and I've learned a lot. I never wanted to hug and kiss someone until Gon came into my life. I want to be close to him.
Not just in a friend way like he thinks.

I wanted to feel hurt for being so blatantly rejected, but I don't think he knows any better....From where he stands, he probably doesn't even understand what it means to love someone romantically.

I floated in the air on my back, starting up at the ceiling.

I don't even know what to do anymore.....

800 WORD COUNT!!
Anyway hey y'all!! Sorry for this late -ish chapter, but I hope you really enjoy it<33
Also I hope y'all laughed at the title, please get my reference😩🤚

I love you lots,
Mama madlad❤️