A Sacrifice of Names

Chapter 33

Ailbhe had been right and for just a while the tormenting pain was kept at bay, but as hard as she tried Earie failed to move the fingers of her right hand. Moving her entire right arm did not go as she had hoped for either, for while the pain was taken, the bones in her lower arm and hand remained broken.

Why they had taken the shackles from her wrists and ankles she dared not say, but it was an opportunity her grandmother had known she would not get twice. Her chest heaved, chapped lips pressed shut in hope to make as little noise as she possibly could.

Go.

It was now or never.

Allowing her eyes to get adjusted to the darkness she found Brenhin's body. They had not moved him, no one had touched him. Was he still breathing? Earie squinted her eyes a little in an attempt to get a better glimpse of his chest in the darkness, but to no avail. He had not moved an inch, not even her cries had roused him.

Was she too late?

Don't hesitate, Earie. Not now, I don't know how much longer I can still aid you.

Lifting her chin slightly Earie half expected to see her grandmother's spirit hovering over her, surrounded by some holy light, but was met by the same darkness as before. She then cast her eyes towards the door. Maerin was no longer here, nor was the woman Áine. Fionn, that was the name of the bulky man sitting by the door, arms folded in front of his chest.

The one who had taken such delight in breaking bone after bone.

She could feel another wave of nausea coming up but swallowed it down before it was too late. Ailbhe was right, she was stalling, afraid of failure, afraid to disappoint.

Slowly she pushed herself up with her good arm, the other hanging limp at her side. She had no doubt Fionn would hear her, but to her surprise, his body did not move, eyes still cast towards the ground. Had he fallen asleep on the job?

He is awake, her grandmother whispered into her head. But hurry, Earie, I don't know how long...

Part of her wanted to snap at the voice, replying that she understood the task that was given her, but as she looked at the fingers of her good hand doubt again started to pool in her stomach. Even if she could reach Brenhin, what was she to do?

Try and don't hesitate. Believe in yourself.

Almost mockingly she repeated those words without a sound actually leaving her lips. She took the first step in Brenhin's direction, feeling her breath hitch in the back of her throat. Fionn did not move. He did not see her, he did not hear her.

She was invisible once more, but for how long?

Crouching next to Brenhin Earie hesitated. As memories resurfaced she, again, could see him plunge his dagger into the Regent's former emissary. Again she could see that same dagger being thrown in front of Muriel's feet after Firas' body dropped to the floor, lifelessly.

The cold look in his eyes, the bite in his voice. Had it indeed all been an act, like her grandmother had said? An act to protect her, to keep her safe? Had he known who she was from the moment they had met back in Keely's house? Her hand hovered over the side of his face, bringing it back towards her chest before she could even touch a strand of his hair.

You are hesitating, love.

"H-he..." she stammered into nothingness, her words barely perceivable. "What if I can't... what if he isn't?"

Listen to what your heart says, believe in yourself.

But was that going to be enough? Queen or not, fae or not, how could her grandmother be so sure he had been looking after her all this time? He had threatened her, frightened her, but had he actually ever hurt her? His sly grin had made her want to curse him, the jesting look in his eyes, always reserved for her, had made her want to stomp his feet till he would cry out in pain. The hand in front of her chest clenched together, grasping the fabrics of her tattered sweater.