lost loves, found loves

2012 - after the New York battle

As we stepp into the Palace of Valaskjalf, Thor holding Loki's chains in one hand and my hand in the other, we are welcomed by Odin and Frigga with several guards. They both have very different reactions to seeing us. Odin is mad and disappointed in Loki, but Frigga is as warm-hearted as ever. Before she even turns to discipline her son, she flings her arms around me and welcomes me home.

"It might have been only the tiniest fraction in our lives where you were gone, but it felt like a lifetime," she says.

"It was," I chuckle. "For humans, it was."

Frigga chuckles as well. "Humans," she whispers to herself with an amused look.

Thor doesn't let go of my hand even when he himself hugs his mother. She seems glad to have him back. Then, when the pleasantries are over, Frigga and Odin both turn a firm eye on Loki. Thor decides to take me away so the three could have a talk alone. Even before we are out of the hall, we hear Odin's loud voice shouting something about dishonour and shame. I feel bad for Loki, for my heart still belongs to him.

Thor and I go to the stables to get us two horses and ride into the sunset. It is a beautiful feeling to be back on a horse - I haven't been in such a long time, but I never unlearned how to ride. As we are riding through the streets of Asgard, many people greet us and welcome me back. I have tears in my eyes when I see the children I have left now being adults. These tiny boys and girls who used to annoy Loki and me are now parents. Thor and I stop at a lake with a beautiful view at the setting sun. We sit in the grass, and I lean myself against his strong shoulder.

"I have missed so much, all because I thought Asgard wasn't enough for me," I say quietly, almost whispering.

Thor turns his head to look at me. "But you have seen so much else."

"I know, but... I should have been there. Here. I should have been here for you and for Loki, especially. I blame myself," I say and feel tears coming into my eyes. I haven't said these words out loud yet, but I mean them.

Thor moves away so that I have to sit up straight. He looks me in the eyes and frowns. His big, strong hands cup my face. "What are you talking about, milady?"

I swallow my tears, me throat feeling tight. "I blame myself for what has happened. Maybe if I had been here, Loki wouldn't have- Maybe everything would have happened differently. Maybe you wouldn't have been exiled, and I would have been there for Loki when he found out who he really was and-" I start to cry. "He wouldn't have tried to destroy Jotunheim, and the Bifrost would still be here, and he never would have fallen and found the Chitauri and invaded Earth and-"

I can't get any more words out of my mouth. Thor pulls me close against his chest and runs his hand through my hair. I am sobbing against his chest - not very Asgardian of me. He grabs my shoulders, and I look up at him, his face sincere and compassionate.

"This is not your doing. Loki has always been a different kind of person. He has always been turned to that darker side inside of him. Maybe things would have happened differently, but Loki would have tried to rule Earth and more eventually. We can never know what would have happened if you had stayed."

I nod. He cups my face again and brushes away my tears with his thumb. I smile slightly. It feels so good to be back in his arms, I only wish it were different circumstances.

"Do not worry, my heart. He will be alright," Thor says in a low voice.

We turn back to the sunset, a beautiful, glowing, orange orb above the horizon. I take a deep breath - it feels good to inhale the Asgardian air again. I think it somehow smels cleaner and healthier than the air on Earth, but maybe it is just my imagination.