This Diary I Found

16 :: Loose Lips Sink Ships

Chapter 16: Loose Lips Sink Ships

Good news! Emma and I made it to the Top 10 list of the most tequila slammers downed in one sitting at Quino's Brewery.

Bad news, though. We forgot where our shoes went.

But, it's not so bad. I still managed to run over to the pastry shop and get two baguettes to bring over to our picnic table.

The sun had set over the horizon and its rays had been replaced by twinkling lights scattered all over the park. There were more people than when we first arrived. The turnout must have doubled over the past few hours. Either that or I'm so drunk, I'm seeing double.

"Mon amí!" I hollered as I got closer to Emma, who may or may not have been passed out on the picnic table surrounded by pretzels and melting snowflakes.

She shot up and laughed when she saw what I had brought. "Whoa. Where'd you get the lightsabers?"

"Lightsabers?" I snorted and sat down next to her. "They're not lightsabers. They're French breads!"

"Ouí, ouí!" she hiccupped, taking one baguette from my hand.

"What does that mean?" I asked, hugging my baguette as she examined hers.

"I don't know," she said. "I think it means pee in Tagalog."

I laughed, pointing my baguette at her. "You're drunk."

She slapped my baguette away with hers. "You're drunk."

"We're both drunk!" I pointed the baguette at her again.

"Hey! Don't point your lightsaber at me, you piece of Sith."

"Oh! How surprising! The goth watches Warts Tar," I slurred, trying not to topple over the wooden table. "Starts War... Swart Arts... Arse Wars... whatever!"

Emma gasped and stood up on the table. She wielded her baguette at me like a sword, saying, "Who are you calling goth, mister? I am a Jedi! Show some respect."

I jumped up the table, hitting her baguette away with mine. "You're no Jedi. You can't even handle your lightsaber properly."

"Baby, I can handle anyone's lightsaber properly," she said, batting her lashes at me.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah!" she yelled, her eyes widening with mania as she swung her mighty lightsaber at me.

She hit me square across the face. It could have hurt without the numbing effect of alcohol, but since we were shitfaced, I only felt the flakes of bread sticking on my cheek.

I took some sort of fencing position and Emma mirrored me. "Én guard!" she shrieked, battering away with her French bread. I jumped off the table, running away from the mad bread slasher.

We may have toppled over a few food stalls as we recreated a medieval sword fight but we never cared. We stabbed. We slashed. We ran around like crazy.  The duel didn't stop until I took a swing at Emma and she caught my sword. With her teeth!

"Hey!" I whined. "Stop eating my lightsaber."

"Trevor! Trevor! You have to try this. It's so good!" she said with her mouth full. Bits and flakes of the pastry flew out of her mouth as she kept beckoning me to have a bite. I laughed at the scene and that's when she stuck the loaf in my opened mouth.

I gagged as the bread hit the back of my mouth. Wow, I would not make great blower. I bit down on the pastry. Boy, Emma was right! It did taste good!