Stay By Me

Epilogue I.

[A/N: This will be how I intended to end this story, the darker ending. The one that ends the plot ad I originally intended and I think might stay truer to the book's plot. But you have a choice here. If this is not the ending you wanted for these character, you can read on to the next ending, the brighter and more optimistic one. Or read both and decide for yourself. Thank you for reading this far, author out.]

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As Dally stood there, in front of Diana's still-fresh grave, he wished strongly and bitterly that it was him there, and not her. He had known for so long, almost hoped even, that he would burn bright and fast, with an ending to match. But even though he had known that this was what Diana had said she had wanted, he didn't really believe it.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had. He loved her. The girl in the ground was the girl he loved. The girl, who he realized now, that he could have saved. Had he made better choices, he wouldn't have a reason to be at the cemetery at all.

The gang had tried to find the light of the situation. Diana had essentially saved Johnny. Had she not given him her leather jacket, that fateful night that seemed so long ago, he wouldn't have been there. Wouldn't have been there to be at her funeral, as it would have been his, too.

He hated it. He blamed himself. It was his fault she was dead. If he'd just stopped to make one of those good thought out choices she always talked about, they could all still be there. He had rushed out of the hospital thinking that Johnny was dead. Tried to get himself killed because of it. But Johnny was still alive. She'd died for him. She'd died for nothing.

Maybe that dumb editorial was right. Maybe they were like Romeo and Juliet. Two dumb kids who loved each other. Two dumb kids who would never get their happy endings. Really, he had a choice there. He could join her forever. Just like Romeo and Juliet. Because depending on how you looked at it, maybe they did get their happy ending. They were together forever, they fixed the rift between their families.

No. That wasn't a choice. Diana had died so he could live. So he could be with Johnny. So he could be with the gang. So that they wouldn't have to hurt because he was gone. If he died now, she really would have died for nothing.

"Fuck you," he whispered quietly. He didn't mean it badly though. From him, it sounded almost affectionate.

Dally sat down and looked at her gravestone. It read, Diana Marie Drewitt, 1948-1965. Daughter, friend, lover.

He didn't like it. He didn't like that daughter was there. Her parents hadn't raised her well enough to get to call her a daughter. He'd been outraged when her "father" had the nerve to show his face at her funeral and pretend to be distraught. The least he could do then was let her be dead in peace with the truth that he'd never loved her.

He didn't like that friend was there. She'd never really had friends or been a friend. Only a few people could ever really call her a friend. Others now called her a friend, but only because she was dead. He had been mad to see Cherry Valance there, too. Cherry had never really liked Diana, Diana had never really liked Cherry. Why was she there? Because she "felt bad" again?

Lover. That was what he hated the most. She had never been loved. She had never been able to love, either, because there'd never been anyone in her life for her to love. She'd only gotten to know love at the end. Love was what landed her there, six feet under the ground.

He sighed. He was trying. He really was, trying to live life. Life without her, life without the old Johnny. The old Ponyboy. But that was how life worked. Life moved you along whether you wanted it to or not. He was trying to live the life he was given, where he didn't wake up to see her on the other side of the bed, life where he couldn't jump over the fence at the nightly double with Johnny.

He turned to leave. As he did, he caught sight of the sunrise, as it streaked shades of gold and pink across the sky. He couldn't help but stop and watch as the beams of golden sunlight lit up the world, shining on his face as he walked towards the Curtis house, where the gang would be starting another new day.

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The end, part one.

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