By My Side

Chapter 3 - Realizations

In which the trio argue, the battle continues, and we get a look into Ahsoka's perspective. :) And out of curiosity's sake, what does everyone think will happen to Ahsoka?

Anakin struggles to gather himself together, focusing on Obi-Wan's calming presence and stands up, grateful he doesn't feel as shaky as he did earlier. Minutes later, he arrives where Obi-Wan and Ahsoka have gotten the mission through to Coruscant. Good. Anakin isn't sure what he'd have done if he had to see Yoda again right now. "What's the status?" he calls, attempting to ignore the sudden pain at feeling Ahsoka again. Later. He doesn't have time to deal with it right now. Not in front of anyone.

"We got the message through to the Council," Obi-Wan replies, "But the transmission was jammed. We'll have to hold out a little longer."

"We'll manage," Anakin insists. They have to. They did last time, and he's much more skilled now. He actually knows what he's doing, and he's learned – only to a point, but still – how to control his powers.

"My apologies, young one," the Jedi Master states, turning towards Ahsoka. "It's time for a proper introduction."

"I'm the new Padawan learner. I'm Ahsoka Tano." She doesn't even sound much like the one he remembers. She's so much younger, so untamed and immature, so unaffected by the war. Whether she's with him or not, he won't let that innocence fade so quickly this time.

"I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, your new master."

"I'm at your service, Master Kenobi," she replies, then points to Anakin, "But I'm afraid I've actually been assigned to Master Skywalker."

He knew this was coming. How can he turn her down, even if it is for her own good? He can't imagine a life without her, but it doesn't matter, because this isn't... it's not her, but she's still a child and looking at him with expectation, hoping for acceptance. "I – I can't," he manages finally. "I'm not ready to take a padawan." Not now, probably not ever. He won't ever fail anyone else like he failed her. After all the time that they spent together, that he spent teaching her... she left. He looks desperately to Obi-Wan, searching for some sort of reassurance. He can't do this.

"You'd make a good teacher, Anakin," Obi-Wan says instead.

Images of Ahsoka being captured by the Trandoshan hunters and the Zygerrians and Hondo flash through his mind. Images of her being chased by the clones and thrown out and when she walked away and – "I can't," he insists desperately. Don't do this. Please, don't make me do this!

"Anakin." He can't tell of Obi-Wan is annoyed or concerned right now. "Just teach her everything I taught you and she'll turn out fine."

As usual. He never listens. Anakin tried before, and he failed her. He won't do it again. He can't send her off – who else could take care of her, if not him? – but he can't train her, either. Desperations slowly morphs into anger. No one listened to him before either. No one trusted him. No one believed him when said Ahsoka was innocent. "Why can't you?" he snaps back. "It was you who was supposed to get a padawan."

"No," Ahsoka interjects, and he really, really wants to scream right now. "Master Yoda was very specific. I'm assigned to Anakin Skywalker, and he is to supervise my Jedi training." She sounds so smug. Too smug. Completely obvious to his fear and desperation to not be the cause of her pain again. To actually see her grow to her fullest. But he can't trust anyone else to take care of her either. He needs someone now. Someone to tell him what to choose. But he's alone. Always alone.

"We'll have to sort this out later," Obi-Wan decides. "It won't be long before those droids figure out a way around our cannons."

"Right." They can worry about Ahsoka later, but Anakin hates how the very feel of her presence has him torn between screaming, crying, or tackling her in a hug, because she's here, but it isn't her, and hurts to keep reminding himself that. "I'll check on Rex at the lookout post." He starts heading off, desperately hoping for another moment of quiet.