What now? [winterwidow]

20 - What to do...

Natasha POV

"Clint."

"Hey Clint, you listening?"

"Yea, yea sorry what?" I look over to see him polishing his arrows once again and notice a few new features on his arrows Stark must have just recently concocted for him.

"What do you think about Barnes? Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary or just... strange about him?"

"Nat, it's been months since he joined us and I still haven't held a single conversation with that guy. How would I know?!" Well that was helpful.

***

"Hey Natal - sha...Romanoff." 

Full name. Really? He's been acting oddly since we last trained, or have I? I still don't know what to think of him but something is just eerily familiar about him.

"Yes?"

"I was uhh-" he pauses, "wondering if you wanted to grab something from the cafeteria?" he asks with so much nervousness radiating through his body I instantly feel guilty thinking about rejecting his proposal. 

"Ok." Nice one Nat, a cool and simple response, hopefully he can take this as a sign of my hesitance. We walk to an isolated corner by the window after grabbing our food and once again we are trapped in nothing but silence and staring, facing each other. Why bother asking if he isn't going to say anything. I really can't understand this man.

"So umm, it has been a couple of months and I have been wanting to ask, do you, remember me? Not from back in Odessa or when I... shot you off the bridge in D.C but before that."

Great, more fun times of trying to unlock my memories that never seem to escape. 

"I don't know Barnes, I understand that you're trying to learn more about yourself now that your memories are back but like I said, I lost whole chunks of my memory back in the red room. My only recollection of you is as one of the trainers for Group R in Belarus. And a red petal?" Why do I suddenly remember a red petal? I don't mention anything about our sparring, the risk of false hope is something I never want to experience again after Alexi.

_______

Barnes POV

Like a trance, I stare at the fluid movements between the air and ball, moving along with gravity as it lands in my palm before launching towards the ceiling only to fall back down.

"...so, what do you think? I don't think she remembers me."

"Well, now you know how I felt huh Buck. Look, why don't you just ask her directly. Stop waiting around for nothing to happen and actually, properly figure out what's going on with you two. What has gone on with you two."

I fail to make any and all eye contact as my gaze remains fixed on the ball. I am pretty tired of the tense air between Natalia and I. Maybe I should say something. I toss the baseball into the air one last time before squashing it into what resembles a mini pancake. I bounce from the bed, ready to do something knowing full well that Steve is definitely about to whine about his now deceased baseball.

"Really Buck. How many things do you plan on destroying in my room?"

What a baby. He can just buy a new one...

*** 

With newfound determination I march directly towards Natalia's room. I am ready to unravel this once and for all. I knock on the door patiently waiting for a response but when I notice she isn't inside, I go to the next best place. The training room. 

My singular knock echoes throughout the almost empty room as the only other sound in the vicinity belongs to the light pants of a familiar silhouette. She whips her head back towards me, beautiful as ever, like a movie scene repeating itself in different time eras. I had missed this.

"Natalia. Let's talk. Properly."

Hi hi. It's me again. I have not forgotten my vow to complete this book before the year ends so here is the next chapter and I'm sorry it's short. The next chapter will be uploaded sometime next week and will be the finale so YAYYYY my book that took like 6 years will finally be completed hahaha. 

Alsooo, I know it's really late but can we just talk about the disrespect in the end credits for the Black Widow movie that finally came out?! How dare they give her such a lousy graveyard ;-;

17/12/2021