Chris's POV
I didn't sleep all night because I cant get over the thought that I kiss Chandler back
I basically fucking cheated
I cheated on Katie...
The love of my life my bestfriend...
How could I fucking do that?
It felt so right
For some reason...
I dont fucking know what to do.. I could just leave that's the easiest thing to do.. but I know Chandler... he will start drinking again...all that shit.. he would blame himself... I don't want him to go through that..
To be honest... I wanted more...his lips where...so? What the fuck... why am I thinking this what the actual fuck it just felt so fucking right I could hold his hand and not feel bad but a fucking kiss...it feels right but its so wrong
I just dont know...how to feel
I sit up and look at him laying there
"Cha- chandler.." I say
"Hmm" he groans
He grabs his arm and let's out a sigh
"Can we talk?" I ask
He sits up and stares me in the eyes
"I'm sorry for getting mad last night" I say "but..about the kiss.." i add on
"I'm sorry I'm just sorry" he says
"I wont do it again..I didn't mean to I'm sorry" he says
I dont know what to do really...
I felt so different with him during the kiss...I wanted more I wanted to pull him close...take off his clothes..kiss his body.. I wanted to do that that felt so right but it's so fucking bad
I dont know...
I shouldn't be around him anymore..
Im... just questioning alot of stuff.. right now... my marriage? My sexuality? And a whole lot of shit..I'm just so confused
I dont wanna distance him.. I just don't know anymore he'll start cutting,drinking agian I don't want to be the cause of that I love him but I don't know I have a feeling that distancing him is the right thing to do...
I look at Chandler I look at his watery eyes seeing him cry brakes me so much I don't want him in any type of pain there's only one thing to do though..
"Chandler-" I say before I get cut off of the hug I feel him son in my chest it really made me want to cry to.. I place my hand on the back of his head I stroked his hair and try to comfort him
"Chandler I think that we have to distant each other... I'm sorry...we could just hang out when we get to film....or when we are with Jimmy"i say I feel him grab my wrist and cry harder I feel really bad for doing this I also have another idea..
"Or...We can just forget about what happened and move on or....or...c-an can I- can I kiss you again?" I ask
he lets go of my wrist and looks of that me "w-what?" He says
I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him in for another kiss he puts his hand on my chest and pushes away I look him in the eyes and look down he pulls me back for another kiss...he pushes away and stares at me
"Or we can just...Stay like this and not tell anyone.." I say
"Y-yeah.. I- i..like that" he says
I rub his shoulder and he start smiling at me I smile back at him and run my hand down his arm..
"Ok..ok it's official chan chan" I say
I lay down and look up at the ceiling I feel Chandler Place his head on my chest and let out sniffles
after a while I heard Chandler start snoring Softly
(Time skip)
I wake up to Chandler staring at me with the cute smile
"Chris you you make me happy... i..haven't felt like this in a while and It... feels really good" he says
I smile at him and rub his hip
We stared at each other for a few minutes until I went in for a kiss a soft long kiss which felt really good
he let out a soft laugh and wrapped his hands around my neck
slowly got on top of him and started kissing his neck
That soft kiss turned in to a intense make out.. we made out for a few minutes but Chandler stopped it...
We just layed there holding hands staring at the ceiling..
I could tell Chandler was really happy..witch made me happy
_
Hi hope you enjoyed <3
