reason to live (short story) - (UPDATED)✔️

working is stressful.

Nolan

   i've been doing my college courses online. Elliot and I agreed that it would be better for my well-being and my attendance has been doing well so far, so i guess it's really not that bad. Elliot has been busy himself, dealing with his business and all has made him a bit more tense than usual.

   i've been studying to become a journalist in hopes to one day write about real-life things, real-life things like mental health with the youth. since i'm only nineteen i find it quite interesting how mental health has become such a normalized thing with teenagers and young adults such as myself.

  i'd like to one day become a speaking tool for those who don't know how to express the realization of mental health without seeing it in a glorify manner to show that these effects do not dehumanize who we are as people.

  i look to Ellie as i listen to him bicker on the phone with one of his assistants. Ellie's parents were very wealthy and as he grew up he began to partake in some of the privileges of having money and after the passing of his father, he found himself connecting to him by involving himself in some of his fathers interests like piano lessons and the guitar or even writing and art.

  his growth improved amazingly fast, through time and after a while, he made a name for himself in newyork being openly known to be a musical genius. but discarded the stages of musical rhythmic motions to find his own interest later in the future. he decided to give it a rest and start his own business and that's how we are where we are now.

  but apart from Ellie, i had my fair share of piano lessons too, growing up. i can still think of memories where i'd be playing downstairs and he'd sit quietly at the staircase and listen to me play before applauding to me at the end. he says that i have real talent and that if i stopped doubting myself i could get somewhere with it.

  i smile at the sudden thought.

  my eyes shift to my boyfriend as he paces back and forth through the kitchen, the dim lights from the kitchen catching darkness through his figure as he notices my paring eyes. he hangs up before coming behind me for a warm embrace. i smile at the comfort as look up at him, in hope that he'll kiss me.

   without hesitation he follows the motion with a small peck to my lips. "you've been working longer hours than usual." he muffles against my shoulder as his breathe sways against my ear. i nod, i have been working longer than i would most days. my courses were increasing and my need for time was only expanding to a certain degree, in some ways, in my favor but the other majority wasn't.

  time doesn't stop, knowing that made it a lot more harder to go about things at my own pace, "stressful."

  i find myself mumbling the word out loud in a quiet whisper but of course, he heard me, to which he decided he'd offer himself as a helping hand. i didn't have the energy to refuse although i know Elliot has never really had much experience with college, he had already found his way through life as a successor, he didn't need to.

   he decided that if he couldn't help me with classes he could help me in a different way. "i'll stay awake with you while you figure things out." he says with a soft tone as he hands me a freshly made cup of mocha coffee. i give a tight small smile to deflect my teeth from showing too much.

  while i take in the sweet scent as he sits on a stool beside me in the modern kitchen, the silence taking over for a small second before i press an innocent peck to his cheek. i watch his soft expression change from the show of affection as he flusters in a cute way. i ignore the gesture, saving him from embarrassment as he grabs a blanket to wrap around the both of us.

  i decided i'd continue to work as i scan through the various papers on the island. my eyes moving from the macbook in front of me and the papers. i can feel Ellie's gaze focusing on my every move. "you shouldn't work like this." he looks at me as his hand's motion around the disorganized papers around us. "you're stressing yourself out, trying to do too many things at once." he comments as he picks up a few of my math sheets.

  "let's start here so then we can go there," he says pointing at my laptop with more work on it.

   i never thought i'd be getting lectured by an inexperienced person when it came to college work, i wasn't too surprised, to say the least. he's always been intelligent in proving himself worthy of many great things, it's one of the main reasons why he's the most hard-working man i know.

  and sometimes i envy his gaze through life as he finds Solutions through all, while defining negativity as a beautiful aspect of his own.

i love that, i love him

a lot.