The Wolf and The Raven, Bk 2

Ch 18 - Snape's Worst Memory

Note: Much of this chapter is directly copied from the chapter of the same name in the book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. All credit goes to Ms. Rowling for her original content.

Warnings: Mild cursing

Remus never returned to the Mirror. He buried himself in his studies and if his friends ever brought up his week of unusual behaviour, he would just mutter something about "the moon" and "hormones." They decided to accept his answer because he seemed back to normal, but also because they too had become absorbed in their studies.

While James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and the rest of the fifth-years prepared for their exams, Branwen's duties in the hospital wing nearly doubled. Madam Pomfrey kept her busy brewing Calming Draughts and Draughts of Peaceful Sleep for the students who poured in with cases of sleep deprivation and anxiety. She also treated the odd spell-backfire as nerves got to otherwise talented students, causing them to fumble even simple charms. The Marauders brought Peter in one afternoon when his Cheering Charm rebounded. Branwen had to isolate him in a room equipped with a silencing spell so his shrieks of laughter wouldn't disturb the other stressed-out students.

Exams weren't the only causes of tension on campus though.

The resistance-sponsored DADA seminars had begun in February. They were meant to be kept secret, but, as was inevitable in a school with hundreds of young people living in close quarters, word spread quickly. News of the exclusive meetings had the effect of dividing students into three distinct factions: those who supported Dumbledore, those who didn't, and those who didn't care.

Crowley Mulciber and Zaine Avery had become the leaders of a small gang of anti-Dumbledores that included Augustus Rookwood, Damion Wilkes, and Evan Rosier. They made it their mission to discover students involved in the resistance and to hex them whenever possible. Branwen treated Mary MacDonald for severe burns one day after Mulciber cast an Imperious Curse over her and made her stick hand over the fire beneath her cauldron.

Two days after the June full moon, the O.W.L. exams began.

Each day covered a different subject, during which the students would sit first a theoretical, then practical examination. The days passed more quickly than they would have thought until there was only DADA and Transfiguration left.

With her own exams passing easily, Branwen took a break from studying and her hospital duties to enjoy the warm summer afternoon beneath the shade of a beech tree near the edge of the lake. Regulus joined her, and they took turns floating small coins in the air for Sean to chase after.

The Niffler was nearly full-grown now, with only a few of his adolescent spots remaining. He was proving himself quite the clever, well-behaved pet: during classes or on nights of the full moon, he slept peacefully in his wicker cage in the girls' dorm; between classes or on weekends, he was happy to ride around in Branwen's pockets, swimming merrily in the dozens of coins and trinkets she provided him.

Beneath the tree, Regulus did a particularly tricky loop-de-loop that involved half-a-dozen galleons. He smiled when Sean easily caught each one. Scratching the Niffler on the back of his neck, Regulus cleared his throat. "So....Bran....can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Um...we're still friends, right?"

"No," she giggled. "I just like spending time with random people for no reason at all."

He smiled and flushed a pale pink. "Well....can I ask a favour of you? As a friend?"

"Of course."

"Well, you see, my cousin's wedding is coming up. You remember Narcissa?"

Branwen grit her teeth. She remembered Narcissa Black very well. Though she wasn't as cruel as some of her fellow Slytherins, her fiancé, Lucius Malfoy, was notorious for his pureblood prejudices. "I remember."

"Well, I'm going to be there, and I'm meant to bring a guest...."

Branwen's heart sank. She didn't mind spending time with Regulus, but the idea of more than a minute in the midst of the Black clan was already making her sick to her stomach.

He sensed her reluctance. "Look, I know what I'm asking. I'm not looking forward to it either. I just need someone to take so my mum doesn't hex me. She suggested I take Kendall Bruce, but I thought it might be better with someone I actually like. Plus, Sirius will be there," he added hastily.

Branwen groaned. "Will there be food?"

"Lots of it," he grinned. "And all free."

"Fine," she sighed and returned his smile. "When is it?"

"Next month."

"All right. I'll be there."

Just then the door to the entrance hall opened, releasing a small flood of fifth-years. The students blinked in the sunshine, like animals emerging from a cave. Some of them were already reviewing their exam papers, trying to decipher what they had gotten wrong or right. Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Jemma strolled to the edge of the lake before sliding off their shoes and socks and wading in.

James spotted his sister beneath the tree and led Sirius, Remus, and Peter in her direction. Regulus gave Branwen a smile and wave, then set off toward the dungeons, no doubt retreating to his common room.

Branwen leapt to her feet and ran up to her friends. "So, how was the test?"

"Nothing to it," James grinned and gave her a hug.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius grinned and nudged his friend in the ribs.

"Loved it," Remus said briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."

"Do you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did. One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin...."

Branwen giggled. "Four: he's rubbish at flying, and five: he snores like a troll."

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh.

"I got the mouth shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else -"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month -"

"Keep your voice down," Remus implored.

"Well, I thought that test was a piece of cake," Sirius interjected. "I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."

"Me too," said James.

They made their way back to the beech tree where they all settled down. James put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

Branwen rolled her eyes. "Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away and seizing it again as Peter watched in awe.

Remus dug around in his bag. "Here. Quiz me, will you?" He hand Branwen his worn copy of Intermediate Transfiguration.

She laughed. "You're probably the most prepared student in the school. Are you sure you don't want to go cool off in the lake or something?"

He shook his head. "Don't want to take any chances."

She smiled, turned to the page describing the Owl-to-Opera Glasses spell, and began questioning him on wand movements.

Sirius ignored them all, glancing around the lawn with a studied air of boredom. The slight breeze tousled his long, dark hair. Nina and Amber had joined the girls in the lake and they pointed in Sirius' direction, giggling and blushing.

James watched them from the corner of his eye. The breeze was doing nothing for his own hair, so he ran his fingers through it, as though to make sure it did not get too tidy. He was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom farther and farther away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded.

Branwen rolled her eyes again. "You're not even a Seeker, James – why would you have a Snitch?"

"Jealous?" James smirked. He moved to grab the Snitch once more, but before he could blink, the little yellow orb was wrapped in Branwen's fingers. She switched it off, then rolled it across the grass for Sean to play with.

"Jealous?" she taunted.

Remus snickered as James flipped his sister the middle finger.

"You guys are such children," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, this coming from Mr. Mature," Remus scoffed.

"Oh, Padfoot," Branwen suddenly straightened up. "I meant to ask, are you going to your cousin's wedding next month?"

"I wasn't planning on it. Wait – how did you know about that?"

"Regulus invited me."

Remus stiffened beside her. "Regulus? I thought you two weren't –"

"We're still friends."

"What did you tell him?"

"I said yes."

"Feathers!" Sirius groaned. "Now I have to go too!"

"Why?"

"To protect you. Do you know what my family is like? You'll be like a lamb in a pack of wolves. No offence, Moony."

Remus' only response was a dark flush that spread over his entire face.

"I think I can take care of myself, Padfoot," Branwen said.

"Whatever. I'm still going."

The group lapsed into a discontented silence. Remus pulled out a piece of parchment and started listing the properties of Vanishing Spells. Peter entertained himself by trying to wrestle the Snitch away from Sean who easily had the upper hand. James simply leaned against the tree, pouting that his sister had showed him up. Finally, Sirius yawned and stretched. "I'm bored. Wish it was a full moon."

"You might," Remus said darkly.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is...."

Sirius' head turned. He became very still, like a dog that had scented a rabbit.

"Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."

Severus had raised himself from the dense shadows of a clump of bushes, stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Remus and Branwen bent over the Transfiguration textbook together, though they kept glancing between each other and their friends, frowning. Peter was looking from Sirius and James to Severus with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Severus reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack. Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Severus' wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Impedimenta!" he said pointing his wand at Severus, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Severus lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up. James glanced over his shoulder at the girls on the water's edge as he went. Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around the tree to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed. Peter sniggered shrilly. Severus was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You – wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You – wait...."

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

"You son of a hairy-arsed Acromantula! You're nothing but a blood-traitor, Black! And you, Potter, you and your disgusting whore of a sister! Crucio! Expulso! Sectemsepura!" Severus let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but his wand being ten feet away, nothing happened.

There was a harsh silence among the crowd. Remus had jumped to his feet while Peter and Branwen watched in horror.

Then James lifted his wand again. "Wash out your mouth," he said coldly. "Scurgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him –

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius spun around. James' free hand jumped to his hair again. The tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature. "All right, Evans?"

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. "What's he done to you?"

"Well...." James appeared to deliberate the point – he wanted Lily to know how horrible her friend had become, but he also didn't want to repeat Severus' foul language, "....it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean."

Many of the surrounding watchers laughed uncomfortably, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus sat back down beside Branwen, gripping her hand tightly in his own.

"You think you're funny," Lily said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on....Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Severus was beginning to inch toward his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Severus. "OY!"

But too late; Severus directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered. James, Sirius, and Peter roared with laughter.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upward. Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Severus keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Severus struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is!"

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after, "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right –"

There was another flash of light, and Severus was once again hanging upside down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

"Literally no one wants to see that!" Branwen jumped to her feet and ran toward her brother, shoving him to the ground. As James' arse bounced on the grass, Severus came crashing down yet again.

Branwen kept shouting. "The girl you've fancied since first year is probably crying her eyes out and you're standing here trying to undress another boy! Run after her, you bloody idiot!"

James' eyes widened. He gulped, then scurried away. "Evans! Hey, Evans!"

Mary, Marlene, Jemma, Nina, and Amber had all hurried after Lily when she stormed away from the scene of disaster. James could barely make out her ginger head in the middle of the blonds and brunettes. "Evans, wait!"

The group of girls paused and glanced at each other. Finally, Marlene broke away. "Potter, you're the last one Lily wants to see now. Why don't you go jump off the Astronomy Tower without a broom!"

James' fist clenched around his wand instinctively. But he blew out a deep breath and said, "Fine. But tell Evans I apologise. What I did back there....what I've been doing....I'm just....I'm sorry, okay?"

The herd of girls parted. Lily emerged. "What did you say, Potter?"

"I – I said 'I'm sorry.'"

Lily nodded and the other girls drew back. Marlene took Jemma, Nina, and Amber aside, while Mary hovered closer, pretending to examine a nearby rose bush.

Lily stepped toward James. It was one of the few times they had been so close without a flurry of activity around them – no singing, no drinking, no Quidditch. James realised that her eyes weren't just one shade of green – they were like a rainbow of the emerald colour. The dark red of her hair was mirrored in the elegant arch of her eyebrows. Her pale nose was small and dainty, the flushed skin on either side sprinkled with freckles. Her full pink lips were drawn into a frown. "Well?"

"Well?" James gave a dry cough.

"Is there anything else you have to say? Or is just 'sorry'?"

He did some quick thinking, "Yes. I mean, you're right. I am an 'arrogant, bullying toe-rag.'"

Lily looked at him as though he had grown two heads.

"Um....is that okay?" James swallowed hard, trying not to get lost in her eyes again.

Lily shook her head, dispersing thoughts of running her fingers through that thick, soft hair. "I – I don't know, Potter. I appreciate the apology, but....Sev is really the one you should be apologising to."

"He doesn't deserve it," James clenched his teeth. "Not after what he called you."

"I know he was out of line," her voice wavered. "But I can defend myself. I don't need you playing hero just so you can look good in front of the school."

James wanted to scream. "I don't do these things to look good. I do them because they are good."

"Oh really?" Lily placed her hands on her hips. "So I suppose using an illegal jinx on Bertram Aubrey was the right thing to do?"

"It was sure as hell better than what he was talking about doing to Branwen!"

Lily's eyes dropped. There was an awkward silence.

"Look, Evans...." James began, "I guess I can do better in the way I....the way I express myself. If I can – if I do better, could we maybe –"

"I knew it!" She growled. "This was all just some twisted way to ask me out again!"

"No, no!" James threw his hands up. "I just – ugh, I'm such an idiot!"

Lily offered no argument.

"Why do you want to go out with me so badly?" she whispered.

"Because.... Because you're beautiful. And clever. And funny. And –"

"And what? You don't know anything about me!"

"But I want to!"

"And then what? We go out and then we break up? You just want to brag that you 'bagged' Lily Evans?"

"No!"

"Then what do you want?"

"I....I don't know." He ran his hands through his hair in an entirely unconscious motion. "I mean, Bran, she has things figured out, you know? She know who she loves and what she wants to do with her life. But me, I have no idea. After school....I don't even know if I'll have a life. But if I do, I want to be able to share it with someone."

"Someone other than Black and Pettigrew?" Lily smirked.

He breathed a small laugh. "Yeah. I love the guys, but Sirius tends to smell like wet dog and Peter leaves crumbs all over the place."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll never understand you boys."

"You might if you spent some time with us," James winked, some of his old humour returning. His smile dropped though, before Lily could suspect anything ulterior. "Evans, please. What can I do to get you to talk to me?"

"You can start by not hexing everyone you meet."

"Even if they're being wicked prats?"

A wry smile grew over her face. "I suppose I'll give you a pass if they're being especially savage."

He grinned. "What else?"

"Well....just be a friend."

"A friend?"

She nodded. "When I was with Remus, he talked about your sister all the time. He knew her favourite foods, her favourite songs. He knew which cardigan was her favourite and why it still had jam stains on it. He knew that she skinned her knee when she was seven and you told her she would have to go to St. Mungo's and get it amputated....James, I want someone to know me like that."

He paused. "H-how?"

"Maybe...." she tucked a strand of ginger hair behind her ear, "maybe we could start by being pen-pals. We could write to each other over the summer."

A smile bloomed over James' face. "Yes! Yes, I can do that! Yes!"

Lily's face was quickly turning the same shade as her hair. "All right, then."

She stepped closer and lifted a hesitant hand. Her small thumb gently brushed the wound on his cheek. "Have your sister take a look at that. It's one of Severus' own curses. If he did that....well, I sort of wish you actually had undressed him." In what seemed like a blur, she leaned up onto her tip-toes, kissed his bloodied cheek, then ran off to join her friends.

James turned and began wandering in the general direction of his friends; his eyes were glazed over and his mouth hung wide open. When Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Branwen caught up to him though, he had taken a wrong turn and was meandering toward Professor Kettleburn's house.

"So, Prongs," Sirius threw an arm around his shoulder and redirected him, "how'd it go with Evans?"

"She's agreed to write me over the summer," he said with a dreamy voice.

Peter patted his arm. "Good for you, Prongs."

James blinked suddenly. "Wait....what happened with Snape?"

"Nothing really," Peter shrugged. "He ran off while Feathers was yelling at you."

"Damn coward," Remus whispered under his breath.

As the five of them made their toward the library for some last minute studying, Branwen bumped James' shoulder. "Hey," she smiled. "I'm really happy for you. I know Evans and I aren't best friends, but she definitely makes you smile. And that makes me smile."

"Yeah," James grinned down at her. Then he frowned. "Are you sure you're going to be okay at that wedding next month?"

She shrugged.

"Well, just make sure you stick close to Padfoot. I can't afford to lose my only sister to the dark side."