As bad as we are now

Chapter twelve - babysitting

Calum POV

 I make her get in the car after the big argue, she needs to calm down sometimes, I don't know what that guy said to her but she didn't had to call all this attention on her.

"I'm not feeling that great." she says and leans her head back

"that makes two of us then." I don't even know why am I doing this, why is she in my car and why am I driving her home.

"I meant it... I think I'm going to throw up." she says with a weak voice

"no, no. Not in my dad's car!" I say to her, she looks pale and she has a shiny skin from the sweat, even sick she manages to look beautiful.

"can you go slower?!" she says "I think I'm motion sick."

"no, you're drunk sick. it's a different thing." I give a small giggle and I look at her with a smile, she's crying.  My smile instantly disappears with her silent crying, tears drops fall down her cheek.

"hey. what's wrong?" I slow down the car to look better at her

"nothing... I'm really not feeling good." she cleans her tears with her sleeve

"it's okay. you're going to be fine, we're almost home." I say and she nods

" I mean, I don't know if you're crying because of me or not. but please don't. I'm not worth it. " i say after a while, the words just leave my mouth

"the world doesn't turn around you." she says and silence feels the car for a few good minutes, I guess she really hates me then. maybe is better that way, I don't want to make her feel bad or  feeling insecure like me and my family do right now.

"do you really hate me?" the words leave my mouth and i just want to punch myself , why can help myself from saying stupid things I don't believe

"sometimes." she says and turns her head to face me

"what about the other times you don't hate me?" I press my hands harder on the wheel.

she puts her hair in the back of her ear and says "i hate you less."

"good." I say

"good?"she asks but I don't say anything  "what about you? you don't hate me after all..." she states

"apparently not." I say

"good." she says like I did before and smiles

I park in front of her house and I turn off the car lights making everything pinch black. I wish I could kiss her now, right now. maybe in this pinch black scenario I had the guts to do it and no one will see us. but to be honest she would probably punch me.

"thanks for bringing me home." she opens the passenger door

"yeah, it's alright." I say in a cold voice, still don't like when she drinks it makes me vulnerable.

"ouch. fuck" I hear her groan on the other side, I turn the car lights on and I see her on the floor

"oh shit!" I get out of the car in a fast pace

"you're okay?" I ask her and she is already up

"my hand is bleeding... it burns." she says and closes and opens her hand making it bleed even more

"okay, lets go inside. " i say and i grab her arm

"it's fine. i can take care of myself." she backs away from me " I'm fine. thanks again." she says

"no. I can go with you..." i start walking next to her

"Calum, I said I'm fine. I'll just put a band aid or something." she turns at me but she looks down at her hand