ILLUSION [yoonmin]

File 15: Memories

The next day right after breakfast Jimin decided to shower which he was in need of. He hasn't cleaned himself since they visited Jaesang. he just didn't feel like doing anything, he had thought of ending it all anyway. but he rethought the decision and chose to stay, he was gonna try. So now he should clean himself and start his day with an intention to heal. He will listen to Yoongi and do as he says. it might not all go right immediately. but he will try. He tried to find his way through the bad memories and thoughts he had stored in his head. it was exhausting to think twice and debate if it was the right thing or not for everything he did. Jimin still felt shaken form meeting Jaesang again, but yoongi assured him the other cant hurt him anymore.

"oh?" Jimin said as he showered, he could hear something in the bathroom. with one hand he wiped over the glass t6o clear his view through the fogged glass. But the bathroom was empty, just like it should be. nothing seemed out of place. Jimin turned back around and suddenly a person stood behind him, Jaesang's figure. the boy yelped and slipped luckily he didn't hit anything but fell on his ass. Jimin looked up but there was nothing else ut a stream of water falling down. He shook his head and stood up rubbing his ass which felt hurt. "No Jimin, he isn't here. He can't be. it wasn't real" he told himself. He didn't feel like showering anymore and turned off the shower walking out and grabbing his towel. He carefully dried himself and put on his boxers walking to the mirror in the bathroom.

Jimin looked in the mirror at himself and he dried his hair with the towel while he did so. He could see the scares, they were so visible...Jimin gulped looking at the one on his neck. He remembered those times clearly. his whole body shivered at the memory, but he couldn't push them away. He could feel Jaesang's hands on his hip. Jimin stopped drying his hair and the memories were starting to overwhelm him suddenly. He could feel them again, like he relieved those moments the hand around his neck was burning. Those whip scars on his pack were stinging like he was being hit all over again. "no...no don't touch me, '' Jimin said and lowered his arm, frowning at himself as he backed away from the mirror. In the reflection he could see Jaesang behind him. Jimin let out a short shocked scream and turned around. In a flash he saw Jaesang's figure and he stumbled back against the wall grabbing his wet hair, dropping the towel as he did.

"No no no no" jimin chanted slumping down on the floor pulling his legs up. Those hands were all over him, everything hurted. "stop! stop! stop touching me!" the outgrown blonde boy gripped his hair as he screamed to distract himself from the whisper in his ear. He could hear Jaesang's voice. Calling him those names, telling him all those lies. thing he knew now were bad. things that managed to control him. "Stop!" the boy stood up and hit his head Jaesang's voice got louder. like it came closer. but the other was already here, he was already touching Jimin. It was in his head, but it hurted like it was real. Jimin didn't know what to do. He pinched himself and hit his arm on the sink, but nothing seemed to get his mind out of this hole, he was being dragged further and further. In a desperate attempt he pulled his hair and hit his head against the wall. not realising he bumped his nose which started to bleed, in his hand a few strands of hair.

"P-please" jimin said a few tears rolling down his face. suddenly Jimin's airway got shut and he gasped for air. His hands clawed at his neck as he panicked. He wanted to scream but he couldn't. He couldn't speak, he couldn't make a noise other than his body slumping to the floor when he couldn't stand up. He felt heavy, like a weight was dropped in top of him. Tears started to stream down his face. Jimin was scared... The thought of dying feared him...he really didn't want to die. not now. The voice in his head got louder and the pain over his body got worse, until it all faded and the world turned black.

-

"Yes, I will come pick it up in a bit. I have to talk to him about something now first" yoongi said to his boss who passed by and halted him.