Called (Ryan Ross)

Hedgehogs

I made sure to stay quiet, as I could hear Ryan pacing around. I knew hiding was childish, but he brought that out in me. That weird, child-like curiosity and wonder, as if the world was beautiful again. As if I hadn't been slammed into the cold reality of my world at the age of eleven. I sighed softly. I was too dependant on him. Way too dependant. But I didn't want to pull away, I didn't want to run. I wanted to stay wherever he was, and be able to hold him whenever I could. I stood up, getting off the bed and flung the door open, revealing a surprised looking Ryan. I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He immediately hugged me back, not questioning my odd and sudden need for interaction. Once we seperated, Ryan smiled at me.

"Hey, Dustin called a little bit ago. Said he was having some people over later, and that we could participate if we wanted to."

I tapped the toe of my shoe lightly.

"Did he happen to mention what the night may hold?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow. He had been oddly vague with his description of Dustin's "gathering". I wouldn't put it past Dustin to throw a party for no reason, and not tell me until last second. Ryan rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"He didn't say specifically, but he did mention stopping at Spec's, so I'm assuming there will be alcohol." I sighed irritably. I didn't drink, so I was the designated "sober friend", otherwise known as the friend who had to nurse hangovers the next day, and clean up the drunken mess that will be undoubtably made in our house. That's the way it always has been, me being sober and helping Dustin stumble off to bed, me cleaning up the house of broken beer bottles and spilled wine glasses while Dustin slept off his hangover, and me having to lug hungover friends of Dustin's out of my house, because they had decided to crash on my couch, other than hitch a ride when the party was "over". I say "over", because people will continue to drink and laugh way past when Dustin had said for people to start packing up. I once got up at three fifty to use the bathroom, and found one of Dustin's friends washing the alcohol off of his body in the shower. I had no trouble staying awake after that, as that image was burned into my brain, making it impossible for me to close my eyes and not see drunken man junk. It was a traumatic night.

"Ry, you'll stay with me, right?" I asked, sighing. He nodded immediately. I knew he would if I asked him to. I had actually just ranted to him about that situation this afternoon while we were being lazy in bed. So he knew how much I could use someone around to keep me company while Dustin and his friends were tearing up our house. I didn't need to be traumatized again, thank you.

---

How did I get myself into this mess. I was currently sitting in a circle of people, about to start a drunken session of truth/dare/spin the bottle. I honestly don't know what it was, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. But I did find out that drunk Ryan was very giggly. And touchy. He practically sat on my lap on the couch, a dreamy look on his face. I wrapped one of my arms around him and sighed. Drunk or not, I still loved him. Dustin stood up, hushing the small crowd of people before slurring out:

"Okay! Ooooooooo...kay. We are gonna... we're gonna play truth or dare!" The people cheered loudly, most of them too intoxicated to remember this tomorrow. Dustin clapped twice, and pointed at one of the girls sitting on the floor. She was one of Jade's friends, a nice girl called Jenn. She didn't look quite as drunk as her friends, and met my gaze, smiling slightly as she did. She spoke loudly, as to speak over the drunken mumblings.

"Okay, Jaspar. Truth or dare?" What were we, middle schoolers? I sighed. I hated picking truth, because I hated answering personal questions, but I hated picking dare because I always got terrible dares like, "I dare you to lick a cobweb!", or something equally bad. I felt most of the gaze on me, and I started to feel a bit warm. I felt someone pull me closer to them, and met the dreamy gaze of Ryan. He smiled widely at me, and I smiled back. I then faced Jenn and said confidently:

"Dare." Jenn gave me a thumbs-up, and said clearly:

"I dare you to... make out with Ryan!" Wow, we were really middle schoolers again. I scrunched up my face and whined:

"But he tastes like alcohol!" Jenn shrugged.

"I don't make the rules." I huffed irritably. Alcohol was bitter, gross to me. And if Ryan tasted half as bad as he smelled, this would be awful. I sighed quickly, and grabbed a fistful of Ryan's shirt, taking the giggly boy by surprise. I pressed my lips against his, him deepening the kiss quickly. I was right about the taste. It took nearly all of my control to not gag. After about two minutes, I decided enough was enough and pulled away from the smelly boy, who whined softly in protest. I quickly shushed him and went on with the game, daring Dustin to take another shot with Jade. It was a sucky dare, but I couldn't think of much else. I leaned back up against Ryan and stayed out of the rest of the game. Ryan was too sleepy to play properly anyway, and would occasionally press messy kisses onto my forehead, making me smile.

---

Twelve thirty rolled around, and I started kicking people out. One by one, people were told to call someone to pick them up. I didn't care where they went, but they weren't going to stay here. Dustin was sleepily kissing Jade on the couch, while Ryan had already curled up on the couch and was snoring softly. As I practically shived the last man out the door, I did a quick round about of the house once more, making sure there weren't alcohol soaked men waiting for me in the shower. Thankfully, there wasn't, and I quietly walked back downstairs, careful not to disturb Ryan. Dustin and Jade had made their way upstairs, probably going to Dustin's room to watch a movie or giggle about something stupid. I trekked softly over to Ryan and poked his shoulder.

"Ryan? Ry? Ryhorn? Rycycle? Rydon? Ryro?" I continued to poke him, until he groaned and blinked open his eyes. He yawned and blinked a few more time. I could tell he would need some encouragement, so I helped him up and let him lean on my shoulder going up to my room. His cheeks were still flushed, and he was still a bit giggly, but was too tired to really do anything besides lean heavily against my shoulder. I lead him to bed and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be here in a bit, Ry, I'm just going to take a shower, okay?" He nodded slightly, yawning. I smiled and went into the bathroom, making sure to grab my pajamas on the way in. I started up the shower and took my makeup off. I never wore much makeup, but I had made a slight effort for tonight. After I had thoroughly taken the makeup off, I stepped under the warm water, wetting my hair first so I could wash it. After I had washed my hair, I sighed, leaning against the wall. I thought.

Giving myself time to think was a mistake. Immediately, my mind drifted to my family. My sister, Polly, my mother and father, my cousin, Ash. I hadn't seen any of them in years. I had completely cut off connections with them. My father was in jail, and my mother was probably living in misery, but I would never know for certain. I wasn't going to take the risk of going to see them. It would bring back too many memories. I swallowed hard. Polly was twenty five now. She wasn't little anymore. I hadn't seen her since her eighteenth birthday, which I had come especially for. I had left immediately afterwards, barely saying goodbye to my mother, but making sure to give my sister a proper goodbye. I hated the sadness in her eyes. She had thought I was going to stay. I hated to disappoint her, but I had to. I sighed, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes. Thinking about these things won't make them disappear, I reminded myself. It would only make them more prominant. I turned off the water, and grabbed the towel off of the hook. I wrapped it around myself and dried off fairly quickly, simply wanting to feel the warmth of my boyfriend and curl up into the sheets, hopefully to sleep away my memories. I got dressed, putting on my pajama shorts and t-shirt before turning off the lights and getting into bed. Ryan was already asleep, but I kissed his forehead and murmured a goodnight anyway, before curling up to him and passing out.