How not to write a story when...

...on a long coach journey.

(Title is pretty self-explanatory, myself and two friends created this monstrosity of randomness. I started...)

It was dark that day

that your nan danced

and the vampires bit their enemies.

We were in the middle of london when

a trolley hit us

and put us into an unknown world.

Your nan thought she had finally cracked

an egg,

but really it was her bum bone!

The look on her face as the zombies descended on us will haunt me forever,

just like the time I saw her naked,

or the time the vampires ate her whole!

I shuddered at the thought and decided that fighting the horny fairies would be better.

THEY WERE SO HORNY!

So I got out my sword and started attacking.

They dropped like flies as I released my inner-ninja *kapow!*

Show us your swish at www.makeaswish.com

So I got my video recorder out and recorded it making my swish and put it on the website!

I now have to wait 3 months to find out if they liked it.

I bet they did, my swish was fabulous.

"I am the swish queen, BOW TO ME!"

I yelled loudly. Everyone immediately stopped fighting and looked around googly-eyed.

I love chicken

and chips!

With gravy!

Yummer! I'm so fat!

I now feel very hungry... So I go into the forest!

The trees get closer together and soon the canopies block out the light... I hear a sound.

IT'S PAUL O'GRADY!

NO IT'S NOT ITS KEITH LEMON!

No, wait! It's, it's... Oh :( It's just that sparkly fairy boy Edward Cullen.

HE'S SO GAY!

With all his shiny family too!

They looked at me weirdly, the fuzzy haired one looked like he had constipation as he inhaled, his eyes fixed on me,

So I do a sexy dance!

Every day I'm shufflinf! (8) doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

*cue spontaneous cody rocking to LMFAO*

SEXY!

PARTY IS ROCKING!

*music stops, everyone looks around to see an angry-looking mad-hatter at the CD player*

THE END.

(Nope, I have no idea what happened in that one, either! :/ )