Run of dreams and nightmares (dnf)

No tears left to cry

A/N I'm back! Sorry for the late chapter, I procrastinated this as long as possible. Now here, have some angst.
⚠️trigger warning ⚠️
Swearing
Eating disorder
Self harm

POV Dream
As I drive back to my house, my mind is racing, thinking about George. I put together a list of all the suspicious things I saw.
-He has a massive bloody head wound
-He has panic attacks, probably from trauma
-He seemed tense and anxious when I asked about his wounds
-He flinches when someone touches him
-He seemed to be terrified of me

Ok I think that is all. I put two and two together and came to the conclusion that he was or had been abused. My heart hurts for him. How could someone do that to George? He is sweet, caring, innocent.

He has obviously been through way more trauma in his life than anybody should ever have to experience, and I hate the person that did this to him with a burning rage.

I think back to my quick conversation with Nick about George and his head wound, and I remember telling him that I would find the person that did this to George. That statement still stands, even more so now.

Wait, I forgot to ask Nick and Zak about the run. Then I realize that they might have not mated anybody yet, as the run is over in about an hour. When it officially ends I will text them and ask them how it went. Before I know, I am in my driveway.

I go to tap George to let him know that we are here, but, remembering his anxiety at being touched I opt to tell him instead.

"We are here." I say softly. I know that he is in a very fragile state of mind right now, so I make sure to make my voice as soft and kind as possible.

He slowly opens the car door, still sniffling and wiping away tears. I feel my heartbreak all over again. I will help him recover. I will show him love.

I hold out my hand, offering it to him. He looks at it for a moment then looks back at the ground, hands by his side. I sigh, disappointed. "Follow me." I say. "I will show you around the house and bring you to your room." He nods, still looking at the floor.

He walks after me into the house, and I hear a small gasp. A small smile shows up on my face, "Like the house?" I say. I'm gonna be honest, my house is by no means small. I am very rich, and I love in a mansion. That seems like it would be awesome, but because I had no one else living in it with me, that meant that I have this big, empty house that takes hours to clean. It was a pain in the ass. But now I have Georgie.

I look over at him and see the amazement in his eyes. His mouth is wide open and gaping, his eyebrows raised. I chuckle lightly, and he puts his head down in embarrassment upon hearing me laugh at his surprise.

"Ok so this is the living room." I say, leading him through the mansion. "And this is the kitchen....." The entire time I am showing him around he is looking around with an expression of complete and utter awe.

I inwardly chuckle, not wanting embarres him again. It is nice to see George happy for once, considering the only times I've seen his is when he was crying, having a panic attack, or drowning.

My smile fades slightly as I think back to when I found him almost dead in the pond. What happened to him? People don't just walk into ponds and not get out, and he didn't just not see it, as it was obvious that he knew his way around the area.

I'll have to ask him about that later. I finish up the tour by walking up the stairs and showing him his room, which is right next to mine. I didn't think it was possible for him to looking more amazed than he already was, but he managed to surprise me once again.

He looks around the room in disbelief, then looks back to me and says," This is my room?" I smile and say, " Yep. Feel free to get comfy. I know it is kinda bare and plain, but I planned for us to go to the mall tomorrow to get you some clothes and things to decorate your room, ya know? Make it you."

He slowly nods and walking into the room, looking around at everything suspiciously. I don't blame him. He obviously has a troubled past, so I expected him to have trust issues. Now I just have to get him to trust me.

POV George
I flop down on the bed, thoroughly exhausted from the day's activities. As I lay on the soft mattress, staring at the ceiling, the realization of what has happened to me is finally setting in. I'm mated.

I would cry but I have no tears left, so I just sit on my bed, numb. I prefer the sadness and tears to the numbness, I hate feeling numb. I would rather feel anything than feel numb.

I glance over at my wrist, seeing the faded red marks there. A constant reminder of my weakness. So desperate to feel something, anything, that I hurt myself.

I have been clean for around four months now, but in this new situation I don't know if I can keep that up.

I got used to the constant pain of living with my dad that when I'm not in pain I feel empty. I need the pain, I crave it.

I slowly walking to the bathroom that is connected to my room and frantically search for a razor blade in the drawers. I smile, seeing the shiny silver that will soon be stained with red.

I lock the door and collapse on the floor, staring at the blade. Do I really want to do this? I have been clean for so long. Do it. The blade moves slightly closer to my wrist, my willpower wavering. You know you want to. "I need it." I mutter, tears streaming down my face.

My vision is blurry as I make the first cut in four months. My tears intensity as I realize what I have done. But once I made the first cut, I couldn't stop.

I made around 15 cuts until the voices were satisfied with my pain. After sitting on the floor staring at my bloody wrist, I realize that I need to bandage the cuts and go downstairs and socialize, otherwise he will be suspicious. I look around for some gauze or bandages, and find them in the cabinet to the right of the sink.

I slowly wrap my wrist, grimacing in pain. Exiting the bathroom, I throw on a long sleeve shirt and a black hoodie for good measure, so that if the bandages get soaked through it hopefully won't shoe through the hoodie. I hurry down the stairs, worried that I had taken to long in my room.

I approach the couch in the living room, where I see the alpha sitting down and watching tv. I realize that I don't even know his name. I am living with him and I don't know his name. I ponder for a second, deciding on how I want to address him. I decide on saying, "Hey"

POV Dream/clay
I was just sitting on my couch flipping through some random tv channels, uninterested in all of them. The only thing on my mind was George. What is taking him so long in his room? Then I hear a small voice say, "Hey." I turn my head around, smiling when I see him standing there awkwardly.

I pat the couch next to me, beckoning for him to sit next to me. My smile slightly fades when I see him hesitantly sit on the very edge of the couch, as far away from me as possible.

He is obviously very tense, so I let it be. Checking my watch I realize that it is well last dinner time and that he is surly hungry by now. "I'll start making dinner. What do you want?" I say to him.

POV George
When I hear him ask what I want to eat I tense up even more. I can't eat, I am already fat enough! He is probably just making me food so that he can fatten me up and make fun of me even more.

"I'm not hungry. I practically ate an entire deer in the woods before you found me." I say. "Ok" I hear him say. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

Thank god he accepted my excuse. It is going to be really hard to hide the fact that I don't eat from him. My dad didn't really care what I did, as long as I didn't bother him.

It would also be hard to hide the self harm. I sighed, oh well. I might as well go back up to my room. I walk up the stairs into my room collapsing on my bed, wrists aching. Today fucking sucked.

A/N Whoooo that was a long one. Hope you liked the angst, and good night.

1585 Words