The Snake of Wall Street | Theodore Nott

CHAPTER 32: THEO

Maybe I shouldn't have kept it hidden this long.

But I think I had fallen out of love without meaning to. She said it was too late. She got her point across pretty clearly.

Her name is Emily Vella. I met her when I was at a pub drinking away my feelings. She was absolutely beautiful, golden skin, honey brown eyes and dark long hair.

I felt guilty at first. Even finding another girl beautiful felt like I was cheating. But then I remembered I wasn't even in a relationship. Not anymore.

Talking with Emily was easy, I didn't struggle with what to say, I didn't have to avoid certain topics. I could just have a lighthearted conversation with her. It felt freeing.

That's why I never went home much. I just stayed in hotels. Because everything I felt for Emily vanished the second I saw Ivory. Completely vanished.

When I told Emily about my living situation she called it 'sweet' how i'm offering all this support to Ivory. I don't think it's sweet at all, I think I just want her for myself.

That's why I offered to take her home, give her the choice. And she chose to stay.

Well up until I told her about Emily. I wished we could've talked. I would've told her that if she picked me again i'd drop everything for her.

That Emily was nothing compared to her.

But like Ivory never talks about her feelings, she left. She always leaves. Why is she always leaving me? This time i'm not going to chase after her.

So I took Emily more seriously. She met all my friends. They all loved her, she was kind, compassionate and just so genuine. It was like holding a ray of sunshine.

Hell I even met her family, her mother called me 'sweetheart' and her father even likes me.

Valentine's day was awkward for me. It was Ivory's birthday. And i'm taking Emily out to dinner tonight. I hardly think about Ivory, only on special dates like her birthday.

Pansy invited us all to a Valentines group dinner so that definitely took the pressure off of me and planning a romantic date

"So Emily how's the teaching going?" Roman asked her

"Pretty good, I had them all make Valentine's day cards" she smiled and sipped her wine

"Dunno how you teach little kids, I hate them" Blaise laughed and Luna nudged him playfully

"I actually just got offered a better job in america, writing a book but I turned it down, love children too much"

I think my heart is planted in America right now.

"Ive always wanted to go to America, my friend always spoke highly about it" Draco said, he referred to Ivory as his friend

"Ive been, to New York, it's only fun if you're rich, besides New York is basically Livingston property, look at a one of them the wrong way and you're dead meat"

I dropped my fork. I may have never told her Ivory's last name. This is very awkward.

Pansy raised her eyebrow at me "One of our best friends is Ivory Livingston actually"

I never hated Pansy more. Emily turned to me "Wait the Ivory is a Livingston?"

Roman howled with laughter followed by Blaise

"Yeah"

Emily frowned slightly and finished off her wine "How is she doing?" She asked. Is this a test to see if i've been talking to her?

Pansy spoke "She doing good, she wrote to me yesterday, she just bought a new house" Why didn't Pansy tell me any of this?

I pushed down all those thoughts about Ivory. She was no longer mine nor was I hers. And we just have to live with those facts.

I was happy. I look at Emily and i'm happy. So fucking happy.

I think i'm getting too old to go back and forth with someone. I came to the realization that I should be with someone who doesn't turn her back and walk away.

Emily doesn't walk away.

So the months passed and the more time passed the less I thought about Ivory. Emily was all I thought about.

By summer she had moved into the manor, I told her all about the magical world, no secrets.

I sealed off Ivory's room, part of me thought she would come back, if she did, everything would be perfect for her.

I make Emily Ivory's favorite breakfast, because maybe one day Ivory will walk in and then she'll be forced to stay for a meal. A meal with me.

"Those painting in our room, they're beautiful"

I swallowed "Ivory drew them actually" No lies. No secrets

"Was she just naturally good at everything?" She asked I could sense the attitude

"Yes" I shrugged, she was absolutely perfect.

She looked away. I don't even know why I said that or why I still have her painting everywhere

"Em, I love you"

She squeezed my hand "I know, I love you too"

The following day I took down all the painting. I cleaned the room and threw away all her things.

By christmas I allowed her lilies to die. I didn't shield them. I watched from the window and remembered just a year ago how she would water her plants.

I guess this time it was my fault. I had gone out and looked for someone else. I should have gave her all the time in the world. I should have helped her get better.

But no. I'm like my father. I only cared about how I was feeling, hurt that she no longer wanted me, so hurt that I ignored her cries for help. Again.

So many things I did wrong. I can see it all so clearly now. And it's too late.

I remembered what it felt like to wrap my arms around her, to hear her laugh, to just looking into those eyes and see all the stars inside of them.

Loving someone isn't enough. I love Ivory with everything inside of me. So fiercely, but I didn't wait for her. I gave up on her. Love couldn't save us. Because I was broken, twisted and hurt.

She walks away. She always does.

And I usually am the one who shoves her out the door.

I can't sleep without dreamless night.