Falling Apart (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty-Two

I know, I know. You guys hate me. It's taken forever for me to post this up and when I did post it, it is utter crap! The chapter is short and sucky and just totally BLAH. You can bash on me all you like in the comments, but I shall try to make the next chapters better. No promises though. 

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I was actually really happy for once. After having Tanner, I pretty much just stayed home and took care of him all day. Cash was always busy and I didn't work, so I had nothing to do.

But I had just spent the day with Cash's cousins, Andi, Victoria and Maureen while he was home for once, taking care of the baby. To be honest, I was a little worried about leaving him alone with Tanner, but I knew he would be okay.

When Andi dropped me off, I kissed her cheek and waved by as she turned her expensive car around to go back out of the neighborhood. I held my shopping bags in my hand and put in the key, opening the door slowly. It was quiet inside and I didn't want to risk waking Tanner if he was asleep.

"Cash?" I called softly, closing and locking the door behind me. I put the bags down and walked through the living room to the kitchen. No one there.    

Getting a little worried, I hurried up the stairs, looking into the nursery first. It was empty. My heart stopped.

"Tanner? Cash?" my voice was a little louder now.

I walked slowly to my closed bedroom door, a feeling of dread creeping up my spine. I reached out and slowly opened the door, peering in.

And I felt like I could finally breathe again.

It was Cash and Tanner. My husband was sleeping, wearing sweatpants and no shirt, chest rising and falling as he breathed in and out. I could see the muscles of his upper body and I bit my lip to keep from sighing out loud. He was gorgeous.

But what had really made my heart melt was my baby boy, curled up in a blue blanket, next to his father, obviously sleeping as well. There was a pillow on the other side of him to prevent him from falling and his tiny fists were next to his face, pink lips pouted as he slept.

Unable to help myself, I silently padded over to the bed and stripped out of my dress, putting on shorts and a tee shirt. I moved the pillow out of the way and lay down next to Tanner carefully, as to not jostle him.

Across from me, Cash's eyelids fluttered until his eyes opened. He smiled drowsily when he saw me and his hand reached over Tanner, palm resting on my cheek. "How was your day with the girls?" he whispered, sleep still heavy in his voice.

"It was nice." I turned my head to kiss his palm.

The tips of his fingers feathered over my cheeks. "Good." His eyes fell shut again and I reached up to hold his hand as I drifted off to sleep as well.

-

"Hey," Pierce said, meeting me at the door with Tanner in his arms. "How was work?" He took my bag from me and set it down by the door, not pausing a single beat before he pulled me into his warm embrace.

I smiled as I looked at my son who I just noticed was asleep on Pierce's shoulder. I touched his smooth cheek with my fingertips before raising my head to lightly touch my lips to Pierce's, intimately. "The diner was busy today, but work was fine. What about you?" I asked, slipping an around his back and resting my head against his chest.

"The garage was slow. Ray had it covered, so I thought I'd come home early today," he said, smiling at me with eyes that were as deep and open as the ocean as I stroked my knuckles lovingly over his stubbled jaw.

The truth was, Pierce had been coming home early almost every day since I'd miscarried our baby a month ago. He was always hovering around me, keeping me out of danger's way, being sweet and gentle instead of hard and passionate. I guess he was still worried about me. I would be annoyed at his persistent behavior, but I loved that he was so caring.

I honestly didn't grieve much for the baby though. I never got a chance to really love it...him or her. Here and there, I'd feel a twinge of sorrow and guilt. I'd imagine a gorgeous black haired, green eyed baby. But it'd be brief and would pass as soon as it'd come.

"I'm starving," I declared, changing the subject. "Is there anything to ear?" I asked, brushing my hand over Tanner's honey locks before moving on to the kitchen. There was an untouched sandwich on the table. "Is this for me?"

"Yeah, just made it. Let me put Tanner to bed and I'll join you," Pierce called. His footsteps became distant and then I heard a door open before closing a few minutes later. By the time he was back, I was finished with a quarter of the sandwich. "Woah, slow down," he laughed, sitting on the chair across from me.

"I'm starving," I said again, through my mouthful of food. My words probably sounded like gibberish.

"I can tell," he said, smiling at me. My eyes softened at the sweet, adoring look on his face. It was surreal that Pierce loved me...It was still hard to believe that utter devotion he had for me. It made me feel like I was on top of the world. It was the way Cash used to make me feel when we first began to date. I didn't know what changed, but I was beginning to accept it. We had divorced and I'd lost a love, a husband and my child's father, but that had resulted in me finding Pierce again.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” I asked, reaching over with my free hand and linking our fingers. “Unless you already ate,” I said.

“I already ate,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I was thinking that maybe we could ask your parents to babysit Tanner tomorrow…I want to take you out,” he said, kissing my palm. “You up for it?” he asked.

“I’m up for it,” I smiled at him lovingly, finishing my sandwich and walking around to sit on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. Since the miscarriage, he’d been so cautious with me, unwilling to initiate anything intimate. I so wanted that to change because I’d always loved how passionate Pierce was when it came to making love.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me closer. My body tingled as his lips dragged down over my jaw to my neck. I sighed with pleasure and dropped my head back, closing my eyes. He felt so good. He was my love, personified.

“I love you, you know,” I breathed. “I’m so glad I found you again.” I put my palms against each of his cheeks and tilted his head back up so I could kiss him again. His lips were firm under mine, sweet but masculine at the same time.

“I love you more,” he replied, standing up from the chair easily with me still in his arms. “Let me show you just how much…”

Pleasure trilled through me and I smiled at him as he carried me to the bedroom. Where he showed me just how much he loved me.