Seasick - Jaeden Martell X Reader

Infinity (maybe forever // never)

Last night was...everything.
And nothing, all at once.
I can see a past and a future with him, as if we've met before.
And maybe we have.
Maybe there's an alternate universe where we are madly in love, where we aren't just two teenagers, where this isn't just a vacation.
But it doesn't matter, because in the end- I held his hand and he held mine. We were there, in that already bittersweet moment, knowing that we only really have these next few days together.
A million thoughts passed through my mind, but all that matters is him. Us. This infinitive moment.

. . .

I woke up actually feeling awake. For once I didn't have to fight the urge to crawl back into bed. To pull covers over my head, and let the morning pass in front of me. I got up, and made my bed. Opened my windows. Did my full skincare routine. Made a beautiful, healthy, breakfast. I don't feel half-present, I'm here. I'm alive and living, and this is my life.

"Good morning sunshiiine!" Yawns Liam, coming out of his room wearing only pajama shorts that have little pineapples on them.

"Good morning dummy, is Jess up yet?" I ask, passing him a glass of orange juice, and then prepping a plate. He pulls out a stool and gulps down the juice happily.

"Not sure, I didn't check."

"Well, if you see her, tell me," I say, grabbing my phone and headphones, "I'm going on a run, so behave."

"Of course of course," he says, smiling and winking.

. . .

The elevator is empty, so I decide to pop in earbuds early. I put my playlist on shuffle, and decide that I need my god complex playlist this morning

(PEEP THE SPOTIFY: m0le_rat)

The weather is beyond beautiful today, a perfect 75 degrees and sunny. I don't feel bad about my bare face and the fact that I'm in Liam's biker shorts and Jessica's tank top, I just start running.

I've always struggled with mental illnesses, and running is one of my main ways of coping with my anxiety. Instead of self-harm, or other bad habits that result from me not being able to control my thoughts, I just listen to music and push myself. Running, and exercise in general, can be very hard to keep up with when my depression gets really bad- it's hard enough to even get out of bed, or eat, or drink. Some other replacement coping mechanisms I like to lean on are guitar, ukulele, piano, and art in general- but I couldn't bring my guitar with me on this trip since it costs so much to check bags,

I also try to meditate and manifest as often as I can, even though that can be hard to keep up with too.
I think about everything I'm grateful for as I run, my mind wondering over to my friends.

I've known Jessica since we were 13. We weren't even friends when we first met, we were actually the opposite. We were so alike that everyone assumed we were friends, and it made us not ever want to talk to each other and we ended up competing for months before we realized how absolutely stupid we were being. She's seen me at my absolute worst. From panic attacks to the most painful break-ups, Jess always has a way of showing up in a way that motivates you. She would hold my hand, but make me stand and fix things.

And then there's Liam.
Liam and I have known each other only since we were 15, and only because Jess brought us together, but I don't know of another guy I could possibly trust more than him. A lot of our school actually bullied him, thinking he was gay just because he's confident with his gender enough to wear certain clothes and sometimes makeup.
Him and Jess aren't dating, even though it's blatantly obvious they're in love. Like painfully obvious. I don't exactly know why though, I can say for certain that they both know that the other person likes them, but just both chooses to ignore it.
I guess ignorance can be bliss for some people though.
But not me, not today.

. . .

I get home a little before 10, taking off my sandy shoes and hopping in the elevator again, taking my hair out of it's tight ponytail, annoyed by the one piece that feels a little too tight. I can already hear that the boys are over before I even open the door.

"Is that Y/f/n Y/l/n?" Finn yelled from the kitchen, running, and sliding, over to me.

His hair is a wild mess of chocolate brown curls, and I'm pretty sure he's had one-to-many cups of coffee. We grabs my hand and drags me into the kitchen, and then everyone goes to talk at once.

"Y/n! I swear, I have no idea how, but I think I forgot how to make my bed.." Jess starts, "wait, is that MY tank top? Who gave you permission to wear that?"

"Well I mean I am practically your maid, your clothes should my my clothes," I smile back.

"Okay but, Y/n in a maid outfit," Finn smirks, looking me quickly up and down.

I am now very VERY aware of how tight this tank top is, and how short these shorts are. Jack and Jaeden sit at the kitchen table, playing another round of connect 4. Jack looks smug, leaning back in his chair and looking at Jaeden with a hint of pity. Jaeden's eyes are squinted, as if looking at it hard and long enough could possibly help him win. He's beyond beautiful, sitting in that floral-print chair, his hair covering his eyes to the point that he has to keep readjusting it. His eyebrows scrunched and focused. His posture absolutely horrid.

And then he looks up at me.

In that exact moment, I, Y/f/n Y/l/n, gave Jaeden Martell my whole heart.

"Hey, wanna watch Jack beat me?" He asks sweetly, pointing to the chair next to him.\

I smile, and nod.

Author's Note: Hey shawty baes! Glad you made it to the end of this chapter! I will be updating this regularly (I know some of you doubted me), so don't worry about getting too invested. Do you like the flow of this chapter more than the last one? Give me some feedback, and anything specific you want to see happen/any characters you want more of. I'm so proud of you! I love you! Sleep well! <3