A Life Wasted

9/11 Terrorist Attacks

After my early morning rude awakening I slept for a few more hours, then woke rested and hungry. I carried a supply of liquid fuel for a small portable stove, but planned on using it only when necessary. I was far enough off the Appalachian Trail that I wasn't too concerned about the smell or smoke from a small fire, so I gathered dry wood and built a small smokeless fire. I boiled a pot of water then made a cup of instant coffee and a bowl of oatmeal. You always forget something, and I found myself wishing I had thought to bring a few pounds of butter.

After I ate I dug through my pack and pulled out my small portable TV. I was close enough to Harrisburg for TV reception so I wanted to catch the news while I still could. I didn't expect any news about myself, but needed to check. Plus, I like watching the news, so I had the TV for that small indulgence. The TV, like everything I had that used batteries, ran on AA batteries. I kept everything uniform for convenience, but also because I had two small AA battery rechargers. The rechargers started life as a pair of landscape lights I found at a Home Depot. The small plastic detachable top of the light held two AA batteries and had a solar panel on top. After snipping the wires that led to the light I had a perfect portable AA battery charger. For this reason, all my batteries were rechargeable AA's.

I ate, let my small fire die out and worked on my morning coffee when I turned on my small TV with a 2" screen. The first thing I saw was a tall building on fire. I didn't think much of this so I laid the TV down and dug out my ear buds. The TV had a small speaker but I had trouble hearing well so I preferred the ear buds. When I plugged them in and looked at the TV I began to understand what was happening in New York City. The news announcer said that a small plane had accidentally flown into the World Trade Center. Now I was paying close attention because, like every pilot who has flown through Kennedy Center (the Air Traffic Control hub for New York City) I knew that no plane had accidently flown near those buildings, much less into one of them.

Looking at the raw footage of the side of the building, I also knew that it wasn't damage caused by a small plane. Planes are made of aluminum and are light by design. I could almost hear other pilots around the world shaking their heads and saying, no, you've got it wrong. That was a large plane and it was no accident. I was thinking this when the second plane hit.

I had planned to hike further south that day, still concerned about putting more distance between the place I started the hike, just in case. But I couldn't move. I couldn't think about my own circumstances. What I really wanted to do was to call home to comfort my family and to find comfort in them. That day was the loneliest day of my life. Sitting out there alone in the woods with that little TV was torture. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be with my family, but if I couldn't be with them then I wanted to be with strangers. I needed to mourn with others. I needed to share how I felt with another person. Any person. But that was not to be. I built a big fire to warm me and sat there in stunned silence, burning through AA batteries watching the news all day and all night.

The big buck never returned.