To Have and to Hold - Bucky Barnes (TFATWS)

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"Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically." This drew some laughs from the crowd.  "The world has been  forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into rejoicing but also turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing-" He picked up the shield.  "-I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up, and he's gone. So today we honour Steve's legacy, but also we look to the future. Thank you, Captain America. For everything. But this belongs to you."

On that note, after taking one last long look at the shield, Sam handed it over to gloved museum staff who safely placed it behind the glass of the display case and locking it up. Sam stepped down from the podium.

"Agent." Rhodey approached Carina as the crowd dispersed following Sam's speech.

"Colonel Rhodes." They shook hands.

"So I hear you're going by 'Carina' now," Rhodey said.

She nodded. "Yup, my real name, as I always should have. Ah, there he is," she said as Sam made his way over, and embraced him in a hug.

"Hey, thanks for coming."

"Of course, definitely wanted to be here for this." 

"Think I'm doing the right thing?"

"Steve gave it to you, trusted you with it. I think he would have supported your choice."

"Thanks, Carina." He looked around.  "No Bucky?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"Figured, otherwise he'd be at your side watching like a hawk."

"Yeah, we're like each other's body guards. I wanted him to come with me but he didn't want to so, just me."

"Well thank you, I'm glad you're here."

"Of course, Sam. I think the shield is a great addition to the exhibit."

"Yeah, I think so too." 

---------------------------------------

"How was it?" Bucky asked when she returned from her quick trip to D.C.

"Good, Sam did a very nice speech. And the shield's in the Steve exhibit so it's fitting. Sam was very appreciative that I was there, and he asked about you."  Bucky just mumbled something, making her roll her eyes.  "How was Dr. Raynor?"

"The same. She thinks I'm clinging too much to what's familiar, meaning you, which is natural in unfamiliar situations."

"Yeah, definitely makes sense."

"But she thinks I should step out of my comfort zone more."

"Like stop ignoring Sam."

"I'm not ignoring Sam."

"You're definitely ignoring Sam.  You've said like three words to him in months." Again, more mumbling from him.  "Well, did you tell her about Yori? You're making some friends-"

She was cut off suddenly by what sounded like a choked sob. Whirling around, she found Bucky leaning over the table, hand pressed over his mouth trying to do just that, choke back a sob.  

"Buck!" She was at his side in an instant.  "Did something happen?"

"I killed his son, Carina," he managed to stutter out. "On a mission, several years ago.  He saw me take out some enemies of HYDRA, so I had to kill him too. Leah, the waitress at the restaurant we always meet at, said it was nice that I was spending time with him. She said, you lose a spouse you're a widow, you lose your parents you're an orphan, but there's no word for when a parents loses a child.  I  did that to him. I tried to tell Yori, he's next on my amends list, but I couldn't, I just couldn't.   I remember him. I remember all of them."