Back in the Saddle

The Part Where Louis Talks

Charlie

"Jessica Ackermann!" I yell, entering her apartment.  I'm glad she decided to move to Boston and make nice with Dad.  Now I can bother her everyday.

        Jess, my wonderful sister who looks nothing like me, should be at home.  It's the weekend, therefore she doesn't work.  And her wonderfully hot boyfriend, Louis, should be here.  That's kind of why I'm here.  Louis is nice to look at.  Unfortunately, he met Jess before he met me, so I'm outta luck.  But that doesn't mean I can't check him out.  Well, sure, if they ever get married, it might make things a little awkward, but I'm sure I can get over it.  I've gotten over plenty.

        "Charlie?" she calls from the kitchen.

        "No, it's the serial killer from the basement; I've stolen your sister's voice and key.  Now I'm here.  Boo," I say sarcastically.  I love sarcasm.  I don't know where I'd be without it.

        I join my sister in the kitchen.  "I hate to say leave, but you need to leave," Jess says.

        "Well thanks," I say.  "Nice to see you, too."

        "No, it's not that... Louis is coming over soon."

        "All the better!" I say happily, sitting down in a chair.

        "Charlie, c'mon... Don't you have other people to bother?" Jess asks.

        "Nope," I say.

        And then there's a knock on the door.  Oh, good.  Here's Louis!  "Leave!" Jess hisses.

        "Too late, now," I reply.

        Jess rolls her eyes and goes to answer the door.  Louis greets her with a kiss, but he seems worried about something.  The two join me in the kitchen.  "Hi, Louis," I say brightly.

        "Hey, Charlie," he says absently, giving me a tight smile that really brings out his cheekbones.

        "Yeah, Charlie was just leaving," Jess says.

        Louis doesn't seem to be listening.  "It's been awhile, Jess," he states.

        "I know," she agrees, sounding almost pissed off.  "Several months.  Why?"

        He sighs.  "I've been at home–"

        "With her?" she asks.

        "No, no.  She left me.  That's what I gotta talk to you about."

        What?  Who's she?  Is there some Jess-Louis drama I'm missing out on?  Why haven't I known about this?

        "I'm sorry, babe," he says to Jess.  They seem to have forgotten that I'm here.  "But that day that I got home from here, back in August, she was with Janet and she told me she knew about you.  I tried to play it off like I didn't know what she was talking about, but... It didn't work.  She was staying with Janet, but now she's totally lost it."

        Jess frowns.  "Isn't this a good thing?  She's outta the picture now?"

        "It doesn't feel so great to be cheated on," I chirp, frowning slightly.

        Jess and Louis ignore me.  "Yeah, I guess," Louis says, not looking at Jess.  "But... She's gone insane.  That's the only logical explanation."

        "What happened?" I ask.

        They still ignore me, but Louis chooses to answer.  "Back in August one day, she came over to get all of her stuff.  I asked her where she was going; if she was still staying at Janet's, but she said she wasn't.  Here's the mental part: she told me that she was going on tour with a band.  She met someone else that's really nice; he's in this band!"

        "What band?" I ask.

        "I don't remember who it was, if I heard the name I'd know it, but the band was called Aerosmith. She told me she was leaving whenever they came to Massachusetts next, which happened to be the day before New Years Eve.  Is that not totally mental?" he asks, almost hysterically.

        But I was still stuck on Aerosmith.  "Aerosmith?" I ask, incredulous.

        "Yeah!" he exclaims.  Jess had fallen silent, so now it was like Louis was talking to me.  Which is totally okay, by the way.

        "Steven Tyler," I say instantly.

        Louis snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up.  "That's him."

        "No shit..." I mutter.

        "What?" Louis asks.

        "Nothing," I say.