Chapter 34

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"There is a First, There is a Last"

"There is a First, There is a Last"

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    I have to do this. I don't want to, but I have to. And it's not selfish, because I'm not doing this for myself. But for Vince.

I could never tell him about the gang - and their leader. And the fact that I actually took part in helping the FBI's target during the last few months. That would devastate him. And that is the last thing I want to happen.

But for some reason, I can't walk away from Rio.

And of course I'm not choosing one over the other - I just can't keep lying to Vince.

In conclusion, I know I could put that part of my life behind me, this development between Rio and I, and that would possibly save my relationship with Vince. There would no longer be anything I'd have to hide from him.

But I... can't. It's not simple - and it kills me that I don't know why.

I care about Vince.

But I see the good in Rio.

And I care about him, too.

That is the prominent reason for what I am about to do.

So here it goes.

I swallow the knot in my throat.
Sitting down on my living room couch in wait, I find myself incessantly tapping a finger against my crossed legs, nervously.

I've been staring at the front door for minutes. And I'm only reminded that time surely isn't stopping on my account from the constant tick-tock sounding from the clock hanging next to the door.

I made the call just over half an hour ago, so Vince should be walking through that door any moment. I told him I wanted to talk to him to get him over here - which at least wasn't a lie.

And while I attempted to sound unusually serious over the phone, he made it insanely more difficult as I picked up on the mere excitement lingering behind his deep voice of wanting to see me.

I clench my jaw, instinctively dropping my gaze down to my lap. There's an unwelcoming twist in my gut.

I feel like this is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt him. Well I'm hoping so, anyway.

Too suddenly, the sound of my doorbell being rung causes for my attention to jolt ahead towards my front door again.

My heart immediately races as it feels like everything within me sinks. But I force myself to ignore it as I quickly come to a firm stand on my own two feet.

I take in a shaky breath, before tentatively stepping towards the door.

And stopping in my tracks for one silent moment, now just centimeters from the door's wooden surface, I gently rest my forehead against the surface that separates Vince's body from mine.

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