EMOTIONAL DISTANCE

July

Adrienne looked older. Or Paul's perspective had changed now that he had a phone full of new contacts who were all his age. Her bag was new. It was leather and corporate-looking, and she was dressed professionally even though it was a Saturday.

She thought he looked exactly the same.

"I don't know what's weirder," she said as they walked out of the coffee shop with their iced coffees. "Seeing you after two months or the fact that we don't have to stand on six-feet markers anymore."

"The second one," Paul said even though he thought the first.

"I'd say the first," she said.

"Mmm." He bit on the straw while she picked a spot for them on the concrete wall. She could've picked any of the free tables but it felt too formal.

"What's up?" she asked. She was trying to sound nonchalant.

"What's up with you?" he asked back. The wall forced them to sit sideways to see each other properly.

"Just work. Except now I can go into the office a few times a week."

"Oh yeah?" asked Paul. "Some face to face time. That's good."

She brought the straw of her coffee to her lips and said, "Yeah. I was getting pretty lonely." She took a sip and looked at the ground as if the comment wasn't supposed to mean anything.

Paul's phone buzzed twice. He was in a WhatsApp group text with some of the people he met at orientation, including the cute blonde from North Carolina—her name was Nicole. He took out his phone and read the texts, then he thumbed a response and put the phone away.

"Rude," Adrienne said. Her lip lifted up slightly.

"Sorry." He made a grand gesture of interlacing his fingers and placing them slowly onto his lap. "Do you want to say something or are we going to just pretend this isn't awkward."

"Being a dick already?" she said under her breath. She shook her head.

"I have a right."

"You didn't have to come."

"Yeah, I didn't."

"But you did."

"Yeah, I did."

They stared at each other. Adrienne wanted another sip of her coffee but she refrained just so she wouldn't break the stare.

Paul broke first. "I'm still not over you."

She didn't expect him to say that. "Give it a few more weeks."

He stifled a laugh. "Okay," he said. "Do you miss me?"

"Yes." She drank her coffee, adding more fuel to her already heightened heart rate. "It's been lonely, like I said."

"But you see your coworkers now."

"Yeah."

"No dates with flirty baristas?" He tried to sound lighthearted.

She didn't answer or laugh. After a pause, she asked, "Excited for college?" She shook her head and smirked to herself. "The girls are going to go crazy over you."

"No they won't."

"You kidding? You can cook, you're sweet, you're..." she looked him in the eyes, "Very cute."

"Do I snore?"

The question threw her. "Not that I remember. But I'm a deep sleeper. Though, I still don't remember hearing you snore in the morning."

She always woke up before he did. Paul regretted asking because now they were talking about their relationship—the one that didn't exist anymore. He had slept in her queen-sized bed, with a pillow to himself and no way of getting pins and needles. He had woken up to the smell of coffee or the sound of water running, and Adrienne's smile. Her smooth skin. Her lips. Her home had felt like his home.

Paul reached out and touched Adrienne's knee. She felt this sudden rush like she was melting. She put her hand on top of his and rubbed her thumb along his soft skin.

He moved the coffee cup that he had placed between them and scooted closer to her. They were touching arms and shoulders. She leaned her head against his. Her mouth was incredibly dry and her body was tingling all over. She could smell his coffee breath.

"I really want to kiss you," he whispered.

She didn't answer. She wanted him to kiss her but she couldn't go through hurting him all over again. Hurting herself.

He took her silence as an approval and turned to kiss her. She leaned away from him. He flared his nostrils to fight back tears.

"So it's really over," he said.

"I think so," she said.

The End.

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*Photo by https://unsplash.com/@iyamiphotography