Wild Heart ⋆ Riordanverse¹

xx. friends in high places

xx. friends in high places

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WHEN THEY GET BACK TO THE SHIP, THEY'RE SILENT. Thea grips the railing and stares at the horizon until the sun burns her eyes, hoping that it will burn a hole straight through her head and she will never have to deal with what happened. Because that is easier. She won't have to think about how much she aches for that fantasy world, how much she aches just to see her mother again.

That's the worst part, because the siren's song had been everything she wants and painfully accurate. Her mother looked like how she imagines, four years older, yet still the fierce woman she had always been. And she had said she made Thea's favorite even though she herself hated kimchi—something she only did when Thea was upset—and gods is she upset. She is so upset she could throw herself into the ocean and let it drag her into the depths. Maybe whatever was in her dream days before would grab her and let her die.

Nope. She isn't doing that. She has a job to do, she has to find the Fleece, and she isn't going to make an even bigger fool of herself in front of Percy and Annabeth. They don't need to see her sob into their arms, it's weak and stupid.

But it felt nice. Really, really nice.

After nearly ten minutes of her worries eating her alive, she makes her way over to Percy, who is sitting by Annabeth, neither of them talking.

"I just—I have one thing to ask," she says as she takes a deep breath to steady herself. "Did you see it?"

Percy's shoulders droop. "Yeah. I grabbed you and I saw it—I didn't mean to, it just happened."

"Shit," she curses, tugging at one of her braids until it hurts. "I'm—just. Dammit."

She all but flops down onto the deck, wrists resting on her knees, her eyes trained on the worn wood. She can't make herself meet his eyes.

"It's fine," he says. "When my mom was—you know—I had a hard time too, I would've saw her too. But, uh, that's different . . ."

He is terrible at comforting, but at least he's trying.

"I just. It's so hard. She was all I had left. I mean, I have Charlie, y'know? But that's it. There's his family but I've barely met them, they're just . . . blood-related. My mom was all I had. I didn't have any other parent, I didn't have friends aside from Charlie, but that was okay with me. I was happy just learning about the gods and monsters and all of that with my mom but—but that was it. I'd never been without her, not for too long. I've never . . . I didn't know what to do. It's stupid, cause I was, like, thirteen, but—"

"It's not stupid," Annabeth says, her throat scratchy from screaming. "I know—I know I said last year I'd let my dad die, but I was just angry. Now if something happened . . . I can't imagine what I'd do without him. I'd be lost."

And that is what it is. Thea feels lost. Sure, she's found a place, but would she ever really feel the same? She can't, not without her mom. The world needs Andraya Vasquez, Thea's world doesn't spin the same without her.

"I just miss her so much," Thea whispers, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes. "I don't even know where she is. Is she in the Fields? Eternal Punishment? One of the others?"

She can see her mother being taken to Valhalla, she died an honorable death. And Thea doesn't know much about the Norse world, but she's sure it wouldn't break any rules. Most likely.

"I just—it's so hard not knowing. My mom, she did so much—she spent her life in service to the gods, she was even friends to some of them, and she was—she was more than that to some of them. I just. I wish I knew if maybe they did it or didn't."