Unholy Love

Chapter Twenty-Eight

When I wake up, I feel much groggier. Slowly, rather sluggishly once I open my eyes I try to sit up. Straight in front of me I see my mother wrapped in a beige coloured poncho with her hand to her mouth. Looks of worry search the doctors face in front of her as they just happen to be whispering about my condition.

As they don't notice me awake, I search the small confined space for Lucifer, but he is nowhere to be found in the room. Has he left?

"Where is Lu-Damien?" I ask probing the attention of two wise owls to look in my direction. The doctor looks much more reassured than my mother.

"He just went to grab me some coffee, he'll be back soon sweetie," informs my mother as she struts over to me and fixes my hair with her perfectly manicured fingers.

She turns her attention towards the doctor who writes something down on his board before officially informing me of what have happened and how they have to take me into the operation to have the rest of my placenta removed that didn't supposedly, disappear, during my miscarriage. But the good news is that I can leave the hospital tomorrow morning.

I snort knowing that there is a condition to this leave, it only applies as long as I don't have another tantrum. That would call for the ground of needing psychiatric help and I don't think it would be appropriate. Besides, my grief has formally turned into anger.

I know I may never be okay with this. Losing a child and my father, but until I get to be the one to get rid of Nina, I won't rest. I'll allow myself to seep into a deep depressive state to grieve my losses, but just long enough so that my anger doesn't dissipate. I will wait for the right moment before I strike.

Once the doctor leaves, I finally receive my mother's attention again. She takes a seat on my bed and corrects the paper-thin hospital sheets covering my body. Smoothing the material with the palm of her hands.

"You will get over losing a child Annabelle," she begins avoiding all eye contact with me as she says her words. Confidently but in a quite tone of voice.

"How do you know? What makes you so sure mama?"

My mother's eyes lift to meet mines. Her lips twitch into a shy smile as she clasps my hands into hers.

"Because I lost a child when I was around your age too."

My mother's words shock me. I never know that this is has happened to her as well. Is that the reason I'm an only child?

"Why have you never told me this before?" I plead for an answer.

The beautifully aged blonde female sitting in front of me sights reluctantly.

"I was twenty-two, young and dating a man I was completely and utterly in love with, much like you and Damien, but things were very complicated between us, there were a lot of people, a lot of obstacles that only proved to us that we aren't meant to be. He was not a good man Annabelle, admitting I do not have a good reputation with the stereotypical bad guys is not something you should be admitting to your daughter."

"We ended up breaking things up, but I found out that I was pregnant and around ten weeks into the pregnancy I miscarried. To say that that it was partially the man's fault would be an understatement, but I grew up to learn that it is not worth blaming anyone for what has happened, not even yourself. The pregnancy was never supposed to happen. Looking back, it was for the better and that is the same for you Annabelle, this pregnancy is not meant to be, and you shouldn't blame yourself for it."

I think this is the most vulnerable I have ever seen my mother being with me. I look at her with sympathy filled eyes as my other hands rest on top of hers in a gesture of appreciation.