Unholy Love

Chapter Twenty-Seven

When I wake up my eyes squint from the harsh lighting in the room. It takes some time for them to adjust to the illumination surrounding me. But once they do and my eyes look around, I notice that I am back at the hospital. Except this time, I have more wires around me, and I am wearing a hospital gown.

The smell of rubber gloves and rubbing alcohol immediately engulfs my nostrils once my senses restart.

When I look down, I notice Lucifer with his head laying down on the bed, his hand clasping mines. He's not squeezing, just gently touching, but that's probably because of the IV.

I can't help but look at how even in his sleep he looks concerned right now. His brown hair tussled like he has been playing around with it as a nervous habit. I want to touch it, but the more I stare at him the more I realise that our son would look like this.

Now he is depleted. Consumed by the panic I have experienced by witnessing my dad's death. He may have been the Devils child, but it is clearly too much for him. Too much for me.

I can't stop thinking about how this may be my fault. If I have had listened to Lilith and Lucifer, and everybody else, perhaps this wouldn't have happened. If I isn't hit by so much shock so unexpectedly maybe I would still be pregnant. But I know I'm not. Even though I need clarification I feel too void. Like I have a piece of myself carved out of me.

I take in a deep breath, attempting to calm down my emotions as I try to convince myself that perhaps this is for the better.

I try moving my hand away but as soon as I do Lucifer is shaken awake. He groans softly squinting his eyes then opening them wide when he realises that I am awake.

"Annabelle!" he says my name almost like it is painful to say it out loud. There is a sense of urgency and not just in his voice but also on his face.

He stands up and cups my face pressing a kiss on my forehead, pulling some of my strands away from my face with trembling hands. When I look into his eyes, I see relief and concern.

"I'll go get the doctor," he says in a modulated tone of voice, turning away from me in a flurry.

"No, don't go yet!" I voice in anxiety. Weakly I grab a hold of his hand causing him to turn around and face me again.

He sits on the side of my bed gently clasping my hand in his and resting it on his lap. He looks a little restless like he is struggling to sit still, and it makes me terrified to ask what I need to know.

I don't even realise when tears begin to pool in my eyes until Lucifer's warms fingers wipe them away.

"The baby?" I ask in a small croaky way.

His shoulders stop moving up and down, I can tell he is holding in his breath as he is thinking about what to say. His lips purse into a thin line and I can see the side muscle on his neck pulsate.

Is he angry?

"Gone," he says simply as he releases his breath allowing his shoulders to relax. It's almost like he is relieved. Slouching in his upright sitting position.

"Gone," I say quietly testing the word.

"Gone," I repeat feeling sickened, frowning my eyebrows as I cry out a plea of mercy with tears falling down my cheeks.

I weep like a mother should when she realises, she have just lost her child. Lucifer leans into my side, holding my face still so that I don't shake so violently from the shock that has just hit me. I know what to expect when I woke up, but to hear it out loud hit me in all the wrong places.

"Shh, Anna!" he tries calming me down, but nothing works. I close my eyes and continue to cry shouting words that I don't even understand.

How can it possibly be that I have lost two people at the same time. I cannot image not being able to see my dad anymore. I cannot imagine knowing that I have a small child inside of me for all those weeks and now I am empty. Completely and utterly empty.

"Anna you're in shock calm down!" Lucifer warns me gently but domineeringly enough that he makes me question what I is even thinking.

Everyone has warned me about the child, that it's not good for me, but it is my baby! I want it. And now I can't have it.

My body shakes violently as I try to push Lucifer off me, screaming a big 'No!' at him while I clumsily try to rip off the wires attached to me and my purposeless body.

Lucifer's warm stone hard hands grab and grips my arms and holds them away from my body. Providing just the right amount of pressure so that they were held in place without hurting my cold pale skin.

"Let me go!" I yell loud enough for the nurses outside my room to hear.

Which they do. They run bursting in, one calling after a doctor who comes in rather quickly as they watch me fight off Lucifer, screaming all sorts of filth at everyone.

All the chaos of the room muffles, I can barely hear my own screams or the increasing tempo of my heart monitor.

"Let me the fuck go!" I scream out again in a voice that broke with each syllable. My throat is beginning to hurt from the amount of screeching I is doing.

My senses briefly dart of to a nurse who is preparing a syringe with something. My eyes shoot wide open in an even bigger panic.

"No! That shit isn't going anywhere near me!" I scream out pressing myself into Lucifer as I try to pull away from the nurse.

His hands wrap around me, holding me in place and pressing me into his spicy-hot scented chest. The scent itself is comforting, but only for a brief moment when I realise, he is holding me tight to allow the nurse enough time to put some drug into my IV.

Hastily, I pull away screaming again. Lucifer's hands cup my face, stopping my head from the shaking earthquake of my tantrum.

"Anna, focus on something else, anything else, another emotion, love, hate, anything?" he suggests, and I take his words to heart.

He wants me to focus on another emotion, so I will.

My face stiffens. My eyes open and squint in vengeance. My jaw spasms, and my teeth grit against one another like I am sharpening a butchers knife.

When I look Lucifer in the eyes, I see a completely different girl staring back at me.

Nina murdered two people this night and she will pay for it.