Secrets of Love

Broken

I was sitting at my desk finalizing plans for a thirtieth birthday weekend bash. I had sent out invites and I was working on the centerpieces for the dinner/party she was having. I looked up to see a picture of Sunny sitting on the corner of my desk. I picked it up and ran my hand over the glass before I sat back in the corner. It had been two days since she had died and we were supposed to go to the funeral home to make arrangements at three and it was 2:45. I was still debating on whether or not I wanted to go. I stood up and threw on my sunglasses and headed to my car. On the way there everyone kept calling to see where I was. When I pulled up to Hicks funeral home I took a deep breath and placed my head on the steering wheel.

"Help me, Lord." I said and bit my lip. I opened my door when Bran knocked on my window. He grabbed my hand as we walked in together.

Derrick, Justyce and Lexi were there for "support" and to help us with funeral arrangements. We decided that the service would be on Saturday, which was three days from then. I was fine with everything until it was time to pick out the casket.

"Cam?" Bran called as they placed an open book of small caskets in front of me. I didn't like what they had so we were going to order one. 

"Hmm?"

"We have to pick one today." He intertwined our hands and opened the book.

We finalized everything and I tried to go back to the office, but Justyce took my keys and drove me home. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to share stories about my baby with people who barely knew her. I was tired of hearing 'sorry' and 'let me know if you need anything'. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Cam, are you going to eat?" Lexi came to my room with her sleeves rolled up.

"I'm not hungry." I was in the bed with my iPad working.

"You need to eat. You want some chicken? A salad?"

"I said I wasn't hungry, Lexi. Can you leave, please? I'm working."

"Cam, you really need to eat-"

"I'm not hungry, damn!" I yelled and she arched her brow and took a step back. I took a deep breath, "Lex, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"No, it's okay. I'll just give you some time." She walked out of the room and I put my iPad away.

I had changed into one of Brandon's shirts and went to the bathroom to grab my pills. They were just over the counters to help me get some rest. I was only supposed to take one, but I took two. I just wanted to sleep and maybe I would wake up and this all would be a dream. Just as I got under the cover the door opened and Jus and Lexi walked in with a plate of food.

"Cam, you got to eat something." Jus sat on the bed by my legs with a plate of food and desserts from downstairs.

"I'm not hungry." I mumbled feeling the effects of the pills sooner because I doubled the dosage.

"Cammy, come on just a little bit. You haven't eaten in two days. That's not good for you."

"Mmhmm." I looked at her from my low eyes wishing that I could just go to sleep.

"Cam, come on. You're going to get sick." Lexi said sitting in the corner chair.

I took a deep breath, sat up and snatched the plate from Jus and sat it on the table.

"I'll eat it later. I'm going to sleep." I laid back down and cocooned myself in the cover.

I ignored them asking me to eat and let sleep overtake my body. I was sleep for a long time because when I opened my eyes it was dark and my room was pitch black. I felt arms around me and I knew it was Bran because he was talking to me. He didn't know that I was awake, but I could feel his tears falling down my neck.