3 THE PEEPER
I spent the entire night in my room reading, then crying in a vicious cycle. I couldn’t shake the words I had spoken from my mind. Where had they come from? What is happening to me? Jake had said my words to Candy were true, but how would I know any of that? I tossed and turned, begging for sleep to come and save me from myself.
The next morning I dreaded going to school, but I couldn’t put it off for all eternity. For the first time in my life I was eager to be moving. Maybe if I made the suggestion, Mom and Dad would grant my wish. It would be a record for us, the place we stayed in for less than a week. Now I had to share my upstairs bathroom with Jeremy and his mother, not wanting to run into either of them, I waited until I was sure they had both gone down stairs. I studied myself in the mirror, I looked the same as always. However, I felt as if a gigantic tumor of festering grossness was protruding from my face, showing my ugliness to the world. I moped downstairs to meet my doom.
Jeremy’s mom was in full swing making bacon and eggs, with sides of toast for the household. It did smell delicious, but the knots in my stomach revolted at the thought of yet more weight pressing down on the sickness inside me. Jeremy did not make eye contact with me and when I stepped closer to retrieve my book bag from the back of a chair at the table, he cringed from me. Just a sampling of what my day would be, I was sure. Mom came up to me to see if I was feeling alright, she said I looked pale. She can see it, the big wart of disgusting, front and center of my forehead. I told Mom I was feeling nauseous, that was the truth. She suggested I stay home and rest. I put up no protest.
Jeremy seemed relieved as I headed back to the steps to go to bed. From my bedroom window I watched him board the bus, I even saw a glimpse of Jake through the grimy bus windows. I knew staying home was not the solution, but it bought me time to think and time to recuperate.
I heard Michelle leaving to go to her job at the diner. I knew Mom would be up shortly to check on me, that would be my chance to plead my case that we move on from this town. Running away was not my personality, but I had lots of practice. Why put off until tomorrow, what we could do today? When I heard Mom’s gentle rap at my door, I called her in to my room. I had flopped myself across my bed, face down in my book. However, the words were one big blur from the tears in my eyes. Mom came to sit beside me and began telling me about a boy she had met in school before my father. I knew my parents were high school sweethearts, they met in the tenth grade, but she had never told me about another boy. His name was Albert, according to Mom he was very handsome and funny. He had broken off their relationship, because his parents didn’t approve of her as good enough for their son. I asked her why, but she shrugged me off. By virtue of having known my mother all my life, I knew there was a reason that she knew full well, but why wouldn’t she tell me? She continued to tell her story of how they would meet in secret for a few more weeks, but eventually Albert said he couldn’t keep sneaking around and broke it off. In no time he had a new girlfriend, Kotrina, and by the fire in my mother’s eyes she still harbored some distaste for that girl. Albert still laughed and flirted with Mom in school in the beginning, but Kotrina stopped all that. Mom said originally she started to date my father to hurt Albert and make him jealous, BUT . . . She fell hopelessly overboard in love with my father and wouldn’t change it for the world. I knew her story was meant to give me hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I had much heavier fears eating at my hope.
“Mom, I want to move away from here and never look back. I know we just got settled, but that just means it would be easier to pack up and go.” Mom peered at me with the deepest concern. Unfortunately, she didn’t say what I desperately needed to hear. Instead, she patted and rubbed my back stating this heartache will pass, then soon I would have completely forgotten ole whatshisname. With more vehemence that I realize I was placing behind it, I yelled at her. “Like you forgot all about Albert and Kotrina!?” She flinched at my anger, but recovered quickly. She got up and promised she would talk to my dad about it tonight when he got home. Then she was gone.
