TWO OF A KIND (batjoke)

Chapter 1

TW (Trigger Warnings): Mentions of alcoholic beverages, bad /mature language, fighting, blood, some depressing shit, people and flirting. If you are uncomfortable with any of these subjects then do not read on [you have been warned]

Bruce's POV

I was walking home in the knee deep, snow covered part of Gotham City. As I walked past a dark alleyway, I saw a dark figure out of the corner of my eye. I squinted trying to see if it was just a person or if it was an animal... like a dog or gorilla or something like that. The dark figure slowly walked out from the shadows and into the street light's ray and I noticed. It was John. That inhumanly beautiful and handsome man from Arkham Asylum that helped me to escape.

From what I could make out from the little bit of light that shown down on his figure, I saw that he was wearing something different that made him seem like a villain. He wore dark purple eyeshadow around his eyes, and a sort of mahogany shaded kind of red lipstick I couldn't really make out the color as well because of the lighting. His dark green hair was slicked back with a strand of hair that looked purposely placed on his forehead. He even had on one magenta diamond earring from what I could tell. 

He had a nice suit on. The coat was purple and open up so you could see the minty green shirt underneath. He had a folded up piece of dark magenta cloth in his coat pocket, he had on a purple tie with light purple spirals on it. Also, his dress shirt under the coat was slightly open enough to see some of his bare chest which looked delightfully smooth and soft to the touch.

"OH! hiya Brucie! long time no see aye?", he smiled widely as he waved at me. "oh, uh, you look... nice, John", I stuttered out with a slight blush forming on my cheeks.

Joker's POV (too lazy to put john xD)

"oh, uh, you look... nice, John", he responded to me with a stutter as I noticed a blush on his cheeks starting to form. I smirked upon noticing his blush. I walk towards him, swaying my hips slightly as I walk closer to him. I saw as his facial features change once he realized what I was trying to do and his blush deepened. I just grinned at this, feeling success having made him more flustered. I stop in front of him and chuckle at how flustered he looks. "looks like someone's flustered~", I teased. He clears his throat awkwardly and looked away. 

I chuckle again. "what's wrong brucie? bat's got your tongue?~"

"heh sorry just a little caught of guard is all", he chuckled lightly. I smiled softly at him and then an awkward silence fell between us. "uhmm would  you like to see my place?", he asked trying to break the awkwardness. "oooh, yeah, that sounds like fun!!", I replied while excitedly, jumping up and down, smiling like a lil' kid high on sugar.

Honestly I get excited for no reason cause I saw his place or what I thought was his place  a few years back, and it wasn't really anything too interesting.... or am I thinking of my ol' friend Gerald's place?.... shrugs  who cares!

Bruce and I start walking through the streets of Gotham and somehow I just now noticed that it was almost night. Jeez I'm terrible at observing my surroundings wow, hahaha! We end up passing by a local bar, which I see and forget about Bruce completely then went into the bar.

Bruce's POV

We walk past a local bar and I think nothing of it and keep walking. I turn around realizing that I didn't hear any second footsteps behind me, to be met with no one there. I groan and walk back towards the bar from earlier and go inside assuming that he was in there. First thing I see is John sitting in a group circle with complete randos. Drinking beers and other alcholic drinks. 

I saw one of the guys at John's table get up and walk over to him. Next thing I knew is that I saw and heard glass breaking, and John fell to the ground with blood streaming down his face as the others joined in to beating him up. I rushed over there and pushed the guys off him (literally fighting I think but ok lol). I scooped him up and rushed out of the bar with him in my arms. By the time I got outside it had started snowing. I ran through the snow and towards Wayne Manor. 

Joker's POV

Me and the guys at the bar were talking about stuff when I stupidly decided to make a joke about the biggest muscle-y guy's mom and next thing I knew is I was face planting into the ground, bleeding from the head and I blacked out.

Time Skip~

I woke with a start. I woke with silk sheets covering me and in a warm, comfy bed. Suddenly a harsh pain hit me right in the head. I reached to touch my head which was securely wrapped with bandages. I groaned "Ugh what happened?" I asked to no one in particular. "Some guys at the bar beat you up.", I heard a familiar voice say. "Bruce?" 

"The one and only", he said chuckling and smirked.

He walked towards me, hands in his dress pants' pockets. "what's the special occasion forcing you into that fancy outfit?", I asked curiously. "Well, since it's Wednesday-" I cut him off "Wednesday? I thought it was Friday??"

"Well it was until you decided to take a 3 week nap" I just stare at him in shock. 3 weeks?! "I've been knocked out for that long?!"

"Yeah. I would've thought you were dead given like a month." he told me. I heard him call for Alfred but I kinda just zoned out completely, thinking about the past. (oof this'll be where a "killing joke" joker based/inspired flashback comes in) 

Flashback~

"You have to stop worrying so much. Me and the baby are fine."

"But, Jeanie, I got fired from my job and no one else would accept me!" John whines as tears pool out of his eyes. Jeanie put her hand on John's hand which was placed on her knee. She raised her hand to caress his cheek with her thumb while giving her husband a warm smile. He sighs and stands up looking away from her.

"I bet it's embarrassing for you to have to deal with my unmanly, pathetic self huh", he said with a sad smile. Jeanie sighs. "You are not pathetic", she says sternly "your just.... emotional is all and that's completely ok. If anything that's the manliest thing a man can do. Show emotion." John looked at her and smiled widely. "Thank you for those reassuring words, Jeanie" he hugs her careful not to hurt her pregnant belly.

Time Skip (like 6 or so months after Jeanie dies from a miscarriage)~

"you're so emotionless Batman! Give me a smile!!", he smiles widely at the bat as he goes in to slash him with his knife. Of course Batman dodges the attack smoothly with ease and even does a counter attack on Joker by elbowing him right in the jaw as well as the throat by accident. Joker coughs and looks at batman with a struggling smile still on his face. "nice one" he says in a raspy voice since the bat accidently hit him in the throat as well. He rubs his throat "next time I suggest not elbowing me in the throat thank you very much" he said in a pained voice. 

"There wont  be a next time, Joker ", batman said. "huh? what do you mean? I always get out though", Joker says when his voice comes back. "what I mean is I'll lock you up and throw away the key", batman replies with a very stern and serious tone in his voice. 

End Flashback~