The Wattpad Block Party

Molly Night's interview with Zayn, Jonah, and Alice (@MollyNight)

Hello children of Earth, this is an interview with my characters from Dark and Dangerous Love. If you are not of Earth origin, this is still an interview with my characters from Dark and Dangerous Love. If you are looking for blueprints to build a nuclear bomb, you should go seek it at NASA. If you are looking to speak to the future leader of this planet, please wait till after the interview and Mr Zayn Nocturne Malik's assistants may note your reasons to be here. He only arranges meetings with the absolute important ones those... Important men and their arrogances... Ugh.

*turns to the two handsome man sitting across from me and the dark haired girl*

Now, dear readers, I have to apologise if your favourite character is not present. You have no idea how difficult it was to arrange this quick five minute interview with Zayn, Alice, and Jonah. I wish it was Evelyn, Ethan, and Harry instead, but... well... important men and their jealous ways *throws glare at Zayn*

Zayn: Molly, you better shut up before I snap your neck.

Shut up, you can't snap my neck I write your life. If I die, you die with me, bïtch.

Jonah: *throws me a cold look* You did not just call Zayn a bïtch. I'm going to rip your spinal cord out, you little bïtch! I am the only one who's allowed to be sassy in this interview!

Shut up before I kill you off... Or make you fall in love, and then make the girl break your heart. I control your life Jonah, don't forget to be nice to Mama Molly.

Jonah: *smirks* Okay, mama, if you want to get kinky like that, I don't mind.

Alice: *rolls her eyes*

*rolls eyes as well*

Zayn: J, calm down. Let's just get this over with. I don't have all day, I want to get back to the palace and back to my love. *straightens his regal position* Molly, my sweet, your first question, please.

Don't my sweet me, you handsome ass. *glares* But, anyway, my dearest King, how does it feel to be the King of Earth and the most powerful man on Earth?

Zayn: Fun.

Bet it is you piece of shit.

Zayn: I don't think you like me very much.

No, I do not.

Jonah: Watch your tone of voice, little girl.

Shut up, you don't scare me. I am the writer, I out rank you.

Jonah: Somebody's letting her power getting to her head.

Zayn: Next question please, my dearest Molly.

How does it feel knowing the woman you love, loves someone else?

Zayn: Painful.

Why did you prohibit Evelyn from coming here today, you possessive tyrant?

Zayn: I like to keep her safe. She is very precious to me. Her life is much more valuable than this little show.

You do know I offered to give you two the most cliché happily ever after ending if you allowed her to come today, right? Do you not read my emails? AND WHY DID YOU GET YOUR ASSISTANT TO REPLY TO MY EMAIL, AM I NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO GET A PERSONALISED EMAIL? HUH?

Zayn: My sweet, I fear for my love's life. Her life outweighs my happiness.

Alice: *gags and give Zayn a revolting look*

Stupid all-powerful King... ugh. Okay, the next question. Zayn,—

Jonah: Why are you directing all the questions to Zayn?

Shut up! Okay, anyway, as I was saying before the rude interruption by the extremely unpleasant Jonah—

Jonah: Extremely unpleasant, but totally hot and bang-able Jonah, with abs of steel. Molly, I would also like to mention I am well endowed. I will give you the hottest night of sëx you will ever experience. You know what they say, when you go Jonah, you never go back *winks* for further enquiries, please email fuckmejonahpleaseyouhandsomelord@DnDL.com. I accept nudes.

You are gross.

Jonah: You made me this way baby *winks* I know how much you want to ride the Jonah train Molly. All you have to do is ask. After this interview, I'm going to fu—

Shut up.

Jonah: You want me, you admitted it yourself.

Shut up. *glares* Anyway, Zayn, why did you enslave the human race?

Zayn: *shrugs*

What do you find sexy in a woman?

Zayn: Compassion, humour, kind smile, bravery, stubbornness, dark hair, blue eye, pale skin, beautiful lips... *licks his lips, a smile threatened to break his formidable, stoic face. His sad eyes twinkled for a moment as he thought of the love of his life, his sweet, heavenly Evelyn*

WHAT SO I'M NOT COMPASSIONATE, HUMOUR, KIND, BRAVE AND STUBBORN ENOUGH FOR YOU HUH? ZAYN NOCTURNE MALIK I CALLED YOU THIRTY SEVEN THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED AND NINTY TWO TIMES IN THE PAST TWO YEARS WHY DIDN'T YOU RETURN MY CALLS I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL YOU CALLED ME PRETTY AND YOU CALLED ME SMART AND YOU KISSED MY NOSE *bursts into tears* WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME THE WAY YOU LOVE EVELYN PLEASE JUST LOVE ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR CHEEKBONES AND YOUR EYELASHES MADE OF DREAMS AND UNICORNS!!!! *cries even more*

Zayn: *puts face in hands, his face remains cold as ice* Why must I be cursed with such beauty and charm? Why?

Jonah: *gasps, eyes wide as he turns to Zayn. His expression suggests Zayn has grown an extra head in the past ten seconds* Dude, you screwed the writer?

Zayn: It was a terrible mistake I made long ago, please do not taunt me with it.

SO I'M A MISTAKE? I LOVED YOU! I GIVE MY HEART TO YOU AND YOU BROKE IT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND THAT THE NIGHT WE SHARED WAS SPECIAL WHY DID YOU PLAY ME? I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME BACK? WHY?

Zayn: *rolls his eyes*

Jonah: *wiggles his eyebrows* Hey Molly, do you know the best way to get over someone is go get under someone? Why don't you take a ride on the Jonah train tonight and I'll show you a good time huh? Babe, I'll even let you suck my co—

*slaps Jonah* SHUT UP! *throws Zayn a furious scowl cold menacing enough to kill and smirks sinisterly* Zayn, my love, since you broke my heart, I'm going to break your heart back. I will make sure you will never get your happily ever after and you will spend eternity in misery and pain!

Zayn: *sighs* I always knew you were the reason Evelyn didn't fall to my feet the moment she laid eyes on me. I mean, look at me! *gestures at his delicious body*

*stares at him, licks lips, contemplating whether to rip his clothes off here, or drag him back to cave first then rip off clothes*

Zayn: How much?

Huh?

Zayn: How much do you want to write me a happy ending? *snaps finger*

YOU CAN'T BRIBE ME WITH MONEY! I AM AN AUTHOR, AN ARTIST, I WRITE—holy shit are those real diamonds?

*several vampires appear out of nowhere, bearing trays of glittering jewels.*

Zayn: *writes out a cheque* Four billion dollars. I will also add in several islands in Hawaii, Bora Bora, some chalets in Austria, mansions in California, London, Tokyo, Paris, Milan, New York, and just about anythings else you could possibly ask for.

Hmm, throw in Lord Harry Styles in the pile of bribery and I might consider it.

Zayn: *smiles* Gladly.

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