The Seer And The Stetson

The Mountain Pass

Ellie didn't understand River's composure after what occurred only moments ago in Black Brooke. He sat sagged forward with forearms top his knees and reigns held loosely in each hand, driving the team at only a canter. 

There could be a posse hot on their heels but he seemed unbothered. His faraway look showed little focus on surveying the mountain path, which grew wide where the soil was soft and narrow in the rocky passes. At times it was barely there at all, just a minor disturbance of earth, still, River was sure of his heading. She hoped he did not absentmindedly lead them astray. It seemed like his way of dealing with things. Just pretend that they never happened.

She envied his apathy. She couldn't stop fidgeting. Her already fragile cage had been rattled. Her whole life she'd been under some degree of duress. Always knowing some type of disquiet. Nervous, like a battered animal waiting for the sting of the switch. 

People weren't meant to live under such unbearable constraints. Maybe it's what caused her to be so different from her Mama and Papi. Her heart was hardened by an arduous life.  She learned to live with it. She used to act like it was normal. As if the way society treated her was appropriate. Even if everyone knew it to be wrong. 

And now, she knew better and did better. The wise let fear school them but never fool them. She was free but her burdens remained unchanged. The realization hit hard years ago that no one was coming to rescue her from life. And there was never a choice between living a life of oppression or freedom. She would have freedom or death. She bows her head nor lowers her gaze for any man.

Yet, it occurred to her how much their lives were truly imperiled. And that Jolene saved them from what was assuredly a dire fate. Nearly three hours later, River said nothing. He just gazed ahead, indifferent to the danger still looming over them. 

The rainbow of colors she'd grown used to seeing in his aura bled into a deep green. He was hiding something. And if she had to hazard a guess, it had something to do with the gorgeous brunette riding in the back of the wagon. 

Ellie leaned back against her seat, straining for any chatter from the caboose. It was eerily quiet with Jolene taking the liberty of silencing the sheriff to decrease his various complaints and salacious name-calling. 

Abigail was so deep in her melancholy that she hardly noticed the half-dressed white woman and the unconscious sheriff at her feet. 

With a disgruntled sigh, Ellie turned to River, "Collins," she began in with a small voice, barely audible over the dull roar of the wind and the soft creaking of the wagon. "I need to understand what the fuck happened back there. Who is this white woman? And how is it that you know her?"

'That didn't take long at all' River thought, his expression tightened with a grimace. 'But, what the hell am I gonna tell her?'  

He knew he'd eventually have to hear her two-cents but he'd hoped they could put more distance between them and that awful town first. It would give him time to find the right words. He turned to her, feeling the heat of her glare. He didn't want to lie to Ellie but he wasn't ready to tell her the truth either. 

"Is this one of those times you want me to lie to you to protect your delicate feelings?" The corner of his lips pulled into a lopsided smile. He thought he saw her gaze falter a bit but she recovered so quickly recover that he'd of missed it if he blinked. Looks like he hadn't lost his charm after all. 

Ellie glowered, "I need you to tell me the truth. Who the fuck is she? And why is she here?"

"My history with Jolene is...complicated," River drew out. His eyes were everywhere except in her direction. 

He looked over when she cleared her throat. "Then uncomplicate it." There was such authority in her voice that River felt obliged to answer. 

River sighed in dismay, "Me and Jolene, we knew each other from way back when. She and I courted for a time. That did not end well." Contrition seemed etched in his features as he struggled to avoid Ellie's scrutiny. 

She crossed her arms, then her legs, "Seems like most things don't end well with you." He could have sworn she was smirking as she said it. "That all there is to it?"

His sigh was louder this time, "Why you got to be so damn persistent? You don't quit do you woman?" His voice rose as he straightened his posture. 

River's leg bounced rhythmically, but the rest of his body remained rigid and stiff. His jaw clenched tightly as his gaze locked with Ellie's but she wouldn't let him have an inch. 

He cursed under his breath, "Damn it!" 

"Since you want to know so Goddamn much," He said defeated, "I met Jolene when I was about seventeen. She was a working girl in New Mexico when we first met but that didn't matter to me none. We got to know each other in a very biblical sense if you catch my meaning." 

River didn't miss the blush that crept up her neck and stained her cheeks. 'So somethin' can still shock you. Not as jaded as you seem.'

 He continued, "I promised...I promised to marry her and take her away from the miserable life she was living. But." Another sigh this time one marked by shame, "But, the men I was ridin' with at the time were no fit company for a woman. And I had nothing to give her other than poverty. So I left her without a word. She looked for me after I left and I heard about it but I never had the courage to face her."

Ellie shook her head, "You deserve what that girl is gonna do to you, Collins. You did her wrong." 

He shrugged and gave a humorless smile, "I ain't the good guy remember. I'm the selfish, asshole. I take what I want. I do what I want and I don't do the right thing."

Ellie thought of her response. She knew there was more to him than that and lying to himself like that wouldn't solve anything. 

"You're not as evil as you think you are." 

"No. I'm much worse."