Two Different Worlds Collide (Blood & Bones MC Book 1)

Chapter 21

Ember's POV

When I woke up from my surgery the doctor told me I had 2 broken ribs, a broken wrist that had needed a screw put in it, internal bleeding they had repaired, a concussion, several lacerations they had stitched up, and other minor issues. Only one thing I knew for certain was I needed to talk to Cass right away and told the doctor to only allow her in. I knew it would upset the club but right now I needed to think of me and what I needed.

Cass walked in and as soon as she took in my appearance she burst into tears running over to me and clinging to my shoulder. I patted her head with my good hand whispering that I was going to be okay. After calming down enough she looked at my face finally, "Why didn't you want Hawk or any of the guys to come in here?"

I bit the side of my cheek I knew she wouldn't like what I had to say, "I need to go home Cass. I can't stay here. I need time to process what has happened and heal after what happened there and to Crow. I know that the beginning of all this had nothing to do with them and they saved us, but if I stay in their world I risk something like this happening again and I don't know that I can do that. I need space to think, but I know if I let them in here I'll break down and not do what is best for me right now. I need to put me first."

Cass nodded her understanding, "Okay we can go back as soon as the doctor gives you the all clear."

What? "No Cass you don't have to go back with me. I wouldn't ask you to. I've seen how close you've grown with Gage I cannot ask you to leave him. He's been good for you. After what happened to you to watch you open up to someone like that is wonderful." I explained to her trying to let her know it was okay.

"You didn't ask me to, but I'm telling you where you go I go. You are my family. You've been everything to me and you need me now to be everything for you." She looked at me sternly as she said this.

I couldn't help it I started to cry. She crawled onto the bed with me and I curled into her as she held my body while I sobbed hard. After a while I drifted off to sleep allowing the exhaustion I felt to consume me.

I woke up sometime later and it was still night outside. Cass was no longer with me but I still felt a presence in the room. I turned and saw Blade's figure standing in the corner watching me. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay away. I held my hand out to him. He looked at my hand like it was something foreign. I shook my hand to show him I meant it. He slowly began to walk towards me still staring at my hand. He took my hand, but seemed unwilling to look in my eyes.

"Blade," I whispered quietly. He tightly closed his eyes and let out a deep breath before looking up at me. "This wasn't your fault. I don't blame you, any of you."

"Then why keep us out?" I could hear the hurt and anger in his voice.

"Because, I needed space. I need space. I knew they wouldn't be able to keep you away if you didn't want to be though." I gave him a small smile. His face remained hard. "I knew if any of you came in here you would try and probably succeed at trying to talk me out of what I needed to do. I need to go back to St. Louis. I need time to heal and process what's happened. I don't think I was cut out for your life, a motorcycle club. I love all of you, but I don't know that I can do this." I tried desperately to make him understand.

"We can protect you." Blade implored me now I could hear the slight desperation there that he was allowing me to hear. I know it only came out because he allowed it to. He didn't let emotion out other than anger unless it was intentional no matter how strongly he felt.

"I know you can Blade. I'm so sorry I'm failing y'all by not being strong enough. I just need time and space right now. I'm sorry that I have to be selfish." I had started to cry. I knew I was hurting him and this would hurt all of them. My heart was breaking at the idea of never seeing Hawk again but I had to give myself time. I think I loved Hawk but this situation was too much and my body too broken at the moment. "Don't close off again Blade, allow yourself to feel and express those feelings even if it is in your own way." I knew he would shut down again but I still had to try.

Blade nodded to me and stroked my hair gently before he swiftly turned and headed out the door.

Hawk's POV

I watched as Blade exited her room. I had heard everything she said to him. She sounded so broken. Butch had taken something from her; she had lost the light in her. Cass had told me a lot of it already but I didn't believe it I needed to hear it from her.

Blade met my eyes, the hard face and scowl had taken over his features again. He gave me a head nod before he walked away down the hallway.

I took a couple of steps towards her door, but froze before I went through the door frame. I am a selfish man, but my Little Flame deserved better right now. She needed me to be selfless and let her go. She had been hurt enough by her family and then I failed her by allowing Butch to take her. No matter what she said this was my fault for not protecting her. I love her enough to let her go.

I turned and headed down the hallway. There was a prospect guarding her door so I knew she would be safe. I had things to take care of for my Little Flame. She would be released from the hospital tomorrow and I would make sure everything was ready for her.

Arriving back at the clubhouse I saw that most of my brothers were still up and waiting for news. They knew I was going to try and talk to her. Blade was off in the corner scowling. Gage was grumpily up at the bar. Cass had already told him that she was leaving with Ember. He didn't take the news well, but she had said Ember needed her and that Ember saved her and she needed to help save Ember now. Gage seemed to take it better after that, I guess Cass had opened up to him about her past. He was still upset about the idea of her leaving. I knew Cass was upstairs packing their things already.

Everyone was looking at me expectantly. I cleared my throat choking back the emotions I was feeling "Flame and Cass are heading back to St. Louis."

"But they're going to come back right? Flame has to come back." Buster asked.

"I don't think so brother. She's hurting and needs time to heal. We've all watched her the past several days she's been here. She's selfless always putting others ahead of herself. Right now we need to allow her to be selfish. She was shoved into club life and look at what it got her? She needs time." I was close to tears fighting desperately to hold them in.

"Don't you young bucks know anything about women?" Axel asked clearly annoyed, "You've got to fight for your women. When you find the one you do everything you can to keep her."

"How much time are we going to give her?" Screw asked.

"I love her enough to give her as much time as she needs. Even if it means she never comes back." Everyone was shocked by my confession. "Help Cass load up their car. Make sure it has everything they need and then take it to the hospital. No one tries to talk them out of going. She needs this and we are going to give it to her." I commanded them this time. Then I turned and exited to my office. I locked the door and hung my head to cry. My Little Flame was leaving me and I just knew she wouldn't be coming back. I would never feel her under my hands, kiss her perfect lips, taste her sweet taste, or have her spark the flame within me again. The flame would be gone forever.