𝕱𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖆 ~ 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗂 𝗋𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗌

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

1984. The year that was so thrilling yet most heartbreaking. A year that everything fell apart, yet I thought I was on top of the world. So many tears and smiles, some I miss more than others. I regret it so much, I feel at fault for it so deeply. My life will never be the same, but I'm just lucky I was able to experience the joy of it all before.

October 1979:

It was a rainy cold day in Helsinki, Finland. The city was empty and bar lights flickered when I stepped out of the apartment, making sure the door slammed. "Sherry come back" Max races out of the door in only his underwear.

"No, piss off" I drop my skateboard on the wet concrete and jump on. I was leaving my life behind, only with a bag of items I needed and a guitar case. The wind felt good on my hot, red face. It hurt. I didn't get angry often, and if I did it was something obviously bad. I was supposed to go to New York with my band but I cared about someone else more, someone that was worth less than dirt. I skate along the sidewalk and stop so cars can drive by. I look up to feel the rain drops gradually grow, dripping down my face. Through skating a little more, I'm finally at the convenience store. The bell rings over my head and a man waved a little hello my way. I wave back and find my way to the alcohol section. I stuff my coat sleeves with two bottles of Jack Daniel's and hope for the best.

"This all" the cashier grabs the pack of cigarettes off the shelf behind him.

"Yes" my voice cracks.

"That'll be,, 9.37" he looks down at me like he was on a stool, which I bet he was.

"Oh alright" I dig through my pockets to find six dollars and a few quarters. "Well I only got this" I set it on the counter.

"That's not the correct amount, is it?" he crosses his arms. I look around and back to him, grabbing the cigs and running fast. "Hey what the hell, get back here" his voice trails off when the door slams behind me. I skate as fast as I could with the bottles still stuck under my arm. I popped the gum I managed to grab on my way out in my mouth as I laughed. I got to a park that had a few broken street lights so I could barely see. I set my board on the bench and take the bottles out and lay across the bench to look up at the rainy sky.

I didn't think my life could fall apart like this, what was the point anymore. It felt like one of those stupid romance novels where the fiance cheats and the girl runs away. But this was exactly what it was. I sip my booze and think my life mistakes over. A few salty tears escape the corner of my eyes, rolling down my cheek. I guess I was gonna spend my night on this bench. My boots were soaked and my hair was sticking to my face. I was a mess. I wonder if my band would take me back, couldn't find a better guitarist could they.

"Hey you alright?" I hear a man's voice, but maybe I was dreaming. I pick my head up and look towards the younger man standing with a record clung to his chest by his arms.

"Yeah I'm fine" I nod "what are you doing out this late?" I didn't know why I asked that, he could be a murderer for all I knew.

"I was getting a record, what are you doing?" He walks a little closer, so now he's in the light. He had a slim face and a nice jawline, one like Audrey Hepburn. His hair was long and blond, almost strawberry blond. He had almond eyes that were lined with dark eyeliner that was now dripping down his face due to the downpour. He was overall, gorgeous really.

"I'm" I started, but couldn't finish the lie I was about to tell. "I got kicked out of my house, so here I am" oh but I was still lying.

"I see" he nods "may I sit next to you?"

"Yeah sure" I take a sip of my drink.

"What's your pretty name" he gives me a smile. Hopefully he wasn't some creep. I mean he didn't seem like it but you never know.

"I'm Sharise Virtanen, but call me Sherry" I smirk and pull out a cigarette and hand him one. "What's yours?"

"Matti," he looks my way "Matti Fagerholm."

"I like that name" I smiled back at him, he seemed sweet.

"You play guitar?" he asks, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Yeah, I was in a band" I shifted uncomfortably. "But I quit because I was gonna get married, but um I'm actually trying to get back in the band now" I try and laugh it off.

"Something tells me you didn't get kicked outta your house" I could feel his eyes on me, he just knew.

"Its stupid" I sigh all the air out of my lungs. "It's like a novel y'know" I turn to face him, "where the girl is gonna get married and then finds her fiance cheating the day before, like that."

"I'm sorry Sherry, that's horrible" I could see a little frown. Why was I telling a stranger this?

"Yeah, some redhead" I recall the vivid memory I only wished to forget. "I thought we had something, something I'd give up music for" my eyes get cloudy from the tears. "But it wasn't I guess, so now I gotta try and get back into this damn band."

"Sounds like he was an asshole" Matti taps the ashes off his cigarette. "But he wasn't worth your time it seems" he steps on the cigarette.

"You're right" I nod, why was I taking his advice. "Well I should be going now."

"Where to?" he questioned, right.

"Out of your hair, I think my friend Sami might let me stay" I drop my cigarette. But Sami did live quite far, might be morning before I get there.

"Well, you could stay with me for the night? I got a small apartment not too far from here" Matti offers.

"That would be great" I let out a breath I had been holding this whole night. Was this the best decision for my safety? Probably not, but it was better than this rusty bench. I grab my things and follow behind Matti on my skateboard. I liked this guy, he was cool. "So what's the record you got?"

"Oh it's Between The Buttons, Stones y'know" He smiles his already famously known smile to me.

"Going back to the sixties huh" I smirk "that's one of my favorite Stones albums actually."

"Mine too, the whole album is good," Matti says. "We're here" he gives me a nod and pulls out his keys to unlock the door. I stand around with my bag and guitar case in hand, nervously rocking back n' forth. It was a quite nice apartment, just awfully small and messy. But at least it had a roof. "The bathrooms over there and you could sleep in the extra bed in the room."

"Thanks" I look around a little bit more, setting my things on the floor. I didn't have any clothes, but if I did, they'd already be soaked. I only took my records with me, cause that's the only thing that matters. Other than the guitar. It was awkward there, I don't know why. I usually wasn't like this. Maybe it was because I just caught my boyfriend cheating. Ugh this was just all too much. "Hey Matti?" I pop my head into the bedroom.

"What's up" he slips his shirt off to reveal his skinny body.

"Do you have any clothes I could possibly borrow?"

"Yeah, in the drawer right there" he points. I nod and thank him before diving into my options. He had beautiful clothes honestly. They were all sequined, glittery and brightly colored. I settled for a purple zebra top with some random black pants. I quickly brush out my long blonde curly hair. I finally completed my night routine, to the extent of my circumstances. I sit on the stiff cotton bed and whisper a goodnight to Matti. I was so lucky my portable tape player wasn't destroyed by the rain, as well as the tapes themselves. Max got me it for my birthday, I hated him but I wasn't gonna leave this behind. As I slip in an AC/DC tape into its designated slot, I feel someone sit next to me. "You got a portable one" Matti exclaims.

"Yeah, wanna listen" I take the headphones and place it on his head. It was like watching a child. He bobbed his head up and down along with the music, which I could slightly hear T.N.T.

"Dude this is so cool, how'd you get it" she yells over the music only he could hear. "Aren't these like two hundred dollars?"

"My boyfriend got me it for my birthday, pretty sweet" I smile.

"Yeah it is" he smiles and takes off the headphones.

"Night" I say finally. I was quite exhausted, this day was just a huge screw up. How was I gonna get back in this band?