Lost Girl

Chapter 20

I don't have an infinite supply of patience and calm. I've managed to keep my cool for so long only because I know that it would harm the tenuous bond that's growing between her and I. But there comes a point, when you're watching her relive a memory of an event that most definitely scarred her for the rest of her life, that you just kind of snap.

I'm aware that it isn't my battle to fight, really, that everyone needs to fight their own demons, but I've watched her continuously struggle with hers and all I want to do is slay some of them, any of them. I don't like feeling helpless, and when she's gasping for air and crying "please don't, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'm sorry", not for the first time, that's about the first emotion that floods me.

"I'm so excited, it's weird that you have a day off. What are we going to do first?" She grins at me, clapping her hands together.

I muster up a smile, determined to keep my composure and show her a great time over here. There's time enough to bring up the delicate subject I want to discuss with her, time that won't interfere with her happy day. And in all honesty, I want to pretend for one day that not only am I not helpless, but that I can be a normal guy on a date.

"Do you want to go see London?" I ask, knowing her answer before she says "of course!"

I shove my feet in my black shoes, looking up at her. I'm amazed at how mercurial she can be; I know, in the back of her mind, the specter of her family lies in wait, but she refuses to succumb to it. She's so much stronger than I know she thinks she is, and it amazes me.

"Good, but what specifically do you want to see? As nice as it would be to have everything localized, it's all spread out so we've got to pick and choose what we want to get to today."

She pouts for a moment, then kneels down so she's eye level with me.

"Have you seen it all?" She laces up one of my shoes, and for the life of me I can't figure out what she's thinking.

"Yeah, so it's really whatever you want to do." I shrug, grabbing her shoulders and planting a kiss on her surprised lips. It's gratifying to know that she doesn't even tense a little at my unexpected affection.

"You're so beautiful." I sigh, and her smile is blinding.

"You're so cute." She laughs, pinching my cheek.

I wish I could read her mind. Maybe it would be easier to understand her.

She stands and grabs her jacket, zipping it up and flipping her hair out before I can retaliate.

"I want to be a tourist and go see the London bridge and the London Eye and Piccadilly Circus and I heard there's a really cool thing called the London Dungeons, can we do that?"

"Be a tourist?" I grinned at her excitement, following her example and shrugging my jacket on. She rolled her eyes, grabbing the purse we'd gotten in a moment of freedom.

"See the sites, do all of the things normal people do. So yeah, be a tourist."

We exited the hotel room together, taking the elevator to the first floor. I knew there was a tube station right next to the hotel, and I figured once we got there we'd figure out where to go.

"Dungeons. I know that's not as mainstream as the Eye or the Bridge, but I'm in the mood for spooky right now." She wiggled her fingers in my face, giggling when I bit the tip of one.