What if.....

11

10-blade " he said. Derek felt the scalpel being placed in his hand. He made a large cut on the left side of her head, " drill " he said grabbed. He felt guilty, he wished he could take away the pain from her. The scrub nurse came over with a tray, Derek took Meredith's skull and placed it in the tray. Once he removed the skull he could barely see the brain, stay calm he said to himself
" suction "
" scissors "
He exposed the brain, he looked up and saw that Yang, Weeber, Bailey and Karev are all up in the gallary. Derek also noticed that Karev was talking to someone on the phone while watching the screen. " suction " he said. He heard some ringing of an unstablized heart monitor.

" NO! PLEASE DONT SAY THAT! NOOOO! " lexie cried from a nightmare which woke Mark up. " Lex wake up what is it? " he asked terrifyed for the love of his life. Lexie srung out of bed breathing heavily. Mark rubbed her back trying to calm her down, he hated seeing her like this but he couldnt complain because the wife of his best friend is having brain surgery while the husband is operating.
" mark? " lexie whispered sobbing. Mark gave her a concerned look, " meredith is going to die, she is going to die alone with no one to hold her hand " lexie said sobbing into his scrub.
Mark couldnt bring himself to hear that. If it were true it would break everyone, Cristina would blame herself for not protecting Mer, Lexie would blame herself for not being a good sister to her, and Derek would think that he killed his own wife and he would never recovered from that at all. Mark stayed silent he sat up and brought out his phone while lexie sobbed. * facetime karev face timekarev * the phonw kept ringging, until he answered " are you watching grey's surgery? " he asked " yea why " he answered back
" Karev i need you to be supportive and calm and explain in every detail you have to Lexie because she wont stop freaking out. "
Karev just nodded, Mark handed the phone to lexie but she didnt notice, " lexie baby, talk to alex " he asked " why" she asnwered back
" cuz he is watching Merediths surgery. " Lexie looked at Mark and took the phone, she scootched over so Mark can come lay down with her, they both held hands. Mark chuckled and laid down resting his head on her chest.
Mark was exausted, he fell asleep listening to Lexies heartbeat, after 10 minutes Lexie started to scream " Alex? ALEX! WHATS HAPPENING ALEXXX" she yelled squeezing Mark's hand.
" what happened " he said in shock after hearing an unstable B.P.

Cristina shoots up putting her hand on the window, Derek just stood there watching the monitor and the exposed brain. He couldnt think what to do, he tries to forget that his love of the life is on the table, but he couldnt. He shook his head and heard a deep voice from the intercom " Shepard focus, the patient is a 34 year old libarian, she has 2 boys and a husband at home, she got hit by a drunk driver, what do you do now " he said making up a story.
Derek closed his eyes and imagined what he said. he took off his gloves and started compressions. Bailey was praying for her intern, Richard shed a tear holding the intercom button, Alex dropped his phone on the chair leaving Lexie staring at the roof and went towards the window and stared intensely, and Cristina on the other hand was a wreak, she had tears running down her face. They all could hear Derek panting. " c'mon Meredith please stay with me" he said over and I se again. Derek stopped to see it flatlining, he tried again harder and harder, but still flatlined. He looked up into the gallery and saw everyone's faces shocked and scared. He threw in a cardiac thump, * beep beep beep * and her B.P stabilized. " ohh god " Cristina muttered. Derek threw a sob forgetting that her brain was still exposed. " Dr Shepard " a nurse asked, with new gloves in her hands, Derek nodded and looked up staring at Richard. He out on his new gloves and went back to work.

Mark and Lexie were staring at the ceiling, they could hear the flatlining sound, Lexie was sobbing. Then the Mark noticed that his phone was about to die soon. He looked at Lexie then back at the phone and it turned off. " what? What happened? " Lexie said trying to turn it back on. " it died " mark said being her in a hug. " mark? " Lexie whispered,
" I'm right here lex "
" no I need you to go and see what happened with Meredith "
" but-"
" no mark I need to know if my sister is alive "
" ok " he said kissing her on the head and leaving the room. Lexie prayed that she would be ok
In the O.R
Mark walks by in the gallery still hearing the flatlining. He goes in and sees Cristina on her knees, Alex by the window, Richard and Bailey crying. He looks down and stares at Derek than at Meredith, he threw a big thump onto her chest. Her heart pressure is stabilized, oh thank god he thought. He looked at Derek and saw how stressful this was for him and turned to Bailey, " Bailey can you um update Lexie on this she is freaking out " he says, Bailey nodded. Mark walked out of the room.
Derek got his act going on together again, he picked up his instruments and saw as the scrub nurse suctioned all around her brain. " it's beautiful " he thought, such a small person can also have the most beautiful brain. When all the obvious bleeding had stopped Shepard stopped and relaxed, he looked at the time it's has already been 2 1/2 hours since he started. He took a deep breath in and let it out just as Mark comes in the O.R, " Shep! you ok" he asked, " I'm doing alright, you? " he said looking back at the brain of his wife.
" do you need me to help " mark asked being here for his friend. " no mark I'm ok, I just want you to stitch it up her head at the end of that ok "
" yea I was gonna do that anyway " he said chuckling.
Mark looked up to see that Bailey had left, Cristina and Alex were worried out of their mind and Richard was trying to stay calm.
He walked over and asked the nurse to take over, the nurse left and he was suctioning. " what are you doing Sloan " Derek asked,
" I was bored so I came here to make fun of you " Derek gave him a scary glare, " I'm kidding I just thought you wanted to have the company " he said smiling behind the mask. " suction " he said with his glassy eyes. Mark chuckled and did it. Derek felt like some weight was off his shoulders when Mark was comforting him. " she lost a lot of blood " Mark whispered, " Can we hang some blood " He said out loudly.  " She lost more than half of her blood volume " Derek said to Mark, " really? she has like half a gallon of blood in her whole body" mark said jokingly. Derek laughed.
He put his instruments down and saw mark suctioning the last of the bleed. He put the suction down and they both stared waiting to see if it will bleed again.  " no bleeding " Derek said proudly. He started to close once he put the skull back in he handed his instruments to Mark.
He grabbed the headlight and started to suturing. " Sloan don't leave a scar " he said talking off his gloves. " Dude, I am the best plastic in the west coast! No one can do better sutures than me " Mark said.
Derek slid against the wall letting a tear come down his cheek. He put his head through his hands and took a big breath. " Derek calm down! She will be fine " Mark said looking at him
Derek just nodded and looked up in the gallery. Richard giving him a nod. " Derek you should go get some rest" he said cause he didn't see him sleep in days. " no I can't what if she codes  again. I need to be with her " he said playing with his fingers. Mark continued suturing Meredith head up. Derek got up and grabbed the drap off Meredith's face, Her lips were starting to get blue, she was pale and intubated. His fingers started to play  with her skin. " all done " he said cutting the last suture.