"Not our fault Lukes fat." (UNEDITED)

Windows

Light seeps through the hotel room curtain, landing but of course right on my face. 

"Stupid light." I mumble as I put my hands up to block out the death rays hitting my face, but my hands hit something soft which whispers 'ow!' 

I open my eyes immediately at that and look beside me to see a soft and pouting Calum.

"Cal?" My voice wavers slightly but I just surge myself forward and into Calums soft and warm chest, I wrap my arms around his shoulder and I wince slightly at the sight of the new bandages, which means someone changed them while I was sleeping and saw all of the cuts. 

The hotel bed isn't that big so looking around the double bed I see Ashton was curled up behind me and Michael is on the other side of Calum, both of which are asleep and judging by the obvious dark circles under their eyes? I would say they need it. 

"Oh baby i'm so glad we found you." Calum breathes into my neck, placing a soft kiss as well.

I just nod my head and cuddle in further, Calum doesn't seem to mind and just pulls me into him.

"We'll get through this Luke don't worry we all love you so much baby." 

I'm pulled back into someone else's chest which i'm guessing is Ashtons because he's behind me. 

"You need to cut your hair." I whisper as i'm turned around and met with a face full of golden brown curls.

"You need to kiss me." He answers with an almost smirk in his voice, I happily comply and give him a quick peck on the lips, but as soon as I do I hear a groan from across the bed.

"No fair! If Ash gets kisses then you have to give everyone some." I look around to see Michael sitting up with an adorable frown on his lips and his eyebrows turned down to show how unhappy he is about what he's seeing. 

"Sorry Mikey." I say leaning out of Ashtons grip and over Calum to kiss Michael, the sorry is a bit deeper than I think all of us know and I pull back after Calum gets flustered and wants his own kiss.

I think i'll get through this, with my boys.

8 MONTHS LATER

If you had told me 8 months ago that I would be in a happy relationship with 3 boys who mean the absolute world to me? I would have called you a liar.

I would have said I would never deserve a happy relationship.

I would have said that no one would want to be with me anyway.

I would have said that i'm going to die alone.

But its funny how things work out? After the boys found me we all went back to their hotel, we officially took a well deserved break and during that time the boys and I got closer on a different level. 

I'm not going to lie, there were some really really bad days, days where I thought it was the end, there was one particularly bad day where Michael found me in the bathroom with a bottle of pills, he talked me out of it.

And after a lot of talking and the boys convincing me it was only to help me I did eventually go to therapy.

For the first few sessions I was scared to go alone, so I had at least one boy come with me to every session, I had it 4 times a week, her names was Mrs Jones and twice a week I would go to her office in the main part of Sydney and the other two times she would come to the flat I shared with the boys. 

She was nice enough, a short lady with delicate hands that would rest upon her clipboard with all of my medical information and any notes she took during our time. I stopped seeing her a month ago, I now only go once a fort night and she come to me. 

We're back off our break, we only really had 3 months off and even then we were writing songs and recording, just no shows or interviews with cameras. 

Obviously not everything is going to be better, it hasn't even been a year yet, sometimes I'll wake up in the morning, take off my shirt and look into the mirror and just see everything I hate. 

My blonde hair falling flat onto my face, my entire face covered in acne and my stomach hanging out over my shorts. Its these times that I think hurt the most, but thats the comforting thing about being in a relationship, anytime I feel like this, looking into that mirror with nothing but hate for myself? A warm body will press itself into my back and wrap their arms around my stomach as another comes to kiss my shoulder tenderly, and of course another one of my perfect boyfriends will pull me back to bed and the day will be lost to soft kisses and laughing about how the worlds a messed up place but we're all safe because we have each other.

My life's not perfect and i've come to terms with that, but I must say, I am definitely happier.

END

A/N this is the last chapter everyone! i hope you enjoyed this story (although it was only meant to be a oneshot) if you want to see any of my other stories or one shots you can go to my archive of our own account which is just 5secondsoftumblr and I hope you all have a fabulous day! :) xxxxxxxx