If You Miss It

39. promises

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

PROMISES

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"Dmitri."

Oh god.

"Hey. Dmitri."

Jesus fucking—

"Dmitri, are you awake?"

Lazily blinking his eyes open, Dmitri squinted in Tariq's direction, rubbing his eyes once, then twice.

Tariq was always, always the most human in the mornings, and Dmitri always loved it. He didn't think he ever stopped loving it. Because the crease lines on his face, the sleep behind his eyes that never really disappeared until he had his coffee, the hoarse voice that sounded like he had run a fucking marathon, and the thankful smile that appeared on his face when he had a good night— all those things were so strongly Tariq that Dmitri couldn't help but love him.

"Yeah," he mumbled, his body aching from the previous night that had blended into the early morning that had further blended into the sun rising. "God, Tariq, you're fuckin' wild. Jesus."

A small, lethargic grin broke out on Tariq's face as he hummed, reaching over to touch Dmitri's face like he had the previous night.

Then, he grinned wider and said, "That's what happens when I top, baby."

"Shut the fuck up," Dmitri muttered in response, shoving his face into his pillow and groaning, the previous night all coming back to him, less like actual events, more like drunken memories that all blurred into each other.

They had had sex. That much was burnt into Dmitri's memories. Everything else? A blur.

Wait. He loves me. He told me that, I think. Does he?

"The fuck did we even do last night?" Yawning, Dmitri glanced at Tariq, just briefly, but that was enough for him to know that Tariq did, in fact, love him. The look in his eyes was exactly the same look that Dmitri remembered from years ago, except now, it was more.

So much more.

Laughing softly, Tariq just shrugged in bed, and that was when Dmitri knew that he was about to give him a whole ass essay on what they had done the previous night.

And he was proven correct, when Tariq said, "Had sex, ate a granola bar together because you were hungry, had some more sex, fell asleep, woke up because I was hungry this time, accidentally woke Eden and Trinh up because of how much you were laughing at my inability to eat without making a mess, watched a French, action movie without subtitles even though neither of us know French and both of us hate action movies, and finally, you fell asleep on me halfway through the second one."

For a second, two seconds, Dmitri stared at Tariq. He just stared, watching as Tariq gave him a lazy smile, one that revealed only a fraction of his teeth, but was still enough to give Dmitri butterflies. Or maybe they were fireworks, he wasn't sure.

"I fell asleep on you?" Dmitri muttered, slowly pushing himself upright in bed and exhaling, the whole night rushing back to him. As well as the events that took place before they got back home.

Fuck, I cried. Wait, why did I cry?

Tariq smiled, sitting up as well and rubbing his eyes, in turn, smudging his already smudged eyeliner. Fuck me. "I loved it, don't worry," he assured, but Dmitri could only focus on one word. Love.

That word kept coming up, and it was so fucking unreal that it meant something more than a one-way street now. *lDoes it? Or did I imagine that?