You Won't Remember

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        When I was really little, I used to imagine what it would be like to be able to fly. I had convinced myself that the only way to do so was to become a ghost. I had no idea what a ghost was, but it didn't seem like a terrible thing. When I was 14, I remembered this idea that I used to have. I thought being a ghost would be better than being alive, but I was afraid of death.

        You see, when people want to kill themselves try to, chances are they don't actually want to die. I'm terrified of death. Death has followed me around my entire life, breathing down my neck, tugging on my hair, shoving me around. But I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

         "I don't want to die." I choked out. I felt like I was dying. I probably was dying. I'm dying. "I don't want to die." I started to sob, choke, hyper-ventilate. "I promise you won't." Death. That son of bitch is back. " I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" I screamed. "All you have to do is wake up. Simple as that." It mocked. "I will." I called out. "I know you will darling." And then she was gone. Death was beautiful, but she couldn't stand to give me the luxury of taking her hand and coming with her. I hate Death. I will not die.

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        "Rielin?" Her eyes shifted beneath their lids. "Hi." She smiled up at him, her squinting at the flourescent lighting. "What happened?" She asked. Jack chuckled. "If I knew, I would tell you." She smiled again, but her eyes stayed closed now. "Where are we?" "The hospital." Her eyes popped open. "Again? God, it feels like something's always wrong with me." She laughed, but stopped and began to cough."Shh. Emily will be here soon. Do you remember anything?" She shook her head. "You passed out while we were driving home. The doctors aren't sure why though. Do you know why?" Rielin shook her head. "I can't remember anything. I'm sorry." She whispered. Rielin was scared, because she really and truly could not remember anything to save her life. "You should sleep, I'll go wait for Emily, sound good?" Rie nodded. "Thank you," she said, grabbing onto Jacks hand. "I mean it." Jack just looked at her softly, then bent down and lightly kissed her. She didn't want it to end. "Get some rest." He said, and then he was gone.

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        "You're quite beautiful when you sleep." She whispered. "What do you want?" Rielin asked, confused. "I want you to stop blaming me. Your brother made his choice, you made your choices, your mother didn't ask. I don't do the things that I do because I think someone desrves it, I do it because I must report to those above me, and you darling, are not." She hissed through white teeth. Rielin grabbed her head in her hands. Black surrounded her, a single ray of light shining above her, but it wasn't strong enough for her to see the face. "I'm going insane. They're going to put me in a mental ward. Oh my goodness, I'm going crazy." Rieling rambled, the light flickered, the voice laughed a demented thing, Rielin was going crazy. "Wake up child, and you will not remember." "But I-" and then her eyes opened, and Emily's smiling face greeted her.

         "I've never been so happy to see you in my entire life." Rielin said, throwing her arms around her sisters neck. "Let's go home, yeah?" Emily suggested. Rielin nodded. "Lets."

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HEY OH MY GOODNESS IM SO BAD AT THIS HOLY SHIT WOW OK

 Anyways, so i'm actually trying to pass a kidney stone right immediately now (Idk if I spelled that right.) so yeah I hope I get through this

I LOVE YOU ALL OH MY GOD SFVPAJNVPOAJDSVV yOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND HANDSOME AND FLAWLESS Love you guys!

-M

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