Ryan gently squeezed my hand when Dr. Childre stepped out of the back hallway and called my name. "You sure you don't need me to come with you this time?" he gently asked me.
Swallowing thickly, I nodded my head, tightening my grip on his hand for a moment before I forced myself to relax. "I'll be okay." I drew in a deep breath. "You promise you're not leaving, right?"
He cupped the side of my neck and brushed his thumb over my jaw. "I'll be right here, sweet girl. Not going anywhere. I promise."
I nodded and stood up, forcing myself to release my hold on his hand. Then, with a lot more bravery than I felt, I slowly made my way to Dr. Childre. She smiled warmly at me. "I'm very proud of you for taking this step on your own this time, Anna. That takes a lot of courage."
"I'm nervous," I told her honestly as we walked toward her office. I wrung my fingers in front of me, suddenly wishing I hadn't tried to be strong and had asked Ryan to come back here with me.
We stepped into our office, and she waited until we were both seated before she spoke. "Anna, it's okay to be nervous. In fact, if you weren't, I'd be a little concerned. But after today, you'll see there's nothing to be nervous about. The only thing that's going to be different from last time is that Ryan isn't with you."
I drew in a slow, deep breath and closed my eyes, taking a moment to get myself together just as she'd taught me during my last therapy session. When I opened my eyes again, I nodded. "Okay," I said quietly, "let's do this."
She beamed at me, and pride stirred in my chest.
I could do this.
~*~*~
Ryan was waiting for me in the same chair I'd left him in when I stepped out of the back. My eyes were swollen from crying, and I was exhausted, but the appointment had gone well despite me crying through most of it.
Dr. Childre said crying was good. It meant I was healing, even if it hurt.
He jumped up from his seat and cupped my face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over my cheeks. "You've been crying. Are you okay?"
I nodded, yawning right after. "I'm fine. It was just a bit of a tough session, but a good one. Can I wait in the car?"
He nodded and pulled the keys from his pocket before dropping them in my hand. I closed my eyes and leaned against him a little when he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I'll be out as quick as possible," he promised me.
I nodded and headed out the door. Once I was in the car and had it started, I shut my eyes, letting sleep claim me. I was too tired to do much of anything else.
~*~*~
Ryan
I peeked into the car before opening the door, a soft smile tilting my lips at the sight of Anna. She was asleep, her lips softly parted, my jacket covering her. It had taken a little longer than I'd hoped for to check her out since the person in front of me was having billing issues. She must have gotten cold and grabbed my jacket from the back.
I quietly slipped into the driver's seat, and once I was buckled, I backed out of the parking spot and headed toward the highway to get us home. She needed rest, and I needed to make dinner. Maybe after she'd had a small nap, she'd be open to watching a movie with me.
It was something we hadn't done together in a good minute, and I wanted to spend some quality time with her.
I frowned as I eased to a stop at a red light, my mind flickering to my brother. Would he really have wanted me to be with her? I was a firm believer in people visiting others in dreams, but what did it mean that he'd visited her but hadn't visited me?
He told her I needed her here, which was true. But I didn't need her here because I was scared of losing my last piece to him.
I needed her here because without her, I wasn't sure if I could continue living.
Her death would devastate me. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to move on from her.
Blowing out a soft breath, I put my foot to the gas pedal when the light turned green again.
I would have Anna in anyway she decided to let me have her. And if she one day decided she wanted to be mine, I'd never let her go, and I'd do my best to treat just as well as Ross had.
~*~*~
I gently lifted Anna from the car. She moaned in protest, her sleepy eyes cracking open. I kicked the car door shut and strode toward the house. "Go back to sleep, sweet girl. I'm just putting you to bed."
She nodded and dropped her head to my shoulder, easily falling back asleep again. I gently laid her on our bed and slid her shoes off of her before I pulled the blankets over her. She snuggled into them, mumbling something that sounded like "thank you", and promptly passed out again.
A movie was probably off the table, but that was fine. We could watch a movie tomorrow when I got off work.
I slipped from the room, leaving the door cracked, and headed to the kitchen to start dinner.
And try to figure out the mess in my head so I wouldn't accidentally push Anna into something she might not be ready for yet.
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