My therapy appointment yesterday wore me out so much that I came home and slept the rest of the day, only waking up long enough to eat the food Ryan made for dinner. It was currently almost lunchtime, and I was just now rolling out of bed.
I padded barefoot to the bathroom and got a quick shower before going to fix myself a cup of coffee and a slice of toast. Just like I always did, I sent a picture of my breakfast to Ryan.
Anna: Eating breakfast.
Ryan: Sweet girl, it's lunch time lol
Anna: *eyeroll emoji*
Ryan: Proud of you, sweet girl. I'll be home a little later than normal. Late practice. Got a big game on Friday, and I need to make sure the teams is ready.
Anna: Have fun. I'll be here.
Ryan: Like I'd ever expect you'd be anywhere else. *wink emoji*
I smiled down at my phone before slowly eating my toast. Then, I sipped at my coffee, watching the leaves slowly fall outside, the wind carrying them a little before they hit the ground.
I loved Fall. I used to love it because it was a season of being reborn. Everything died to grow new again in a few months. Nature just needed time to rest.
Was that what I needed, too? Just some time to rest?
I looked down at my now empty coffee mug, making a spur of the moment decision.
Anna: How late is practice going to run?
Ryan: About seven. Everything okay?
Anna: Everything's fine. I promise. Just wondering.
Ryan: *heart*
I quickly got up from my stool and washed my dishes, putting them away before I went into the bathroom. Today, I was getting out of the house. I was going to go outside and get some fresh air and step back into the world again. I'd been hiding long enough.
I'd had my time of rest. It was time for me to start again.
~*~*~
I leaned on the fence, a beanie on my head against the biting cold, my biggest jacket wrapped around me. My fuzzy, warm boots were on my feet. It was colder than it normally was, and it felt so good in my lungs.
Ryan blew his whistle and jogged across the field to two of the players, showing them where they messed up and where to correct. Then, he jogged back to the sidelines and called the play. The assistant coach that I didn't know the name of looked my way and then nudged Ryan. Ryan muttered something I didn't catch, but the assistant coach shook his head, saying something else.
Ryan looked in my direction, a scowl on his face, but then that scowl immediately dropped and a wide grin took its place. He called for a break and jogged over to me. "Hey, sweet girl. Surprised you came out."
I shrugged. "Thought some fresh air might do me some good. The cold always did make me a little bit happier."
He chuckled, reaching out to cup my cheek, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. Then, he reached up and tugged my beanie a little bit lower. "Don't want you catching a cold." He looked behind him then looked back at me. "Want to come sit on the bench and watch? I don't like the idea of you standing here the entire time."
I smiled at him. "Sure. How do I get in here again?"
He chuckled and grabbed my hand, holding it over the fence as he led me around to the gate to get inside. Once I was in the gate and it was locked again, I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. His arms instantly folded around me, and he buried his face in my hair.
"You have no damn idea how proud I am of you for coming out here," he whispered.
"One step at a time," I said quietly.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "One baby step at a time," he corrected.
I slowly released him, looking up at him beneath my lashes. Something flickered in his eyes, but I couldn't catch what it was before it disappeared again. He just smiled at me like I was the entire world and grabbed my hand again. "Come on. I need to get back into practice."
I followed him over to the bench. The assistant coach held his hand out to me once I was seated and Ryan was back out on the field, giving more instructions and suggestions for improvement. "Jake Carwell. You must be Anna Waters. Heard a lot about you."
I flushed, shaking his hand. "All good things, I hope?"
Jake chuckled. "The way Ryan tells it, you're the epitome of everything good in this world, so I'd say so."
My mouth dropped open in shock, my cheeks warming despite the chilling wind that suddenly whipped around me. Jake just winked and blew his whistle, his eyes on the players on the field.
Ryan arched a brow at me as he came back over. "What did he say to you?" he instantly asked, his tone laced with suspicion.
I giggled—actually giggled. God, it had been so long since I'd felt like I could freely laugh about anything. And sure, guilt rose in my chest when I remembered Ross could never laugh about anything again, but I pushed it aside.
He wanted me to move on.
I was trying to.
"Nothing," I told him.
Ryan rolled his eyes. "It was something. Otherwise, you wouldn't look like a cherry tomato."
I scowled at him. He grinned at me. "If you must know, he told me you think I'm the epitome of all things good."
Ryan's smile softened. "Because you are, sweet girl."
Be still, my heart.
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