Our complicated love story

Ch.2.1 Venturing into the unknown

Venturing into the unknown
Ch.2.1

Nathan's pov

Ever since that kiss it feels like everything has changed. I don't know how I let that happen nor did I understand how Theo got the courage to do that.

I never knew he had those kinds of feelings for me just like I do.

I always thought he hated me a lot which I guess is still true but I never thought that was the case.

When did he start feeling that way? Wanting to kiss me like that? I don't remember him being that shy around me.

Maybe it happened after the kiss. I did notice that things changed afterwards. If I remember correctly, he said it was his first kiss so maybe it did something to him.

I mean I had my first kiss when I was still 10 years old and I don't even remember who it was with. Stuff like that has never been important to me but maybe it is for Theo.

Knowing how he is, such things mean a lot more to him than he admits. I can totally understand why he feels embarrassed that his first kiss was with me, of all people.

Despite it, it makes me happy actually. A sense of pride that I was his first. The first kiss of mister goody two shoes how perfect is that? Just like how perfect he is.

Though things have changed, it doesn't change the fact that I harbour hatred towards him. That'll never change. You can love and hate someone at the same time just like I do with Theo.

The fact he is still so perfect will always piss me off and that won't change. He's so different compared to me so I can't help but be annoyed by him. He's the goody two shoes and I'm the bad boy. Pretty fitting.

Honestly, I don't actually regret letting him kiss me and that I kissed him back on Sunday. It was everything I dreamed of, for years on end.

Though I don't know about him. He seemed to regret it at first but...his face really said otherwise. I just think he was confused about everything.

I mean hating someone so passionately but wanting to be touched in a naughty way at the same time must be damn confusing.

I got my share of confusion over the years but I for used to feeling those two feelings at the same time.

Maybe it's pretty new for him and that would explain why he's so confused.

If he never kissed someone before, for sure he didn't do anything else. Surprisingly, he never did. I guess he's just hiding the fact he's gay or else I'm sure plenty of guys would go running at him.

As crazy as everything is right now, it feels like a beast is awakening in me. It feels like I can't stop. I just want more! More than just a simple kiss!

It feels like we pushed some boundaries. It's also some kind of boundaries that makes it that we can't go back to before. I can't back up from that.

Once a beast awakens, it always stays awake and you can't get rid of it until you tame it.

Even if I'm completely lost in whatever this is, I'm aware that it's ridiculous that I'm throwing away almost 10 years of hatred shared with Theo just for a kiss.

It's crazy how things change quickly but I have every intention to explore whatever this is. I can't back up now. I'll make sure Theo can't either.

I kinda promised last time that we'll go all the way and I have every intention to do so.

I really want it even if I've never done it with a guy before, I feel ready. I am confident in this. I'll lead mister goody two shoes.

I hate him so much that I want to f**k his brain out, that bad.