The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 29 - Clichè is the way

RECAP

I inhaled deeply, holding back the tears that were prickling behind my eyes as I crossed my arms, trying to protect myself because, suddenly, out of the blue, I felt not just powerless, but broken ... broken because he'd annihilated my every ounce of strength with those kisses and I ... no, no, no, I can't feel, no ... I've just reached my goal, Kyle kissed me and even asked me out, I can't ... had to take another deep breath before I could be able to talk without giving away my emotions.

Eventually, I nodded, slipping away as I put some more distance between us, as, something inside me warned, I should have done since the beginning.

Arms still crossed, I nodded once more, swallowing and trying desperately to hold back my tears, wanting to assure him it was all ok,that he didn't have to think I wanted more,because I didn't,I understood it was just...a pastime for him.

Yet all I managed to say before running away was: "Bye, Eric."

CHAPTER 29 - CLICHÈ IS THE WAY

ERIC'S POV

I'm a damn idiot. A complete and utter idiot. Why the hell did I do that? Why?! I just couldn't resist. When this morning I saw her kissing that jerk while just the other day I'd done the same with her, like even that very light kiss meant nothing to her, I was so mad, so fuming that I skipped half of my classes not to risk snapping at the teachers or worse, I spent time alone to try and calm myself down, I released my adrenaline by punching the bag I have hung on the rooftop, but even when I managed to calm myself down at least a bit, I saw her beside my car, waiting for me, and while part of me wanted to run to her, reach for her, because I needed her, getting closer and closer images of her kissing that brat hammered in my mind and anger seeped through me, which is why I snapped at her ...

Because I've been ... goddamn, I've been loving her since 8 years and, not only did she never even acknowledge me till I became what I became, but then she's been avoiding me, afraid of me ... it made me feel frustrated that I loved her, I have been loving her with my whole damn heart for eight years and she barely even noticed me!

And, to top it all, I was losing her once for all to the benefit of that idiot, who, I'm sure, will only hurt her ... that's why I was so rude with her, but then she looked so upset and ... I can't see her like that, not because of me.

But when I touched her all my control went out of the window and I had to feel more of her ... I got carried away, things slipped away from my grip and I even gave her a damn hickey! That was my possessive side, my worst side, claiming her as mine and mine only, which she isn't, I know she isn't ... and that drives me insane.

Cursing, I stepped in my car. Maybe if I move now I'll be able to reach her ... but what for? God, the look in her eyes when she said bye ... she tried to hide it, but the hurt was too clear in her eyes. And the worst is, I did that. I! Not that jerk, not ... anybody, it was me! I hurt her. God, I've been keeping at distance just not to and yet I did!

Took me hours of wearing myself out in the gym before I managed to have the guts to swallow my own pride and head to her place ... to beg for her forgiveness if necessary.

I know,I cannot be in her life,but neither can I stand her being cross with me or worse,hurt because of me.

It was past seven pm already when I reached her porch. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. A very beautiful woman in her late thirties opened the door almost instantly.

"Hi." She greeted, smiling brightly, which made me sure that this was Natalie's mother, no doubt about it, because she had her same bright and captivating smile. I managed to just nod in response.