"I'm worried about you," Dave said.
We were in his office, him behind his desk and me sitting on a chair in front of it. I felt trapped under his gaze, I put my arms around myself and slid down the chair a bit. I didn't feel like being put under a microscope today, any less by David Rossi.
"Why?"
"You're distracted, have been for weeks now," he tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes at me. And when I didn't answer him, he continued, "how long has it been since you slept?"
"Penelope was shot, Dave, I'm not sleeping until we catch that asshole."
"You're no help if you can't think straight," he said. "Have you visited her?"
Penelope had been released from the ICU and was going home in a couple of days.
I cleared my throat, "no, it's been four days and we have absolutely no leads, there's no time."
"Everyone's made time, you can too," I knew he tried to be gentle, it didn't work.
"Don't guilt trip me, Dave," I snapped.
"I'm not," he defended himself quickly.
"We just have so much to do, we still have to establish the profile."
"Are you sure that's it?" He had that sparkle in his eyes, like they held all the secrets in the world behind them.
"What is this? An interrogation?" I stood up, not really sure why I suddenly felt very warm. "Leave me alone and let me do my fucking job," I said before storming out of the room.
I went to sit at my desk where Spencer was currently reading through some files. I turned on my chair so that I had my back to him, which gave me a clear view of the briefing room where Aaron was discussing something with JJ and Seaver. I felt the urge to run towards him, but I took a deep breath and restrained myself.
I wanted to act strong and nonchalant, but I just couldn't, I felt drawn in. For a split second, my eyes met his. He didn't show it but I knew he saw how desperate I was for his presence, my eyes always gave me away when it came to him. But as quickly as he had looked up, he looked back at Seaver.
I sighed and turned to face Spencer, "anything?"
"This guy is a cipher," he answered. "No prints at the scene, no shell cases, the cellphone he used to call her was disposable, we ran the sketch through ViCAP and nothing."
I sighed.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Spencer leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.
"Yeah, sure."
"How did you know that you loved Hotch?" He asked.
I was taken aback by the question, why would he be thinking about that right now? I frowned and looked down at the floor. I could be who I truly was with him, I could let my personality breathe, and even though I wasn't perfect, we were perfect for each other.
I shrugged, "I guess I just felt it, in my whole body." I looked up at him, he had a small smile on his face. "You know, love is an emotion that comes quietly, it becomes part of the oxygen that you breathe," I said. "So I wasn't entirely sure that it was there, until he was removed from me and my emotions began to choke."
"So you're saying, that if I can't breathe without her, it's love?" He asked.
"It could be, why?"
He shrugged, "just curious."
"Hey," I looked up and saw Aaron standing against the railing, "briefing room," he said and walked away as swiftly as he had come.
I walked with Spencer up the small set of stairs. "This better be some good news because I'm losing my fucking mind here," I murmured as we entered the room.
I sat down next to JJ and Spencer sat down next to me, with Seaver on his left and Dave next to her.
"Go ahead, Morgan," Aaron said into his phone. He was standing by the boards with his hands on his hips, he was frustrated, much like everyone else on the team.
"He sat them at a table in the corner, probably so that he'd have a view of the whole restaurant, he was wearing a fake Rolex, trying to impress her," Morgan started. "He told her he was a city attorney, he talked about losing murder cases and people getting away for other people's incompetence."
"City attorneys don't try murder cases," Spencer said. "He knows enough to use legal terminology, but he's not actually a working lawyer."
"I think we're looking at someone who failed out of law school or didn't pass the bar," Morgan said through the phone.
"Did he give Garcia any specifics on the cases he was supposedly working on?" JJ asked.
"No specifics," Morgan answered.
"If he failed out of the system it could explain why he's got a working vocabulary and not much more," Aaron said.
"Could also explain the anger," I added, "even in his lie he rails against other people's incompetence."
"Well, he's clearly a narcissist," Dave said. "The clothes, the watch, the subtle hints of where he went to school," he took a breath. "He's faking humility when he's saying New Haven and Cambridge, instead of Yale and Harvard."
"JJ, we need an analyst who can, uh, put our information through our legal databases," Aaron said and she nodded.
***
I started to type on Penelope's computer, with JJ looking over my shoulder.
"Remind me why you're doing this again?" JJ asked.
"Hey, I'm no Garcia but I've hacked a computer once or twice," I huffed and logged into the database.
"Yes, but getting into the computer isn't our problem here."
I shrugged, "I'll figure it out."
"I just hope you know what you're doing," she said.
"I don't, but I'm taken to believe that's the point," I answered.
"Um, no, not at all," she frowned at me. "You've drastically misread the situation."
"JJ, you are a small piece of dynamite disguised as sugar, have some faith, will you?"
"I don't know how to respond to that," she laughed.
"See, it's like she never left."
"I think we should wait for the other technician," JJ sighed after a while.
"What? I'm doing my best here," I frowned.
"Move," I heard a voice say and I stood up immediately.
"I'm up," I said and put my hands up in surrender.
The guy that yelled at me sat down by the keyboard and started typing furiously. Aaron walked to stand behind him, his arms crossed over his chest.
"What were you doing?" He asked.
"Oh, me?" I breathed, "just checking some stuff."
"Stuff?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the computer screen.
"Yeah, Penelope's not the only one who wants Prince William's phone number," I smirked.
He didn't look amused.
"Okay, I think they got this," I clapped my hands together and followed JJ out of the room.
"Prince William?" She raised her eyebrows, "I saw you as more of a Harry kind of girl."
"Please," I rolled my eyes, "no way."
We walked into the bullpen and immediately noticed a man in a suit in the briefing room, packing up our boards, tearing down our pictures, our notes. Spencer and Seaver were in there, clearly trying to communicate with the man. We hurried into the room, slamming the door open.
"Hey!" I yelled. "What the hell are you doing?" I grabbed the papers from his hands.
"You've been dropped from the case, Agent," he said and snatched the papers back.
"Excuse me?" I furrowed my eyebrows, "why?"
"We found an encrypted file on your analyst's computer."
"What? We were in there like ten seconds ago," I argued.
"What can I say? We work fast," the man said.
"Is this really necessary?" Spencer asked.
"It's protocol, so yes, it is necessary," the suit said as he continued to take down pictures. "Mr Lynch will do an audit of Miss Garcia's computer, and I will oversee the investigation," he sighed and turned around.
"Wow, that's very comforting," I narrowed my eyes at him.
"A federal employee was just gunned down, and you make it seem like investigating her is more important than finding out who shot her," JJ said, giving him a nasty look.
"That's not true, the police have jurisdiction," he said calmly. "And trust me, I will offer them the full force of the FBI to solve this case."
"With all due respect, sir, the BAU is part of that force," I crossed my arms over my chest and took a step closer to him.
"Look, I'm sorry, I realize how hard this must be," he said.
"But?" Seaver asked.
"But the first thing you look at is victimology, correct?" He looked at me and then at JJ, we nodded. "The bureau needs to know what she's involved in and whether it has to do with why she was shot."
"She's not involved in anything," JJ said quickly, but not very confidently.
"And you're certain of that?" He asked and put one hand on his hip
"Absolutely," I felt heat rising to my cheeks, I needed to get out of there.
I gritted my teeth and walked out of the room and my fists were clenched at my sides.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
"Alex, are you okay?" I stopped walking and turned around, it was Seaver.
"I really don't want to talk right now," I pressed my lips into a thin line to try to keep from screaming.
"I think that we should do as he says," she said.
I shook my head in disbelief, "no offense, but no one asked for your opinion."
"I'm sorry, but other cases need our attention," she crossed her arms over her chest and gave me an apologetic look.
This bitch, can you believe her?
"Sorry, Seaver, but you won't get very far on this team with an attitude like that," I said through gritted teeth. "You heard Aaron, we don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this, we don't just walk away from something that we know we can solve, it's not how this team works."
And then I walked away from her.