D E A T H E A T E R
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I wish you never knew. Apparently, ignorance is bliss. ~ Draco
Mal's POV
We had all returned from winter break and been back for a couple weeks now. Fred had written to me about how their burrow had burned down and I regretted not being able to see him since he was busy with his own family. However, now with the swing of things coming back in school, Hermione was happier than ever after Ron had called for her in the hospital a week or so ago. I told you it would happen. About damn time.
"I'm going to the loo, I'll be back." I told Mione and Ginny quickly as soon as I saw Snape heading over to chastise me for not sitting with my house. I do this all the time, why is this still a problem?
"Hurry back." Mione urged me and I nodded to her.
I finished up in the loo and started heading back to the table when "Aaahh!" I winced in pain and stumbled, attempting to hold onto the wall.
Draco. Something is wrong with Draco. Someone is hurting him. I groaned in pain again and doubled over, falling onto the ground. Get up. You have to find him. But where could he be? Then it occurred to me: Harry. Harry was mad and he had that look on his face before I left. I have to find them. I forced myself off the floor and held my wand in my hand, preparing myself for whatever it is I might find.
I turned some corners and finally spotted Harry leaving the bathroom, with a flustered and panicked look on his face.
I went inside the bathroom and struggled to take in what I was seeing. Draco. On the floor. Bleeding out. I'm going to kill you Harry. I rushed over to Draco's side immediately.
"Draco? Draco? Can you hear me?" No response. I started gasping for breath, realizing he couldn't breathe either, and that's why I couldn't. How am I going to fix him? I mustered all the strength I could and attempted a spell I had read when I peeped inside the book Harry holds so close to him all the time. I'm curious, I couldn't help it. I knelt over Draco, holding onto my wand with one hand and started to chant, "Vulnera Sanentur" while I traced over all the injuries I could find. The blood he was losing started to slow down, I wiped my hand over Draco's face, continued to chant and felt relief start to flow over me as his wounds started closing and my pain started to go away as well.
Finally Draco opened his eyes and took a big gasp of air. I smiled and exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding in. Before I could stop myself I sat down on the floor, with my hands covering my face, trying to regain energy I had just lost from a powerful spell I was not ready for.
"Kat? What are you doing here? Are you alright? Potter didn't hurt you did he?" Draco cupped my face in his cold hand. I shook my head. He sighed a breath of relief at hearing I was fine. "You saved me. Thank you."
"Now you have to tell me, what is going on with you?" I asked him, needing to know why he had been so distant from me the past couple months. He dropped his hand from my cheek and stayed quiet, running his hand through his hair.
"I can't tell you." He said in a voice so quiet that if I wasn't sitting so close to him I probably wouldn't be able to hear him.
"Why not?" I asked him again, noticing how his gaze was now focused on the floor in front of him.
"You'll hate me. And I-- I can't have you hate me. I can't lose you." I took his face in both my hands and made him look at me.
"Listen to me Draco. I will never hate you. I love you too much to ever hate you." I tried to keep my eyes on his despite the vulnerability I had just expressed.
"See? You have so much faith in me... too much faith in me. You should lower your expectations. I'll never be this amazing person you believe me to be." He lowered his eyes and I grabbed his face to look at me again.
"You are a good person, deep down you know you are. Now tell me. What is it?"
He moved his cheek to lean more into my hand, much like a child would do if it wanted comfort. He stayed there for a couple seconds before finally sighing and holding my hands tightly, as if he was afraid I would leave. You'd think he would learn by now, I don't think I could ever leave. Not after everything that's happened these last 3 years.
Instead of saying anything he lifted the sleeve of his left arm and I found myself struggling to breathe again. The dark mark spread across his forearm. The death eater mark.
He is a death eater. The man I love is a death eater.
"Please say something." Draco's quiet voice brought me out of my thoughts and I realized I had no idea what to say.
Instead I lunged myself at him and wrapped my arms tightly around him, this is the only place I ever felt truly safe, in his arms, and I hope this feels the same way to him. My hopes are confirmed when he wraps his arms around me and pulls my body to sit on top of him, placed his chin on top of my head and inhaled deeply. The switch to coconut conditioner in my 3rd year might've been the best decision I've ever made. I pulled slightly away from him enough to hold his face in my hands.
"I am so sorry this happened to you mi amor. I am so sorry." I tried to blink away the tears threatening to escape as I tried to console my boyfriend. He started crying and I too shed a tear at seeing him break down in front of me. He wiped my tears with his thumb and pressed his lips to mine lightly.
"I hate that you're seeing me cry, it's making me feel weak."
"No. Crying isn't weak, because showing your emotions is one of the bravest things you could ever do." I reassured him.
"Thank you baby, thank you for understanding."
"We'll find a way to get you out of this. I don't know how, but I will. I promise." I wiped his tears away and tried to forget how much of a failure I am for not keeping the unbreakable vow I made six years ago.
"I hate my family. I know I shouldn't and I know it's wrong but I hate my family. I hate them for making me into this" he said the last word with disgust lacing his tone. I hate your family too. I hate that you never have a choice. I put my head on his chest and took comfort in his steady heartbeat. "Promise me." He said as he stroked my hair.
"Promise what?"
"That if this ever ends, we'll leave. We'll live somewhere far away from my family, far from your birth family, and no one from the wizarding world will know where we end up." I smiled a little at him talking about having a real future he's imagined with me.
"I promise."
"And we can live in the depths of England, far away from the chaos of our world, in some house that's just big enough for us, and it'll be close to a beach. It'll make us feel at home. And we'll have a library room, a big one, full of all the books you love, the ones that transport you places, Beauty & The Beast style." I smiled at hearing how he remembered the only fairytale I've ever tolerated. "And we can go to the beach and lay down to watch the sunset, and I'll just listen to you read and I'll play with your hair, it's my favorite activity." He leaned in to whisper in my ear, "other than, you know, the other activity we have fun doing." I blushed and hit his chest softly, glad to hear the light laughter erupting in his chest at the shyness I felt from his dirty remark.
"You've really thought about this in detail, haven't you?" I teased.
"It's the only thing that allows me to forget my family and the situation I'm in." He said nonchalantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Haven't you thought about our future?" I nodded shyly against his chest, I never in a million years thought you would be so open to talking about this. "What have you thought about it?"
"Well... a family." I basically whispered the words, terrified to actually say the fantasies I've been imagining out loud.
"A family no. Our family. We'll form one of our own. We'll have children, mini Katerinas running around." I laughed at his description.
"How many?"
"I want a big family, four in four?" He aimlessly traced circles on my arm with his finger.
"Four?! That's too many, and in four years?! Three max. And not in three years. I need at least a year in between to drink a little." He laughed lightly and nodded. "And I want to adopt, at least one adopted kid. For obvious reasons." I looked up at him and he smiled.
"Yeah, we'll have a boy and a girl."
I laughed. "I don't think we can pick the gender of our baby."
"Sshh. This is my fantasy. The girl will be named after her beautiful mother, Katerina." I smiled at the thought.
"No, that's too many Katerinas, my birth mother was one too, remember? Maybe we can do a derivative of that name, Katherine?" I offered.
"Katherine sounds nice." He nodded.
"And the boy will look just like his handsome father, with the blonde hair and everything." I nudged Draco slightly.
"Name?" He asked me.
"I'm not sure, we can decide later."
"Yeah, we will." He hugged me close to him and we stayed there for a while, fantasising about a future we would probably never have, but it's good to dream, it takes us away from the harshness of our reality.
I interrupted our moment a couple minutes later to ask him a question that had been burning in the back of my mind.
"So... does this mean I can move back in with you now?" Draco laughed at my doubts but nodded.
"I'll help you bring your stuff." He offered.
"Wouldn't expect any less from you." I turned to kiss him deeply, passionately, something we had rarely done in these past couple months of him distancing himself from me.
Finally. I finally know the truth, all of it. No more hiding, no more secrets, nothing.
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Again, how wrong I was to be so naive. I should've known better. Wherever Draco Malfoy is, there will always be secrets. ~ Mal
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