Chapter 14
Being in Aaden’s arms is overwhelming. I can’t get used to the feeling of absolute protection. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. While I continue to battle with my own conflicting emotions, I become more aware of his arms encompassing me and keeping me sheltered. It makes me feel safe—makes me feel like home.
The rain has started to let up and my emotional breakdown has subsided to quiet unsettled breathing. The side of my face still lies pressed against Aaden’s smooth chest and he continues to soothingly brush his hand through my wet hair, calming me down. I can feel the metallic symbol of his Everly necklace cutting into my cheek. It feels rough and frozen, just like the night I lost my mother’s.
Aaden’s a Scout; I remind myself with steady breathing. He’s only doing this—acting like he cares for me because it’s his duty to look after me and keep me safe. He doesn’t care for you the way you think he does, Anna. Aaden’s only focus is keeping you out of harm’s way and far from the Valdorian Scouts. I don’t think he ever thought I would be my own greatest enemy, punishing myself over and over again with the guilt that has bound my soul for so long.
I feel Aaden shifting against me, sensing my calmness. I close my eyes, knowing he’s about to release me from his embrace. I memorize the feeling of home and it’s as easy as recalling the events of my favorite storybook.
“Anna?” he asks softly. I warily lift my chin, my eyes meeting his. “Are you all right? You had me worried for a second.”
I gaze up into his eyes for a moment. “Yes,” I answer with a gentle nod. “I’m sorry about that…that you had to see me like that—that you had to see the parts of me that are still broken.”
He issues me a sympathetic smile. “It’s all right, and you’re not broken, Anna. Just a little wounded maybe.” I smile shyly at his analogy. “Whether you believe it or not, we all have a dark side hidden inside ourselves. The more we try to fight it the stronger it grows, until we can find the courage within ourselves to release it. Hopefully to someone we can trust.”
Aaden’s words turn over in my mind and I can’t help but wonder what monster he’s been battling within himself. My thoughts drift to that night on the bridge and how I may have witnessed a shred of this dark side he’s referring to.
The moment I knew was coming has inevitably arrived: Aaden drops his arms and steps back out of my personal bubble. I feel a wisp of cold air envelop around me and I shiver, realizing I’m still just wearing my bathing suit.
As I reach for my bag and pile of discarded clothes, Aaden says, “Anna, there’s something I need to show you.”
“What is it?” I ask curiously, pulling on my shorts and t-shirt. The clothes are still damp from earlier and I shiver again.
He rakes his hand back through his damp hair, but his expression tells me nothing. “Come inside,” he says, his tone serious. He slides open the glass door and gestures me to enter with his hand.
I eye him suspiciously as I pass in front of him and step into his living area. The space looks the same as it did the morning we ate breakfast together. As I take a seat on the couch, careful not to leave a wet spot with my damp shorts, Aaden walks passed me and into his bedroom.
I place my bag on the worn wooden floor next to my shriveled bare feet. This time, as I sit with my hands clasped anxiously in my lap, I glance around Aaden’s cozy home, searching for the pages of his story. There are no pictures hanging on the walls and all the surfaces are free from knick knacks and personal sentiments. Aaden doesn’t actually live here I remind myself. He’s only staying in this empty space until he can take us back to Everly.
To my right, I hear the bedroom door swing open and I turn my head to watch as Aaden emerges. He has changed into dry clothes: a pair of loose fitting khaki shorts and a sea green t-shirt with some surfing logo splayed across the front. This is the first time I’ve seen him wear a color other than grey or black. When he sits down beside me, I notice that the color of his t-shirt intensifies the green of his eyes. They are the color of jade and he catches me shivering in my drenched clothes.
“Here,” he says, grabbing a grey fleece blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping it around my shoulders. He rubs my arms through the material, trying to warm me up and all I can do is watch him.
“Thank you,” I utter as my skin begins to warm beneath his touch.
“No problem,” he says, stopping. My eyes stay locked on his, unable to look away and I begin to forget why I’m sitting here in the first place. Aaden has just watched me transform from being at my strongest, to being at my weakest in a matter of seconds, and he’s still sitting here beside me, not judging me or running away scared. Aaden is someone I can trust, I tell myself. He’s someone I can let within my walls.
“I meant for before,” I say, turning to look out the glass doors where the two of us once stood. “You didn’t have to do that.”
The rain is still misting outside, and I become fascinated by the web-like patterns of the water as it cascades down the glass. One lonely drop connects with another and together they find another, falling faster and more urgently down the glass until they disperse again at the bottom.
Still watching the rain wash down the window pane, I feel Aaden’s warm hand cover mine and turn to look over at him.
“I know I didn’t have to, Anna. I just did what felt right in my heart. Sometimes you can think more clearly if you turn off your mind and just listen to your heart.”
I know I’m guilty of thinking too much, planning too much and ignoring the messages my heart tries to send me. I think I just trust my mind more than I trust my heart. “I guess I have a hard time doing that,” I admit, looking down at our hands nestled in my lap. With my other hand, I play nervously with the strands of hair that have fallen loose from my ponytail. “Kayla was always better at following her heart than I was. I miss that about her.”
Aaden nods his head in response, understanding my sentiment. “I miss that about my mother, too.” He gives my hand a squeeze, acknowledging the loss we’ve both shared.
“I wish I could have met her, your mom,” I say carefully. “She sounded amazing.”
“She was.” Aaden bows his head, thinking about the mother he cherished and lost, and I find myself wanting to pull him into my arms and comfort him just like he did for me.
“How did she become so knowledgeable about all of this?” I ask, trying to find out more about how Aaden became the person he is.
“Experience, I guess.” He shrugs. “My father died when I was three. I don’t remember him,” he says with disappointment in his voice. “I suppose my mother had to learn who she was without him, and hold onto what she still had: me and my brother Sam.”
In the last ten seconds I’ve learnt so much more about Aaden, that I have difficulty focusing. I knew he lost his mother, but his father, too? Maybe we are more alike than I originally thought. There’s so much he knows about me and so little I know about him. I want to know more.
“What happened to your father?” I ask perhaps a little too eagerly. Aaden lets out a breath of air, readying himself to tell me his father’s story. “I’m sorry, Aaden. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I look over at him painfully, not wanting to upset him.
“I don’t mind,” he states, shifting towards me. Our hands are no longer touching, but it still feels like they are. “Like I said, I don’t remember him,” he starts, “but my mom and Sam would always tell stories and show me pictures of him, making sure I knew where I came from. My father was an honorable man and I know Sam always spoke well of him and looked up to him a great deal. It’s probably why Sam’s so proud to be a Wall Guardian, just like our father was.”
“A Wall Guardian?” I ask intrigued, clenching the fleece blanket between my hands.
Aaden grins at my overly interested expression. I’m sure I look like a small child who has just been told that dinosaurs used to roam the earth. It makes me think back to those times I would volunteer in my mother’s classroom. I used to be mesmerized watching her young students learn new things about the world. Their little faces would light up with curiosity when she told them stories they never heard before. As you grow older, the untold stories become fewer and fewer and suddenly the world doesn’t seem all that amazing anymore. Learning about a new universe where everything is new again, makes my heart feel young again.
“There’s a massive stone wall that encircles Everly, keeping our people safe from trespassers like Valdorians,” Aaden says, explaining with his hands. “My father’s duty as a Wall Guardian, was to patrol an assigned region of the Wall and defend it against intruders. It’s actually how he died.” He looks down at his hands for a moment, thinking about the father he never really knew. “Normally, Guardians aren’t permitted to patrol alone, but that night my father was by himself. There were Valdorian archers waiting for him in the trees that used to run along the outside of the Wall. He was ambushed and struck down before he even saw the arrow coming.” He pauses and I watch him closely. I’m sure it’s difficult telling a story that shaped the person you have become. “Following my father’s death, the Council cut down every tree that stood within two hundred feet of the Wall. Now, the empty space surrounding Everly always reminds Sam of our father and the night he died.”
“I’m sorry you lost your father, Aaden,” I say sympathetically, and he nods his head in appreciation. “Sam’s a Wall Guardian like your father?”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding his head again. “In Everly, outside of being a member of the Infinite Eight, a Wall Guardian is probably the most admirable post one can be given. I’ve been assigned to become one once we return to Everly. It’s kind of become a Cross family tradition.” Aaden looks over at me with clear eyes.
Being a Wall Guardian sounds dangerous and I begin to worry about him becoming one. “It sounds dangerous, aren’t you afraid?”
He looks at me quizzically for a second before smiling and saying, “After scouting you, I think I’ll be more than prepared.”
I laugh a little at his comment, and playfully punch him in the arm. He makes a face like I hurt him. So far, Aaden has shown me no signs of being scared of anything—unless you count the scene on the bridge the other night. But was he scared, or was it something else? Thinking back now, he appeared to be more distraught and upset than scared. I still find myself reliving that night atop the bridge and the promise he asked me to keep. He doesn’t want me to fall in love with him and I’m baffled to know why. Could the reason be because he’s going to become a Wall Guardian and the burden that entails? “Seriously, though,” I say, “you must be a little concerned.”
He sighs and falls back against the couch. “It’s duty,” he simply says. “There are certain regiments Everly has put in place to ensure its stability.” Aaden doesn’t look at me when he tells me this.
Sinking back into the soft corner of the couch, I curl my legs beneath me, interested to find out more about the place I’ll soon be calling home. “So, everyone has to comply with these regiments?” I ask. “Even if you’re a Descendant?”
Aaden’s eyes shoot up and lock on mine, and for a second I think he might actually look scared. “Yes.”
“Like what?” I’m interested to know what has Aaden so on edge.
He rakes his fingers back through his hair, thinking about what he’s going to tell me. I’ve been around Aaden long enough to know that gesture means he’s anxious about something. “Like living on the Infinite Eight compound that sits on top of a hill in the center of Everly… and the classes you’ll take at school, and the profession that has been specially selected for you to serve the township. You know, stuff like that.”
“No, I don’t know,” I say frustrated, shaking my head. Why do I have to keep pressing him for information about my supposed home? I’m an Everleen—the most prestigious of the Founding Families, so I’m told. He should have to tell me everything. “What are the names of the other houses?”
My question seems to relax him and he settles back against the couch. “The Founding Families of Everly, in order of most esteemed are The House of Everleen, Odair, Decklyn, Landon, Galligher, Morgan, Stark and Levato.” He lists them off on his fingers.
“What makes one family higher ranked than the other?”
“They’re listed in the order of the families that first past through the portal and settled Everly. The Everleen’s settled the land first, followed by the Odair’s and so on…One of my best friends belongs to Decklyn House,” he whispers so low I can barely hear.
Aaden looks down at his hands again, not wanting to meet my eyes. What isn’t he telling me? Maybe Everly’s rules and regiments have something to do with what Gram and Aaden are hiding from me?
“Is there something you’re not—”
“There’s something I wanted to show you, remember?” Aaden says, interrupting me and I sense he did it on purpose.
Our conversation about Aaden’s past and Everly has led us astray from the real reason he invited me into his home. I’m thankful to have learned more about Aaden and the people that have helped shape him into who he is. He’s not the arrogant and egotistical guy I thought he was. I’ve learnt that he is kind and compassionate when no one is watching, and that his difficult past has left scars on his heart.
“I’ve been keeping this safe for you,” he says, digging into his pocket. “I’ve wanted to give this back to you so many times, but I didn’t know how.”
I watch closely as he retrieves an object from his the pocket of his shorts. What is it? What object could be so important that he kept it safe all this time?
Aaden brings out his fisted hand and extends his arm out to me. I lean forward, anxious to know what lies beneath his clenched fingers. I look up at him, and for some reason my heart is beating fast in my chest. His face is serious, not in an upset kind of way, but in an apologetic kind of way.
I shift my eyes downward and watch as Aaden slowly releases his grasp on the object he’ holding in his hand. My eyes go wide and I stop breathing as my mother’s lost necklace lies piled in his palm. Its single sapphire stone glimmers in my eyes and the platinum finish is shinier than I remember. Flashes of that snowy winter night come crashing back, and I can remember the exact moment when I first saw Aaden. The first time I saw those icy-green eyes of his staring back at me. He knew what I was walking towards, and that he had just taken something sacred from me. It wasn’t a look of anger I saw across his face that night, it was a look of despair.
“I’m sorry, Anna,” he says gently. I know Aaden well enough to know he would never intentionally hurt me. There must be a reason why he took my mother’s necklace that night.
“Why?” I breathe, my eyebrows furrowed as I search his remorseful face. I gently take the necklace and hold it between my fingers, analyzing its delicate features. This is a piece of my mother.
Aaden swallows before he explains. “I didn’t want to, Anna. I debated doing it over and over in my mind until the very last moment, which is why you saw me passing you in the hallway. There were Valdorian Scouts around that night, and there was a high risk that they would come and steal it.”
“Why would they want to steal it?” I ask full of concern and disbelief.
“If one of them wears it, they could be mistaken for a Descendant, and be granted entrance into Everly. It’s happened before.”
I pass the necklace over and over between my trembling hands not believing it has found its way back to me. With my finger, I trace the never ending pattern of the infinity symbol just as tears begin to well in my eyes as I picture my mother wearing the very necklace I hold in my hands.
“Are you mad?” Aaden asks worried. “I don’t want you to think I betrayed your trust. I couldn’t bear losing you, Anna.” I recognize the unmistakable look of distress as it begins to fill his face.
What makes him think he’s going to lose me? I glance up and see Aaden’s torn expression looking back at me—waiting for me to say something. I should be mad, I think. I should want to scream and yell at him for keeping this secret from me, but I don’t. Instead I idly shake my head. “No.”
A look of relief washes over his adorable face and I crawl across the couch, sitting closer to him. Our legs touch and before my mind recognizes the actions of my heart, I reach up and pull him into a hug. “It’s all right, Aaden,” I whisper against his neck. “I trust you. You haven’t lost me.”
He pulls me tighter, letting me know my words have comforted his worried mind. His arms are warm against the thin material of my t-shirt, and as I rest my head on his shoulder for a moment, I find myself thinking about the advice he told me earlier: “You can think more clearly if you turn off your mind and just listen to your heart.” As hard as it is for me to comply with his words, I believe they hold some truth. If I just listen to what my heart feels instead of what my mind thinks, then maybe I can be happy without the guilt.
In the short time I’ve known him; Aaden has innately shown me what I’ve been looking for—what I’ve been missing. I know I can’t bring my parents back or search for Kayla until the ends of the earth, but I am allowed to be happy while I’m here without them. Aaden has shown me that hope can still exist in my life, and that there is a whole new world waiting for me. I’m nervous, excited and scared all at the same time, but knowing I have Aaden by my side provides me with the comfort I need to go through with this. I love the way I feel when he’s around, but more importantly, I trust him completely. This feels right, and as I lie comfortably in Aaden’s embrace, I realize my heart can no longer keep the promise my mind made.